Here is my practice model from Maisie’s model mastery call. Looking forward to receiving your thoughts and insights on this. It was my birthday yesterday. I didn’t throw a party or go for a weekend away with my partner. I noticed that I felt a bit sad and lonely looking at our living room that …
Modely mastery practice: birthday and social life Read More »
I would love feedback on the model about making a decision involving house, renovations, and a lot of money. The circumstance is that we’ve got new neighbors and they want to do renovations on the attic which links to our house. The facts are if we do it together it will be much cheaper in …
This is my first unintentional model, and I’d love some feedback. 🙂 C: I receive a text from my soon-to-be ex-husband that says, “You know that you cause me pain every day that we aren’t together. I can’t believe you changed your last name on WhatsApp to your old last name without telling me directly. …
Feedback request on first unintentional model — C: being told I cause someone pain Read More »
Hi! I would like some coaching around the goal that I think I would like to set for this autumn. Goal: to break down the feeling that I’m still a student, and replace it with the fact that I am a professional researcher. Rocks: – To be intentional in my work – To reflect – …
Hi Coaches, Its my first time setting a goal for a season and I would appreciate some feedback and pointers on it and also maybe how I can simplify. Setting an autumn goal comes after 12 months of being unemployed, going into a deep burnout and a slow recovery process carrying the uncertainty and trying …
I have been working as a freelancer for 2 years. Recently it has become a bit more clear how exactly my clients benefit from working with me (I knew it was useful but couldn’t quite put my finger on it). I decided to build a website and asked for some help with it. I would …
The story – my ex husband cheated on me in 2018 and left abruptly. I saw no warning signs (at the time) we were trying for a baby at the time. My world stopped because after 11 years together he just went. Explanation was minimal, he wasn’t open to any conversation, he’d made up his …
Hi coaches, I have noticed that in a lot of my UM shame comes up (among other feelings). The other feelings I find rather ‘logical’ to come up. But the shame-part doesn’t really make sense to me. It’s all things that I believe I don’t need to be ashamed about, yet shame seems to be …
I’ve just joined the flow collective and watched the replay from today, so here’s me taking action and sharing as Maisie suggested. C: I’m overdrawn and don’t have enough income to meet future costs T: I’m terrible with money F: anxious S: racing heart, racing brain as my head tries to solve the problem A: …
Hello, I’d like to get some advice in relation to my autumn goal. Weirdly I’ve chosen my rocks, but I’m stuck with the wording for my goal (I usually get stuck the other way around!) For context, I’ve just purchased my first house and I’ll be moving in the next two weeks. I’m moving closer …
Hi there AAC – thanks so much for the super useful response this week. I wanted to bring back a re-iterated version of my autumn goal for your thoughts. Feel excited to get cracking with it and fearful that it could be a big transformation! Which is great! GOAL: Stop making everything urgent and cultivate …
Hi – I’m sharing my first self-coaching model for any feedback you might be able to offer! C – Trip is almost over and I must soon head back to where I live T – I don’t want to go F – Grief S – Pit in stomach A – INTERNAL ACTIONS (a thought spiral): …
Hello Flo Collective, I wanted to share my first model of self couching and I’d like to get your advice about my thoughts, feelings, and the actions on this topic. C: Travelled for holiday to a different timezone location and for the first two days I’m mostly staying in the hotel, and am not doing …
Spending holiday days in the hotel and not doing sightseeing alone Read More »
I’m having difficulty creating an IM that resonates. My older sister said to my other sister’s partner that I wouldn’t work in our shop when mum had a heart attack. My older sister is 65 and I’m 60, this happened when I was a teenager. I don’t remember whether I refused to work in the …
Bringing this unintentional model following model mastery call with Maisie. C – not taking medication T – I’m neglecting this need F – frustrated S – clenched jaw A – gather negative thoughts about why I’m not taking medication. Increase in anxiety (social too), super self-aware R – I’ve collected evidence of how i’m neglecting …
A previous goal of mine was to complete my level 3 counselling skills course and to enrol on the level 4 course, which would enable me to become fully qualified as a counsellor. I completed the level 3 course in June and this week I started the level 4 course. To do this I have …
From the model mastery workshop today, here is my free writing download and my unintentional model. The desired result I want is to be able to face work this week and get the slides done without getting upset, and staying focused on keeping things simple. On Friday I got really upset at the end of …
