C: I call my mother and sister who are at home alone together (husbands and kids have gone away for the weekend) T: They speak about me when I’m not there. F: Left out. Jealous. Outsider. A: I close up, defensive, protecting myself in the conversation. R: Don’t speak openly, keep it to civil chat, …
Hi coaches, I would like some guidance on a model. I have a lot of thoughts about things I must or should do, coming from perfectionist patterns and always being aware of everything that isn’t yet as it ‘should be’. Today I realized I have a thought about these thoughts and I tried to do …
Hi! TW: mentioning of mental health and suicide. I have just read for the 4th time through the ‘how to cancel your membership’ paragraph ever since I started being a member of the flow collective in April. The reason I am thinking to (at least for now) cancel my membership is, that I feel that …
Membership question. should I stay or should I go? Read More »
Hello, dear coaches, my question is about a specific event but it is also a pattern that comes up for me with in some form or the other with nearly any social occasion, so I could really use some coaching with it. There is a work-related but not very formal party tonight, and I don’t …
Hi, after listening to Maisie’s model course today and after working through several models (still early days for me) I find myself at a cross road for a decision I need to make and would love some feedback on a model. It’s about a new project/contract (I’m a contractor). To give you some background: my …
Circumstance: Lying in bed with my husband after returning from a trip away Thought: He’s not pleased to see me Feeling: Rejected Action: Ask him over and over ‘What’s wrong?’, Say, ‘It feels like you’re not pleased to see me’, Become needy, ask him to hug me, tell him I need love. Result: Keep pushing/annoying …
Hello! Would love some coaching on my insecurity and unclarity about moving in with my boyfriend. We agreed that this would be a good decision, so we can spend more time together (instead of commuting so much), save some money and start a new adventure together. The thing is that he lives in the big …
Hi coaches I have had that classic realisation that changing jobs multiple times hasn’t led to feeling any better about how I feel about working for others. However, I am feeling scared to go solo and become self-employed – even though I know this is ultimately what I want to do. I keep putting off the …
This is my first time Asking a Coach, so I hope I get it right. Apologies for the length, I expect I will be able to ascertain my thoughts and convey my situation to others more concise and coherent the longer I’m in TFC. I have been working on my master’s thesis for a year …
I started watching the model workshop from 4/19 with Maisie to know what to expect for today’s call, and in the first few minutes I realized I’ve been living in the land of confusion. I’ve been camped in confusion for quite a while; I’d say I’ve been in this space for a year and a …
Hi, I am in my mid twenties and a year and a half ago I underwent surgery for the removal of a cyst on my left ovary. This event triggered me to read Period Power, listen to Maisie’s podcast, and then ultimately join TFC, as I wanted to learn more so I could help myself. …
TFC services, and where to find information after ovarian cyst removal surgery. Read More »
Hi there, My period have stopped but I’m still ovulating, I know this as I’ve just had an internal scan. My question is how do I chart my cycle if my period have stopped? Answer: Here at Ask A Coach, we offer coaching and this is a question rather than a coaching submission so …
I find myself triggered with an old model when I accompany my 4 year old to sleep in the evenings. Highly triggered when she was a baby and cried several hours in the evening, and now I’m triggered mostly when I’m not connected well with myself, tired, or having a list of unfulfilled needs. I …
My answers to questions are indicated with a ‘-‘ Great job with your models and noticing how different thoughts and feelings create the same actions. Notice that your focus in your unintentional model is guessing what to do to create a reaction out of him. You are checking his reaction to determine how he feels, …
Sorry, I don’t know how to link this to my previous AOC Submission – Dealing with criticism/Difficult work relationships – but this is what I discovered. Resentment feels heavy, hot and deep. I feel it in my head. Shame feels cold, and stings but then subsides into a dull ache. I feel it in my …
Dealing with criticism/Difficult work relationships part 2 Read More »
Thank you so much for the prompts. Here is what I came up with: My thoughts about my feeling detached from my body, my nervous system shutting down, and experiencing emotions in small installments are… T: This is probably my body’s and nervous systems’s self-defense mechanism as they know that these emotions are raw and …
