Shannon

Help with a model

Hi, after listening to Maisie’s model course today and after working through several models (still early days for me) I find myself at a cross road for a decision I need to make and would love some feedback on a model. It’s about a new project/contract (I’m a contractor). To give you some background: my …

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Model Feedback

Circumstance: Lying in bed with my husband after returning from a trip away Thought: He’s not pleased to see me Feeling: Rejected Action: Ask him over and over ‘What’s wrong?’, Say, ‘It feels like you’re not pleased to see me’, Become needy, ask him to hug me, tell him I need love. Result: Keep pushing/annoying …

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Getting unstuck

This is my first time Asking a Coach, so I hope I get it right. Apologies for the length, I expect I will be able to ascertain my thoughts and convey my situation to others more concise and coherent the longer I’m in TFC. I have been working on my master’s thesis for a year …

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Goals

I started watching the model workshop from 4/19 with Maisie to know what to expect for today’s call, and in the first few minutes I realized I’ve been living in the land of confusion. I’ve been camped in confusion for quite a while; I’d say I’ve been in this space for a year and a …

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Tracking your cycle

Hi there, My period have stopped but I’m still ovulating, I know this as I’ve just had an internal scan. My question is how do I chart my cycle if my period have stopped?   Answer: Here at Ask A Coach, we offer coaching and this is a question rather than a coaching submission so …

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Over-responsability Family

I find myself triggered with an old model when I accompany my 4 year old to sleep in the evenings. Highly triggered when she was a baby and cried several hours in the evening, and now I’m triggered mostly when I’m not connected well with myself, tired, or having a list of unfulfilled needs. I …

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Other people thinking thoughts about me – Part 2 – Answers to further ask a coach question

My answers to questions are indicated with a ‘-‘ Great job with your models and noticing how different thoughts and feelings create the same actions. Notice that your focus in your unintentional model is guessing what to do to create a reaction out of him. You are checking his reaction to determine how he feels, …

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I don’t like myself

I joined the Flow Collective to take better care of myself and to change some of my harmful beliefs. For the last couple of weeks, I’ve been trying really hard to speak kindly to myself. I thought I was doing well until last night (post ovulation dip?) – I saw a video with me in …

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hyperthyroidism and job

Hey coaches, i have a few complex questions and would appreciate some initial input: I don’t know if I can or want to continue in my job. I’ve been struggling with it for years (I’m a stage designer at the theater) and just can’t get ahead. For the past 5 years I have had episodes …

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Accepting my body/size

Hi, I’ve just found a new UM that has been rearing its head and is pushing me off track, it’s a bit jumbled in my head at the moment. C Being clothes size X T I don’t want people to see me this size F Ashamed/Embarrassed A Avoid social situations A Default to laying on …

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Seasons and cycles

How much is the season and the weather affecting my cycle and hormones? I have spotting in the winter but now when the Summer is here the spotting is gone. I get easily cold in the winter (with cold hands and feet) and a Chinese medicine practitioner said that that contributes to my pms and …

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Performing during sex

I have noticed that I behave in a performative way when I’m intimate with my boyfriend. This issue used to be a lot worse with my last sexual partner – I suspect because I didn’t love him or feel safe with him (our relationship was long term but casual). The sex I have with my …

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Perimenopause

Just joined up with you and am feeling a little confused, doesn’t take much now! I have started to work through the videos but how do I track my cycle or whatever it is called when you are in Perimenopause. I still have all the Seasons you talk about but now I am 56 they …

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Holiday and stress/anxiety

Hello, I am going on holiday next Friday and I’m worried that when I’m away I won’t be able to enjoy my holiday because I’ll be stressing about things going on at home. I really want to coach myself with some thought work for how to cope with things that come up when I’m away …

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Boundaries and saying no

Hi This is something I really struggle with, and im not sure if it connected to my ADHD/Autism, but an incident this week has brought it to the front of my mind and I would love help in how to deal with it. Basically, another school mum I am quite friendly with stopped by for …

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GOAL challenges part 2

Thank you coaches for your response to part 1. It supported me to see that I was avoiding and resisting the uncomfortable feelings of the stress response. I wanted to remove the sensations, as historically feelings of extreme stress show up as digestive issues and skin flare ups. Before your reply, I had started to …

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Boundary or shadow work needed?