Thank you so much for the coaching it prompted a storm of journaling. I see now that attaching my self worth to writing has put way too much pressure on it. I have been approaching my writing goal with too much neediness. I want to detach my worth from my productivity and also my creativity …
Hello, this submission is inspired by two submissions from other members that really resonated with me. One was about not putting your life on hold during the semester and teaching responsibilities. And the other one was about not feeling like you have to be productive 100% of the time during your working hours. With regard …
I just finished watching the replay of the autumn workshop and here’s what came up for me: Goal: Prepare my mind and body for pregnancy with my rocks being: – Changing my story – Nourishment – Movement The doubt that I’m having is that my goal for this year was to start trying to conceive. …
I’m 42 and had the coil fitted recently after 6 years without any hormonal contraception because of increasingly heavy periods. Short cycles, with crazy flooding just made life (& iron levels) really hard. I think perimenopause is the reason (early days) but having just joined the Flow Collective I’d love to hear your thoughts on …
I’m having trouble forming my autumn goal. Initially I wanted my goal to be to complete a creative project but I know I will complete it by Winter regardless of whether I set it as a goal or not (so bit of a cop out!) I always struggle to get my children out of the …
Thank you for the great coaching. Those R lines are definitely correct, thanks for finding those. When I look at those two models, I feel deflated and sad. I did some journalling around the questions: “Is it absolutely true that I’m a weak person?” and the only answer I could find is “yes, it’s true.” …
I recently started a new job in a completely new field of work, working with children. I brought feelings about being a newbie to Ask a coach before and that really helped prep me for being the best beginner I ever have been. I’ve been really kind to myself while sitting in the uncomfortable place …
I have always been quite sensitive to noise because I hear very well and I am prone to headaches and migraines. But after a year of insomnia recovery, noise has unintentionally become my enemy number one. Which I suspect makes me even more sensitive and irritable. Maisie talking about changing her relationship with the wind …
Hi! I have been feeling very disorganised recently / overwhelmed by life admin… such as emails, and the amount of random notes and to do lists on my phone. When I’m trying to be organised at work, I have strategies for this, and am pretty good at staying on top of things. But in my …
Hi, I have noticed that I’ve put weight on recently. I have steadily gained weight since the pandemic really, and the change to wfh lifestyle but it’s probably also to do with my age, being about to turn 30 etc. My relationship with my body is a complex one. In my family, some members have …
Hi, I’ve noticed that I end up dating a lot of men where I end up in a ‘fixer’ dynamic with them. I enjoy helping people, am very open-minded and passionate about mental health, as well as being a good listener. But I’ve found that I can end up in situations where this becomes very …
Hi! I’m currently trying to get better about putting myself out there, and taking up space – eg with sharing my work especially, as I’m trying to go freelance. Now that I’ve started to take more steps like this, which involves facing fears (of rejection, failure, ppl wondering what the hell I think I’m doing, …
Managing mind around rejection / no’s when putting myself out there Read More »
Hi coaches, I’ve been feeling really, really down for over three months now and I’m wondering what tools I can use to shake up my mood and start to feel a little more positive again. I’m feeling so negative, sad and like I’ve lost all my faith that things will work out. (I do see …
at work, I was talking about scheduling a meeting with colleagues and I had a sudden headache, I felt cold and slightly sick. This is totally normal for me when it comes to scheduling conversations. It stresses me out so accutely and I want to get some coaching on it. I have done some models …
Hi Coaches, I’ve been seeing someone new, and I notice that a lot of things they say trigger shame in me. I think I am already in a state of anxiety and shame about dating, but I am also feeling really unsettled by the prospect of liking someone and hoping that the feeling is mutual. …
Hello, I would love some help. (I am currently sick at home with Covid and I’m on my period so apologies in advance if this is going to sound very gloomy.) It’s my birthday in two-weeks time. I’m never super excited about birthdays. I’ve had some really nice ones and some disappointing ones in the …