For the last 10 years, I live abroad, far away from my family – mom and dad (I am the only child). I would describe my relationship with my parents as rather okay, and functional, we have not encountered big family issues but for the years I’ve been abroad I have noticed we have many …
This is my first question having just joined a few days ago. I am a freelancer and run workshops for women in their mid-years. Marketing takes up a lot of my time getting enough people signed up. I often get stage fright in the lead-up to the workshop and doubt myself, get over complicated, repeat …
Maintaining belief and being productive when fear creeps in to work situations Read More »
I joined the Flow Collective to take better care of myself and to change some of my harmful beliefs. For the last couple of weeks, I’ve been trying really hard to speak kindly to myself. I thought I was doing well until last night (post ovulation dip?) – I saw a video with me in …
Hey coaches, i have a few complex questions and would appreciate some initial input: I don’t know if I can or want to continue in my job. I’ve been struggling with it for years (I’m a stage designer at the theater) and just can’t get ahead. For the past 5 years I have had episodes …
Over the past few months I have realized that I am likely autistic. As I started learning more about autism in adult women it is like all of my seemly unrelated “quirks” finally made sense. It has felt great to find something that could link all of my sensory issues, obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors, …
Hi, I’ve just found a new UM that has been rearing its head and is pushing me off track, it’s a bit jumbled in my head at the moment. C Being clothes size X T I don’t want people to see me this size F Ashamed/Embarrassed A Avoid social situations A Default to laying on …
How much is the season and the weather affecting my cycle and hormones? I have spotting in the winter but now when the Summer is here the spotting is gone. I get easily cold in the winter (with cold hands and feet) and a Chinese medicine practitioner said that that contributes to my pms and …
I have noticed that I behave in a performative way when I’m intimate with my boyfriend. This issue used to be a lot worse with my last sexual partner – I suspect because I didn’t love him or feel safe with him (our relationship was long term but casual). The sex I have with my …
Just joined up with you and am feeling a little confused, doesn’t take much now! I have started to work through the videos but how do I track my cycle or whatever it is called when you are in Perimenopause. I still have all the Seasons you talk about but now I am 56 they …
I have recently had the results of a thyroid function blood test following feeling exhausted in my spring and summer (and for a long time). The results showed raised levels of TSH and the presence of thyroid antibodies. The report recommended that I speak to my GP as, along with my symptoms, indicate that my …
Thought models around getting medical help for thyroid issues Read More »
Spring Goal: Stay in my body during anxiety and stop resisting feelings Rocks: 1) Continue with the flow collective and journaling/models 2) Listen very closely to my intuition 3) Send myself loving and caring energy 4) Listen to music Thought Download: I thought I was “winning” at my goal. I was feeling really good about …
Please can someone review my unintentional and neutral models to see if I’ve missed anything? Thanks in advance! C: My friend and her husband are coming tomorrow. T: I don’t like him. F: Uncomfortable. A: Don’t know how to respond to him. A: Trying to engage with him/make him interested. A: Constantly watching him for …
Hello, I am going on holiday next Friday and I’m worried that when I’m away I won’t be able to enjoy my holiday because I’ll be stressing about things going on at home. I really want to coach myself with some thought work for how to cope with things that come up when I’m away …
When I evaluated my goal «To feel safe and happy in my body” i came to the realization that I in many ways had already achieved my goal. I have felt safe and happy and continue to feel this feeling more and more. However, I did notice some thought-patterens that weren´t sustainable in the long …
Hi This is something I really struggle with, and im not sure if it connected to my ADHD/Autism, but an incident this week has brought it to the front of my mind and I would love help in how to deal with it. Basically, another school mum I am quite friendly with stopped by for …
Thank you coaches for your response to part 1. It supported me to see that I was avoiding and resisting the uncomfortable feelings of the stress response. I wanted to remove the sensations, as historically feelings of extreme stress show up as digestive issues and skin flare ups. Before your reply, I had started to …