Hi there, thank you for this opportunity – it’s just so amazing that you’re offering this! A few words on the background: A few weeks ago I received a message from an old university friend. Back then we’ve had some great times together, but I always had the subtle feeling that she was kind of …

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Breast reduction and body image

I’d like feedback on the following. The unintentional models came out with very similar actions and I’m not sure if I need to come up with three re-framed/intentional models or if one (which I think covers all) is enough. Thanks in advance!   Unintentional models C: I had a breast reduction operation 3 weeks ago: …

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PART 2 after coaching; Finding a Goal/Intentional Model around strengthening my relationship.

PART 2 after coaching; Finding a Goal/Intentional Model around strengthening my relationship. Thank you for providing such helpful coaching providing several questions that gave me so much clarity exploring them. I even teared up feeling relieved that I can make this work and feeling the love I have for my partner. I explored the questions …

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Time as an obstacle

In my goal setting work I keep noticing time cropping up as an obstacle. I run my own business and have recently returned to work after maternity leave. My partner works full-time and I am the primary carer for our baby during the week. I have about an hour each morning and her nap times …

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Massive action week

Massive action week is looming and I am feeling a bit stuck with how to go about it. My goal that I set was to build a better relationship with myself and to feel comfortable in my body. My rocks are: 1. Find something to love about myself everyday that I can agree with. 2. …

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Massive Action on Having Fun

I’ve worked through the questions in Maisie’s email on preparation for massive action week. My goal is to get a new job offer (at least 30% salary increase and working 4 days a week) while continuing to have fun. My rocks are to apply for jobs, self-coach, and plan fun activities with friends and family. …

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Goal model help

I have created my intentional goal model and I am struggling to find some clear actions to help me reach the result. My goal has internal focus and I’m wondering how to make it more tangible. C: Goal of being free from the desire of attention/ validation from others. T: I am all I need …

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Decision making with moving

Hello lovely coaches! I’ve been procrastinating writing to you, as I have found it very difficult to put my thoughts and feelings into an actual question. I guess my question is how to find some more clarity about the thought of moving countries. I am Australian, and moved to Germany ten years ago to further …

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Goal Setting

I still haven’t managed to set a goal, and this has been causing me some anxiety. Today I had a bit of a breakthrough, though: I’m struggling to set a goal because I am already working towards two goals that I set at New Years. The first was to choreograph a handbalancing act and the …

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Models for Goals

Hello coaches, Initially I thought I had chosen a great goal – one that crosses many aspects of my life and will help with my overall wellbeing – my goal is to experience radical rest. Then my mind suggested that this goal is too easy and I should be striving for something active! But I’ve …

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Making Decisions

I have been finding it difficult to decide when my decision is impacting my children. I am feeling a lot of doubt and fear. I need to decide if I will continue to homeschool my children or if they will attend public school this fall. I have been making decisions including big life decisions (such …

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feeling over-responsible at work

I have been working for a small business which is in its very early stages and is having a few wobbles, financially. It is a very small team and I am essentially the right-hand woman for the director. The director herself has been having some personal challenges in relationships and the business has had a …

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Setting my goal

TW: weight loss Hello, I was part of the people who hadn’t managed to set a goal and after watching the model replay with Maisie – I think I have figured out why… I don’t have a cycle and have been told that if I lose a bit of weight (3 kilos) I might get …

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Not Feeling My Seasons

Hi coaches, I’m feeling frustrated and upset this week because everything I’m hearing and reading about the seasons of the cycle don’t really seem to reflect my experience of my own cycle. I was hoping to find that some of the mood swings and big emotions I feel in life were related to my cycle …

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How to stop comparing myself

My brother and sister in law always send my husband and us pictures of them out and about having fun and enjoying different experiences. They seem to go out a lot. I want to be happy for them but I end up comparing my life with theirs and feeling very inadequate as I’m not out …