There’s something I want to work through this Autumn season that has been simmering in my mind for some time. I’m highly activated by what I perceive to be complaining, whining, or expressing displeasure by others. For example: When I had a student last semester who (from my perspective), always answered in the negative, complained …
Hi I’ve been trying to coach myself through this but keep coming back to being annoyed. I have a team member on a temporary contract with me, they have been quite clear that the job isn’t really for them, they find it repetitive & boring. I’m fine with that part as I know the job …
Hello wonderful coaches! I am struggling at the moment, as a project I thought i had lined up doesn’t start til the end of October, and I’m not even sure I want to take it anyway, as it’s doing something similar to what I’m doing now (at least at first) – and I find it …
Hi, This one feels like a random one… and yet it’s also something that’s bothered me for a long long time, actually my entire life – and it’s always coming up on my to do lists as something ‘to do’ and improve at. It’s my relationship with drinking water! For as long as I remember, …
Hi, I wonder if you can help with a dating themed one. Recently, I’m excited to say that I feel more emotionally available than I have ever done in my life! I’m 29, have healed from a breakup earlier this year, had lots of fun dating time while being single & exploring my sexuality, alongside …
Hi there AAC, I’d love some support with figuring out my autumn goal. Maisie’s podcast this week was super relevant because – I’ve always struggled with making work too much a part of my identity, and therefore responsible for my self worth. I want to change this, but I’m also scared that if I do, …
I was watching the call replay from a couple of weeks ago recently and Maisie was talking about when our brains are being lazy when we start looking for ‘other things’. I think Maisie was saying that this can be our brains not wanting to confront how we’re feeling and what we’re doing right now …
My approach to working since my very first job has been that I need to be productive for 100% of the hours I am being paid to work. If I chitchat with a colleague or take a break to go for a walk I take a mental note of the break time and then make …
Dear coaches, I have moved from Amsterdam to Glasgow almost two weeks ago now to start my dream master’s programme. It’s been an incredible amount of work to get here, from the application in January, to ever since then trying to get scholarships, find a flat, apply for a visa, etc etc, and all that …
How to reflect, celebrate and transition after a stressful time Read More »
I’d like to request coaching on my thoughts regarding the decision to have kids with my husband. When we got married it was on the understanding I wanted to have kids, and (after he dragged his feet and I pinned him down on a timeline) we agreed to start trying to conceive in the year …
Hi there! I want to share something and get coaching on a theme I struggle with as long as I remember. At least from being 4 years old my mum told me, I have this tendency to feel resistence when people ask me if I like to meet. I think when I look at the …
I tried out the thought ‘I can write anywhere anytime’ and while I do mostly believe this is true I still haven’t been doing the writing… I feel like something else is blocking me. I did a thought download and realised that I have attached a lot of my self worth as a person to …
Hi! My goal for autumn is going to be the same as the one I had in summer, because I didn’t make it happen. This was partly due to some external changing factors (such as moving house, which took up over a month, and holidays) that I hadn’t planned for. As well as some recurrent …
Struggling to (convincingly!) believe that goal is possible Read More »
Thank you for this coaching! Very helpful (love the dominos metaphor ahah) – and in the last week, I do feel like I’m getting into the flow of things again and taking more action, which feels exciting. Something I’m noticing is that I have some fears around this loss of momentum and having it again, …
Thanks for your coaching on this! It was really helpful. In the end, I decided not to go. And I have been very happy and confident in my decision. On the weekend that I was supposed to be there, I instead did nourishing things for myself, including spending time with my sister – and I …
Hi Coaches, I’m unsure if this is the correct place to post this but I’ve tried looking online and keep coming up short! I’ve recently gone through a termination and I’m expecting to start bleeding any time from now. Do you know what the first period after a termination is generally like? I know the …
Hi there! I am beginning to work with setting goals for each cycle and am a little confused about which are my goals and which are my rocks – I’d really appreciate some feedback/advice please! So far I have my main goal for this cycle: to get started with my PhD Fieldwork. (nb. I’m already …