Hi there, thank you for this opportunity – it’s just so amazing that you’re offering this! A few words on the background: A few weeks ago I received a message from an old university friend. Back then we’ve had some great times together, but I always had the subtle feeling that she was kind of …
I’d like feedback on the following. The unintentional models came out with very similar actions and I’m not sure if I need to come up with three re-framed/intentional models or if one (which I think covers all) is enough. Thanks in advance! Unintentional models C: I had a breast reduction operation 3 weeks ago: …
Hi there flow coaches!! I am a 36 year lady who works as a self employed gardener along side my husband. We have our own business. I am currently 23 weeks pregnant and I am struggling with the physical nature of the job on straining and energy, working in the heat and a period of …
Dear coach, This is going to be a bit of a ramble, my apologies. I’m still fairly new to the flow collective and still haven’t managed to create any models yet. I’m all over the place. 1. On April 30 my mum committed suicide 2. Because of the above I’ve decided to move back to …
Cycle tracking (independently from everything else that happens in life) Read More »
Hi there, Two weeks ago, I started a new job at a (so far) wonderful company. I have great colleagues, the atmosphere is nice and besides, it’s in the field of sustainability, so that’s good as well. Over the past years, I mostly worked remotely (as a freelancer and then at home/alone at the office …
Hi dearest coaches! I’d like to get your feedback on the ladder thoughts I’ve created for my Spring Goal. My intention is to read/repeat them every start of the day and before situations that can be challenging. First of all: my spring goal is ‘I am loyal to myself, to who and how I am, …
Hello lovely coaches! I have experienced a lot of resistance with sharing my thoughts / asking for help in here. I have had thoughts like ‘my concerns are not big enough for ask a coach’, ‘I am not 100% clear about what I need support on”, etc. However, in light of the Massive action week …
PART 2 after coaching; Finding a Goal/Intentional Model around strengthening my relationship. Thank you for providing such helpful coaching providing several questions that gave me so much clarity exploring them. I even teared up feeling relieved that I can make this work and feeling the love I have for my partner. I explored the questions …
In my goal setting work I keep noticing time cropping up as an obstacle. I run my own business and have recently returned to work after maternity leave. My partner works full-time and I am the primary carer for our baby during the week. I have about an hour each morning and her nap times …
Massive action week is looming and I am feeling a bit stuck with how to go about it. My goal that I set was to build a better relationship with myself and to feel comfortable in my body. My rocks are: 1. Find something to love about myself everyday that I can agree with. 2. …
I’ve worked through the questions in Maisie’s email on preparation for massive action week. My goal is to get a new job offer (at least 30% salary increase and working 4 days a week) while continuing to have fun. My rocks are to apply for jobs, self-coach, and plan fun activities with friends and family. …
I have done quite some work on my own perfectionism, setting (too high) goals and being judging of myself. I feel like I have made great improves in this and am more self loving and self caring now. But in autumn, when I have PMS and mood swings, I recognize I am doing what I …
Hi there, As of yesterday evening I have been told that my job is in serious jeopardy. I will likely find out friday/monday for certain, but it looks like my department is being shut-down with almost immediate effect. Aside from the practical aspects of looking into redundancy issues etc. I would love some focussed advice …
Dealing with sudden setbacks/bad things happening! Read More »
Hello. I’m on day 22 of my first cycle since a complicated pregnancy loss, and I’m struggling with my partner and child. I found myself shouting at them, being bossy, snappy and even thinking I’d be better of not having a family at all , but not saying it out loud and feeling guilty to …
I’ve been doing lots of thought work on my parenting of and relationship with my 6 year old son, mainly driven by a desire to respond in a more helpful way when he is upset, angry, or agressive. From a thought download I highlighted thoughts such as I’m making a mess of things / getting …
I have created my intentional goal model and I am struggling to find some clear actions to help me reach the result. My goal has internal focus and I’m wondering how to make it more tangible. C: Goal of being free from the desire of attention/ validation from others. T: I am all I need …