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Finding my goal

Hi coaches! I have been back and forth all week with trying to find my goal. It’s not that I don’t have any.. it’s that I have many goals, and I have noticed I am putting a lot of pressure on myself to find ‘the right one’. I have moments when I think ‘Yes! this …

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Thought down load

Hi This is probably a simple question but I keep hearing about thought downloading. Could you explain what this is and a brief explanation of how and when to do it or please tell me where I would find this information. Sorry if I have put this in the wrong place Many thanks Answer: So …

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Productivity in Autumn

Hi, My goal for these next few months is to create a body of work. I already work as a creative in the music industry, but this project is going to be sole by myself for myself. I have found it challenging because my inner critic makes me doubt myself a lot, which again makes …

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Sensory Issues

Hi coaches! I have always had some sensory issues (hyper sensitive to certain sounds such as chewing, cutlery on plates, flicking fingernails) and I am just starting to connect these with my cycle. My coping strategies for when these sensations are happening are: trying to distract myself, telling myself it is the noise that is …

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Barrier to goal setting

Hi, I have a couple of really workable and exciting goals, connected to my business. However, I am trying to overcome a barrier I have created, to move forward with a goal. It may well be a goal itself. In a bid to be open and myself, before I aim to expand my business, I …

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Overwhelm

Hello. First of all, thank you so much for offering this amazing opportunity! I would love some help with a situation I currently experience with regard to my hobby. I’m a very passionate horse back rider. I love horses. I always feel so calm and grounded when I’m surrounded by them. I always ride the …

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Accepting body shape

Hi there, I have a history of disordered eating in my teens and twenties but got over it eventually. 10 years ago I decided to no longer obsess over food, and that has worked for me. I now eat well and regularly, and I exercise moderately. (Yay!) However, I can’t seem to let go of this life-long and …

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Setbacks

Hia. Since my youngest started school in October I decided to devote more time to my jewellery business and make it work as my job around being a mum to 3 kids. I made really good progress from October- Christmas and sold most of what I was able to make but for the last three …

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Dealing with the past

I joined TFC recently, finished reading Period Power and am now reading Perimenopause Power. I have known for a while I was perimenopausal and have since reading these come to realise I may have had ADHD and possibly Autism all my life, and PMDD since I was 11 – I am now 51. I have …

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Money expectation

Dear coach! I would love to get some of your thoughts on these models on money. I have written down others with the same C-line, and different thoughts and feelings. I decided to share these since I think they are really on the basis of what is going on. I am quite unsure about my …

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Money mindset (part 2)

Hi Coaches , so im bringing back and model to continue working on as i seem to have come back to my unintentional model again , this was my cleaned up model and advice i received. C: HV job 4 days/week, Coaching business T: I do not have enough time or money (Is this the …

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Cycle tracking on the Mirena IUD

Hi! I just joined and am very excited to be here. I’m familiarizing myself with all the content, modules, and calls, etc. But I’m having some doubts that I’m doing this “right”. Some background: Like many of us, throughout quarantine, I learned a lot about myself/my body. I learned that I am highly sensitive, and …

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Irregular periods

So I posted this up on the facebook feed but think I’d like some coaching with it. I have charted my cycle for years (more in depth in the past year) and have totally changed my lifestyle (over the past 7 years) to try and enable my cycles to become more regular, however in truth …

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Boundaries and parenting part 2

Boundaries continued… Thank you for your response to my query about withdrawing from my daughter. (03/14/2022) I have thought about the reason that I withdrew and in theory I can see that I attach too much meaning to her actions. The problem is that withdrawing at that point is to stop myself from expressing my …

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Boundaries and parenting

I am working on boundaries and am very new to the process. This morning I read a line in ‘perimenopause power’ that has really hit a nerve. On pg 164 Maisie is talking about her son climbing on her like a climbing frame and her reaction to this.   “When I do this, I’m letting …

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Fibromyalgia

Dear Coach! I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia about 6 months ago. I have noticed that I get more fatigue and pain during the autumn time of my month. Do any of you have any experiences coaching people wanting to harness their cycle while also working with chronic pain? I know the coaching itself will help …

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