C: I arrived in a classroom to discover the form had no teacher for their PSHE lesson. I am the head of year and usually we are asked to cover. I had not been told of the absence of the form tutor nor was this on the cover list for the day. I called the …
Hi dear coaches, I am trying to establish a UM that comes up when I feel what I call “frenzy to buy” new things. I will typically feel a deep desire and sense of urgency to buy new items (usually clothing/ accessories/shoes) that I don’t necessariliy need. These impulse buys sometimes end up not being …
I am currently feeling a huge sense of loss, almost like grief. It is affecting my motivation with my business and in my personal life. I think this is because I have realised I have developed quite strong feelings for a man I can’t have (we are actually both married) and I feel a sense …
I went to the hairdresser yesterday. I don’t like artificial fragrances but I habitually forget this when going to the hairdresser and they use scented products on my hair. This time – I remembered! Big win! And I took my own unscented shampoo and conditioner ready to ask the hairdresser to use them. Second win: …
Hello lovely coaches! I’m returning to uni (yeyyyyy!!!!!!!!!) after intermitting. One of the accommodations I’m going to have in place is “double time”. This involves splitting each year of the course over multiple years, to account for a reduced working capacity. The specific split is decided by me and my director of studies, based on …
Dear Coaches I have been thinking and working on my relationship with work a lot recently. After burning out in 2017, I identified a lot of my patterns, like how much my self worth is connected to achievements at work, hyperindependence and perfectionism. After coming out of a period of intense work stress recently this …
I’m writing this in the tail end of a meltdown. I just had a traumatic experience on the bus where an aggressive woman came on to the bus, the buggy area was full (my buggy was parked there, my daughter next to me in one of the big seats) She demanded I leave my daughter …
Anger at Ableism and Ignorance towards Autistic People Read More »
Hello dear coaches, Here the UM I’m in currently. C I’ve been enjoying my partner being away for the past few days. T Is this normal/fine? Or is there something deeper? (Also, another thought is: this is great!) F unsettled A ruminate R I engage in feeding doubts about being commited to this relationship To …
I think it’s true that I need to put myself out there more, and I definitely feel a lot of shame when I do find myself liking someone. Unless they take the lead, I do everything in my power to hide it – often this isn’t a conscious thought, but my instinctual response to being …
Dear Coaches, I am currently working on the relationship to my parents and am working my way through the people pleasing, relationship and critic coachings. One thing a struggle with though is communication while I am unclear about how I want the relationship to be. I am currently torn between working on improving it or …
What jumped out at me about your response was this: You wrote “your thoughts about them judging you is harming you much more than any words they can say” and I AGREE. I think I would feel hurt by their “judging” me if it was about any topic. I have felt hurt in the past …
Feeling Fear About Being Perceived As Single And Unhappy About It – Part 3 Read More »
Thank you 😊 1) What are you stealing from yourself when you get stuck in this shame and blame spiral? Stealing connection with my mum Stealing value concordant decision making away from myself Stealing opportunities through limiting my thoughts and actions Stealing time and energy away from myself Stealing a VC, SS and P relationship …
Your question: Am I truly in danger without a partner? I am not in danger in the sense that I can provide for myself. I actually do a great job of providing a lovely life for myself, so I’m not in danger in the kind of Jane Austen sense of not being able to survive …
Feeling Fear About Being Perceived As Single And Unhappy About It – Part 2 Read More »
I am looking for ways to either harness or dissolve my anger before it erupts into rage directed at others. Twice this past week, and once last week, I engaged in screaming at, and taunting people that pissed me off while I was working. I experience road rage often and, when not working, will get …
I’d like some coaching on this thought I have that my results are not congruent with the image I have of myself. I’m a type of coach (alongside my paid employment), and I have done a massive amount of work on myself to think about myself as a coach. I struggled with feeling ‘not enough’ …
Hi coaches! I’ve been working with my nervous system for about two weeks and I can see that a shift is happening during the days. I notice when I leave ventral-vagal and can actively try to slowly get back. This works by breathing deeper, touchingy hands, telling myself that I am safe and – if …