Hello, So I am mum to a 1.5 year old and I work from home too. My husband opened a new hostility business at the start of the year and has a long commute so is usually out of the house 14 hours a day 5-6 times a week and I am struggling to find …
Hello lovely coaches! I’ve been procrastinating writing to you, as I have found it very difficult to put my thoughts and feelings into an actual question. I guess my question is how to find some more clarity about the thought of moving countries. I am Australian, and moved to Germany ten years ago to further …
Last August I had a large endometrioma cyst removed from my ovary and since then have had a big scar on my lower stomach and side of my stomach. The spring forward workshop visualisation that Maisie did for us made me feel really emotional when we put our attention to our ovaries. And I think …
My goal is around improving my relationship with my partner but I struggle to make it more specific. I originally came up with creating awareness of my thoughts and actions and effect on relationship, so my actions would be around listening to coaching calls and doing self-coaching a few times a week, but couldn’t get …
Finding a goal/intentional model around strengthening my relationship Read More »
I still haven’t managed to set a goal, and this has been causing me some anxiety. Today I had a bit of a breakthrough, though: I’m struggling to set a goal because I am already working towards two goals that I set at New Years. The first was to choreograph a handbalancing act and the …
Hi there So I work as a gardener self employed but for a company. They are lovely people, really encouraging and very human. I can decide when I work and they book stuff in for me which has been amazing especially having long covid for 8 weeks last August and my Mum getting diagnosed with …
I have just returned from a trip abroad with my partner of 3 years and my daughter who is nearly 5. It is a trip I had been having some anxiety about and had wondered for a while about whether I would acutally take. In the approach to it I was feeling excited. I’d had …
The last few cycles I have experienced really intense Pre menstural symptoms, an increase in migraine, emotional distress, intrusive thoughts and not being able to get out of bed. I’m seeking support from a medical professional, (yay! to the GP who finally listened.) But in the meantime I am supporting myself as much as I …
PMDD and saying no during Luteal Phase and isolation Read More »
Hello lovely coaches. So, I live and work in the same place (on an estate) with my partner (who also lives and works here). As a result, our lives revolve around work.. work in general, work politics, our neighbours are also our colleagues, work work work. It can be hard to disconnect and switch off, …
Feeling frustrated & stuck and wanting change VS. scarce mentality Read More »
Hello coaches, Initially I thought I had chosen a great goal – one that crosses many aspects of my life and will help with my overall wellbeing – my goal is to experience radical rest. Then my mind suggested that this goal is too easy and I should be striving for something active! But I’ve …
I have been finding it difficult to decide when my decision is impacting my children. I am feeling a lot of doubt and fear. I need to decide if I will continue to homeschool my children or if they will attend public school this fall. I have been making decisions including big life decisions (such …
I have been working for a small business which is in its very early stages and is having a few wobbles, financially. It is a very small team and I am essentially the right-hand woman for the director. The director herself has been having some personal challenges in relationships and the business has had a …
TW: weight loss Hello, I was part of the people who hadn’t managed to set a goal and after watching the model replay with Maisie – I think I have figured out why… I don’t have a cycle and have been told that if I lose a bit of weight (3 kilos) I might get …
Hello! I am noticing some indecision around wording of my goal for these three months. The context is that a get intense pain on day one of my cycle and a big part of being in the flow collective is to help me reduce that pain. Currently every other period I haven’t had to take …
I am deep in my autumn. moving houses coming up which is timed well with my two weeks off between jobs and with my partners promotion/increase in responsibilities, learning curve, stress, and increased demands on his time. I am trying to manage my thoughts around the move and create a feeling of confidence. One thing …
I’ve had irregular/no menstrual cycle for over 7 years. I put it down to the multiple contraceptives I was taking and a doctor who said I had PCOS (due to my lack of periods). In the last 9 months I’ve been off contraceptives and plan to stay this way, with the intention of letting my …