Coaches, I’ve not done this before – I need help with different model but revolving a same situation. It’s still on the feature pieces that I have to write, and dealing with my editor. Again, the team has to work through these pieces rather quickly and always towards the end of a very demanding week. …
Anger, being made to feel irrelevant and the annoying editor. Read More »
Hi coaches, I need some coaching on a situation which has been recurring for more than a year plus now. It’s on feature pieces that I have to write, an editor who makes many changes and me needing to pay attention late on a Friday night when the pages are sent for print. This happens …
Tiredness, recognising limits and dealing with annoying editor. Read More »
My eldest daughter is autistic and my youngest has ADHD. My eldest has a desire to control everything whilst my youngest is a whirlwind – my thought is that it’s a very tricky dynamic to navigate. I am an empath and absorb the emotions of others around me. If one of my children is upset …
I am wondering if you can give me some advice about handling the feeling of overwhelm. Sometimes when I feel like I have so much to do, I get overwhelmed and even when I pick things off the list in a calm, orderly fashion, it seems like the list keeps getting longer. Sometimes I feel …
Hi! I had a situation come up the other day, where a friend told me how she steals a lot from stores. It is not just food and essential items, but expensive luxury items and art supplies. She is fully capable of working, but chooses not to most of the time. She has totally justified …
Hello! I spotted a thought pattern while doing pilates this morning that has had an impact on me for a very long time. I’m working on building my business and when I wake up in the morning my automatic thought is “this isn’t going anywhere”. Then my brain goes in the direction of ” I …
Hello, I go horse riding on the weekends. At the stable where I’m riding, there are of course some people who spend much more time there and know some things better and / or have very clear expectations of how things should be handled (for example, how the water hose should be rolled up, how …
Thank you so much for your answer. It feels light and relieving to think that it’s really not important to fuss about her. (And it’s something I can apply to other circumstances / persons, too!) Even if she talks behind my back with her friends (which she might or might not do), she isn’t really …
Hi! I am thinking of working less hours a week. From 32 hours to 24 hours. I work as a psychologist in a very extraverted and social job with lots of responsibilites. I am neurodivergent en highly sensitive and introvert. Therefore my job costs me lots of energy and I am often tired. The job …
I wanted to share some notes I took during watching the Messy Imperfect Action replay — I’d love some coaching on how I could get to the thoughts and feelings that would allow me to move beyond perfectionism in fear of missing out… Feeling: Fear Feel the need to take perfect action Life Thoughts: I …
Hello coaches, I would love some help with something. I don’t own a horse but I’m allowed to ride another person’s horse on the weekends. Another woman also rides the same horse. It’s about my relationship towards that other woman who rides the same horse (and is also not the owner). This person has always …
Thanks for the coaching it was really helpful. It’s funny when you asked where my beliefs of needing a daily writing practice came from the first thing I thought of was a girl at university asking me what I wanted to be. I said I thought I’d like to be a writer. She asked me …
It’s my birthday in 8 days time, I’m going to be 39. My divorce hearing is in 3 days time, fingers crossed it is the last or at worst second last hearing. My divorce has been going on for a long time, 3 years. Although it is an amicable divorce, I am finding the process …
It’s my birthday …and I’m finding it challenging Read More »
Hello, I am seeking coaching on my thoughts and feelings about having a child. I am about to turn 39, single, and for the last two years have had a lot of clarity about a strong desire to have a child. Last year I went through five IUI/IVF cycles, with a few embryo transfers but …
I have started working as an independent midwife. I’ve had one client so far – it was magical. I have had some other enquiries but currently have no further clients booked. To continue earning money – I work agency (flexible) shifts at the local maternity unit. I struggle with the maternity system and think I …
Hi! I recently spent a camping weekend with my partner and two of my partner’s friends. One of them is very important in my partner’s life, she is more than 10 years older and a bit like a mother for him. I met her before but this time was especially challenging as we spent more …
Trying to figure out what coaching I need to help me process this scenario. I had a very heated and rather dramatic falling out with my sisters husband a few days ago. For context, we do not get on easily, in the past we have had very difficult and upsetting conversations usually about something that’s …