Hi coaches, I’m feeling frustrated and upset this week because everything I’m hearing and reading about the seasons of the cycle don’t really seem to reflect my experience of my own cycle. I was hoping to find that some of the mood swings and big emotions I feel in life were related to my cycle …
My brother and sister in law always send my husband and us pictures of them out and about having fun and enjoying different experiences. They seem to go out a lot. I want to be happy for them but I end up comparing my life with theirs and feeling very inadequate as I’m not out …
For a long time I’ve felt that I want to become a parent one day. I’m 34 now and I feel ready. I have always been transparent about this with my partner (now 7 years together) and we casually talked about it, but we only started talking about it seriously 1-1,5 years ago. He was …
My partner doesn’t want kids but I do – how do we move forward? Read More »
Hi, I would like your guidance on the following topic: I’ve noticed through my models that my relationship (esp. in my head) with my sisters and cousins is a little off – I’m rephrasing: off balance. I absolutely love them and adore them (two sisters, two cousins), even if we don’t spend as much time …
I would love some guidance on how to communicate that I don’t drink alcohol. I stopped drinking more than two years ago and it feels fantastic! Still, I’m having trouble in situations where people usually drink, and I have to “uncover” that I don’t drink anymore (at all). For example, this weekend I’m invited to …
Hello, I’ve had a very emotional weekend processing my family history/inner child wounds and unpacking the lack of self love/worth that has been keeping me in (led me back to) a toxic, emotionally abusive relationship. An unconscious belief that I have became clear to me, that I will never have the emotionally attuned relationship that …
Hi coaches! I have been back and forth all week with trying to find my goal. It’s not that I don’t have any.. it’s that I have many goals, and I have noticed I am putting a lot of pressure on myself to find ‘the right one’. I have moments when I think ‘Yes! this …
Hi This is probably a simple question but I keep hearing about thought downloading. Could you explain what this is and a brief explanation of how and when to do it or please tell me where I would find this information. Sorry if I have put this in the wrong place Many thanks Answer: So …
Hi, My goal for these next few months is to create a body of work. I already work as a creative in the music industry, but this project is going to be sole by myself for myself. I have found it challenging because my inner critic makes me doubt myself a lot, which again makes …
I am trying to love myself during my autumn. Thinking about it I find that what I struggle the most with is that my kids don’t deserve to risk being yelled at 14 out of 24 days of their lives. And that feels like a thought that I can’t accept as anything but a truth …
After joining the flow collective a few months ago, I have been enjoying feeling part of a community of people who want to do the work in order to feel better. I was diagnosed with PMDD during lock down & have suffered with mental health problems for as long as I can remember, on reflection …
Hi coaches! I have always had some sensory issues (hyper sensitive to certain sounds such as chewing, cutlery on plates, flicking fingernails) and I am just starting to connect these with my cycle. My coping strategies for when these sensations are happening are: trying to distract myself, telling myself it is the noise that is …
Hi, I have a couple of really workable and exciting goals, connected to my business. However, I am trying to overcome a barrier I have created, to move forward with a goal. It may well be a goal itself. In a bid to be open and myself, before I aim to expand my business, I …
Hello. First of all, thank you so much for offering this amazing opportunity! I would love some help with a situation I currently experience with regard to my hobby. I’m a very passionate horse back rider. I love horses. I always feel so calm and grounded when I’m surrounded by them. I always ride the …
Hi there, I have a history of disordered eating in my teens and twenties but got over it eventually. 10 years ago I decided to no longer obsess over food, and that has worked for me. I now eat well and regularly, and I exercise moderately. (Yay!) However, I can’t seem to let go of this life-long and …
Hia. Since my youngest started school in October I decided to devote more time to my jewellery business and make it work as my job around being a mum to 3 kids. I made really good progress from October- Christmas and sold most of what I was able to make but for the last three …