Our flat’s owners ended our lease. We decided not to look for another rental, to take the kids out of the school and to stay with family & friends for 5-6 months in different places while I freelance on the go. After that, we need to figure out where to return to while my husband …
I’d like some coaching on the way I’m thinking and feeling about my relationships while working on goals that focus on other things. I’m happy with my current goals which focus on my career and my health, and with having other areas of my life on maintenance mode, except for when it comes to my …
Approach to relationships when not a main focus of my goals Read More »
Hello coaches! I would like to get some coaching on feeling unmotivated at work. I feel like what I do in the work has no purpose, no meaning, no impact. Most of the things that have an impact (like really working with people) run through my boss, who is the brain of the company, the …
Hello! Thanks for pointing the Black and white thinking out to me! You are absolutely right. I also notice that this is quite a common theme for me (I submitted another AAC request a few days ago, which – as I know realize – is FULL of black and white thinking). This is already very …
Update: I messaged him and he never responded!! I’ve officially been ghosted. I was shocked at first, but it’s been five days and I can honestly say that I am already moving on from that experience as I’m quite clear on the thought “this has everything to do with him and nothing to do with …
Apologies if this is a bit of a mess. I’m not really sure where to start. I want more than anything to be writing everyday but I’m not doing it. I want to take action in lots of areas of my life but find myself stuck in procrastination and just being swept along. I’m a …
My husband and I have let a property for approx. 6 years to current. I’ve raised a discussion about declaring tax, multiple times, my husband shared resistance. Two of more of these discussions have taken place with the presence of family members, agreeing we should do our tax return. Over the years, I’ve let his …
Hi coaches. Hope you can help with some of these feelings and thoughts. I recently met with a group of 5 girl friends. Two have a baby on the way and 3 already have toddlers/baby. All are in long term relationships. I am single, with no kids but would love to have a family one …
The actions that would create the result of having a relaxed relationship with whatsapp could be: – not feeling the need to respond – being totally okay with don’t responding at all for weeks or months – only responding when I like to communicate via whatsapp – only responding when I feel safe – delete …
My original thought is “if I experience these feelings, it means I can’t handle life.” I think my new thought according to my Summer Goal of a more neutral relationship with emotions can be: “If I experience three feelings, it means I have a human brain.” Actually, my second thought after that one is: “But …
Hi there, I am trying to feel emotions around a big and unusual event that happened last night. I came back home to my boyfriend who had been away. He had been to a very spiritual experience in a woodland for a couple of days and told me he had had a very deep and …
Dear lovely coaches, I’d like help with some ruminating thoughts surrounding one of my best friends. We tend to send each other lots of voice messages as a way of keeping in touch. I had been quiet for a while, because I’d been going through a tough period & my mental health was low. She …
Hey coaches, I have relistened the podcast with ‘ honoring your yes’s and no’s’ and I really spoke to me in this situation. My partner and I said yes to trying to have a baby. I said a very sure yes in trying to have a baby because I have done some coaching the past …
I’ve been practising self coaching for the last few days, and it really is incredible. Yet sometimes I find that I have some feelings, or rather a state of the nervous system perhaps, that don’t appear to be brought on by thoughts (anxiety, sadness and others). I wonder what the best way to go about …
Feeling that don’t appear to be brought on by thoughts Read More »
I am still reflecting on the questions from part 1. I’m kind of turning in circles though and I always come back to the thought “these things shouldn’t have happened in the first place” (and therefore they can not be forgiven.) I somehow have this deep rooted belief that some things can be forgiven and …
I watched the nutrition webinar today and I am feeling excited about improving my nutrition. However, I know there are some underlying thought patterns that I would like to change. I’ve always been quite a fussy eater, and growing up we ate quick meals of mostly the same things. Even as an adult I feel …
I’d love coaching with regard to making decisions, as I find myself coming back to the same decision over and over again. Context: I’ll have to move in the next year and I keep going back and forth between moving to city A (close to job, opportunity to buy an apartment, marginally closer to support) …