Dearest Flow Coaches, I need some guidance around how to stay in an empathetic, peaceful, and understanding space during discussions with my husband who has ADHD. I feel to explain a bit about me for context… pardon the hot waffle that follows.. Growing up, I was an undiagnosed dyslexic child. At my London, private “high …
I joined TFC recently, finished reading Period Power and am now reading Perimenopause Power. I have known for a while I was perimenopausal and have since reading these come to realise I may have had ADHD and possibly Autism all my life, and PMDD since I was 11 – I am now 51. I have …
Dear coach! I would love to get some of your thoughts on these models on money. I have written down others with the same C-line, and different thoughts and feelings. I decided to share these since I think they are really on the basis of what is going on. I am quite unsure about my …
Hi Coaches , so im bringing back and model to continue working on as i seem to have come back to my unintentional model again , this was my cleaned up model and advice i received. C: HV job 4 days/week, Coaching business T: I do not have enough time or money (Is this the …
Dear coach, my boyfriend is far away at the moment and for the next month. We were having a challenging time before, almost breaking up, but in the end deciding to give ‘it’ another try after we reunite in a month. I keep coming back to thoughts and feelings about him or us that are …
Hi! I just joined and am very excited to be here. I’m familiarizing myself with all the content, modules, and calls, etc. But I’m having some doubts that I’m doing this “right”. Some background: Like many of us, throughout quarantine, I learned a lot about myself/my body. I learned that I am highly sensitive, and …
So I posted this up on the facebook feed but think I’d like some coaching with it. I have charted my cycle for years (more in depth in the past year) and have totally changed my lifestyle (over the past 7 years) to try and enable my cycles to become more regular, however in truth …
Boundaries continued… Thank you for your response to my query about withdrawing from my daughter. (03/14/2022) I have thought about the reason that I withdrew and in theory I can see that I attach too much meaning to her actions. The problem is that withdrawing at that point is to stop myself from expressing my …
Hi coaches! I’d like some help unpicking an ongoing, underlying thought process I seem to keep returning to. I have a two food intolerances – dairy and gluten, and have known and worked to avoid them for about 5 years now. It has changed my life for the better: no longer am I in constant …
Hello lovelies, just wanting to check in with my first self-coaching model to see if this is right… C: I joined the Flow Collective T: I am irresponsible and selfish for spending so much money on myself F: Guilt A: I don’t tell anyone about joining. I spend time worrying about money. I don’t …
I am a strong, independent, confident person but I am also a people pleaser from deep within. I like to be liked. I like to be needed. I like people to think well of me and talk well of me. With that comes anxiety and constant attention to people’s looks and responses. The positive is …
One of the arguments that comes up again and again between me and my lovely partner is that I feel he doesn’t respond to things I tell him with as much curiosity and interest as I respond to things he tells me. This can range from things I say about how my day was to …
Firstly, I am so pleased to be here as i feel i have so many things to work through and just getting grip on my cycle will improve my overall health and experience and get me back into a more helpful mindset. So the biggest thing on my mind is i just started out …
This question is about a feeling that I find it difficult to proccess. It’s an overwhelming feeling that I have done something completely wrong and that I am a bad person. An example: I can be a bit clumsy when I try to set bounderies for myself. So I was at the gym and bumped …
I am working on boundaries and am very new to the process. This morning I read a line in ‘perimenopause power’ that has really hit a nerve. On pg 164 Maisie is talking about her son climbing on her like a climbing frame and her reaction to this. “When I do this, I’m letting …
Hello, I have just joined the collective, and am beyond happy to be here. I was on birth control for 10 years and when coming off it in Jan 2021 was diagnosed with PCOS. Since I have had about 3 periods in a year and a half and suffer from extremely long periods of PMS …
Dear Coach! I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia about 6 months ago. I have noticed that I get more fatigue and pain during the autumn time of my month. Do any of you have any experiences coaching people wanting to harness their cycle while also working with chronic pain? I know the coaching itself will help …