Boundaries

Boundaries with my mum

I have recently set a boundary with my mum – I asked her not to ask me any more about my plans for baby/pregnancy for 6 months. I said that I would update her when there is something to update. Context: I had an ectopic pregnancy earlier in the year and have had a break …

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Mom Troubles

Hey there! Lately I’ve been having recurring problems with my mom. And I can’t seem to figure out how to apply the coaching model in these situations. Pls help. It’s situations like this: We currently live in the same flat. My mom, my two sons ( 4 and 1) and I. Often my mom will …

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Relationship with my mum

I am finding it increasingly hard to have a loving relationship with my mum. From an early age she suffered from what the doctors believed to be manic depression, but she has had many different diagnosis’ since. I believe, like me and my daughter, that my mother is autistic. Growing up, she was increasingly absent. …

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Tell boss too much to do

Hi, I really struggle to tell my boss when he’s pushing too much onto me. I never ask for help. It never even occurs to me to ask. How do I stop this negative cycle in my life?     Answer: You could start by noticing how you are telling this story about yourself. What …

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2 opposite mindests for a month

Dear lovely coaches, I’m driving myself crazy with my inability to understand what I think about a relatively new friend of mine. I noticed that before and during my period, when feeling the weakest, I see this person as requesting too much of my energy, difficult, triggering. I refused to text her or call her …

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Scheduling

at work, I was talking about scheduling a meeting with colleagues and I had a sudden headache, I felt cold and slightly sick. This is totally normal for me when it comes to scheduling conversations. It stresses me out so accutely and I want to get some coaching on it. I have done some models …

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Working less hours Part 3

I had a huge insight this week and after the coaching I got back from AAC. The reason I want to work less also has to do with me not believing I am capable of changing in my behaviours: taking more breaks, saying no more often, setting strong boundaries in work-time. When I imagine myself …

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Relationship with my mun

Hello, I would love some coaching on my relationship with my mum. In my 20’s we used to be so close and then since me having children in my 30’s it’s changed our relationship. I thought it would bring us closer – bonding over motherhood. But I feel this wedge between us on how differently …

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Fear of saying no and sex

Hi coaches. I’m back with something I’ve been coached on before that came up in today’s coaching call with Maisie and also because I’m entering autumn, when the fears and doom and gloom often start creeping in. I’ve been coached before about going into a stress response when I worry or think my partner is …

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Boundaries and when to say no

In January, I agreed to participate in a 10min roundtable discussing work that I was involved in. At the time, I asked the organiser to contact me in May to discuss plans and confirm participation. Last Friday, I received an email regarding the event and found that my contribution appears to be a 90min lecture …

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Not enough-ness

I am a cover teacher that has been working at the same school for the past 7 or so years (part time). I know and have a good relationship with the staff and students but have never felt ‘part of the team’. I am employed by an outside agency and my role at the school …

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Struggling with Whatsapp Part 3

I think my standards of social media are actually pretty high and that I feel like I can’t live up to that standards I have. The standards are: – Reply within maximum 1 day – Reply as soon as possible at important messages (other people sharings their emotions with me or invitations) – Sending birtday …

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Communication With my mum part2

Hi coaches, Thank you so much for your reply. It has been really interesting to question why I wanted “calm”. It’s kind of like saying feel nothing isn’t it? So what does calm really mean to me? I think in this context it means safe. On some level I feel threatened in this situation. When …

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Boundaries around illness

Hello, I am found myself in positions of care a few times in my life due to partners/friends/family members getting ill. I want to work on feeling confident that I have healthy boundaries around this. When I was younger I had an experience where I dropped everything to care for my partner at the time …

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Fanta Grape Vs Vape Part 2

When I think about how my husband should behave I think he should act in a way that he wants to act, do the things he wants to do (which would be him being true to himself). I also think he should take care of himself and see his health as an investment in our …

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Taking care of my niece

Hi Coaches! My sister has asked me if I can take care of my niece in a couple of weeks, so that she and her husband can go to a friend’s birthday party in the evening. Apart from not fitting into my schedule, there is something else that comes up: I feel kind of scared …

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Being mocked

Hi I would like some help on a recurring situation with the people I work with. As I started writing this, I realise I have done so much work processing the difficult emotions over this past year every time the situation arises and made the effort to actually honor my own personhood and growth! I’m …

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Boundaries

I’m only slowly understanding what boundaries really are: 1. Expressing where they are, 2. stating consequences of what’s going to happen if they’re not respected. 3. Acting if necessary. I am struggling mightily with the acting on the consequences part. For most of my life it’s worked pretty well for me to “walk away”. But …

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Toxic mother and mother in law

I just reflected for probably the 100th time to my husband that one of the hardest parts of parenting so far (3years in) has been, grandparents, and specifically, our mothers. Both of them have patterns of seeking validation through the external and it does not seem as though they feel they are worthy. The way …

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boundaries in polyamory

Dear coaches, I am in a polyamorous relationship and through a huge miscommunication, my partner thought I didn’t want to know about any of his activities outside of our relationship. This is not true and I feel I had been clear about it, so it came as quite a shock to me when I found …

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Writing Processes 2

Thank you for your response: it was so inspiring and fun to apply! You were right and I never thought thinking about perfectionism could be fun… I love it here! [What do you think that it means about you that you shouldn’t be taking that long?]- I’m not smart enough; I’m not good enough; I’m …

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[Our triangle with my bf and my friend, expressing disappointment to my friend- communicating with my friend about visiting my boyfriend in Mexico – part 3]

Dear coach, That was great coaching indeed. I actually watched it twice soon after watching it online 🙂 Giving love and letting them be is definitely what would be good for me and my relationships. I think there is a fear thought there saying “If I listen too much to their fears, and limiting beliefs”, …

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April Goal (Time) pt.2

Thank you for your coaching, it was so helpful! It has allowed me to realise what the next step is. Ok, so. I want my relationship with time to be abundant! And present. Yes I am busy, but I am busy with lots of things I have fought and wished for. So I want to …

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Drinking Alcohol Pt.2

Thanks for your response (see below) In answer to your question ‘why do you say yes to glasses of wine when you don’t really want to?’ I think in all honesty, there is a part of me that does want to – I want the ‘escape’ that alcohol brings. I have recently found out that …

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Worrying about others

I’m staying with my family right now and one thing I’m noticing is I worry A LOT about my sister. She barely ever has sex with her partner and I worry it will destroy their relationship long-term. She’s not eating protein for breakfast and I worry it will affect her blood sugar levels and that …

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Sharing My Opinion Online Pt. II

Thank you so much for all of your coaching – I’ve written out my answers and some follow-up questions here: I think the value of others sharing opinions they worry are triggering or polarizing is that often they’re sharing a unique or new perspective that helps people consider things differently and in a way that …

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Concern for my sibling

My sister had a hard upbringing (she didn’t live with me) and this has caused her lots of emotional, financial and relational difficulties in life, to put it lightly. She seems to always choose men who aren’t good for her and often ends up in very toxic relationships which is difficult to watch. She is …

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April Goal (Time)

I have decided that a good April goal for me would be to change my relationship to time. My current relationship has many facets, some of them are: Everyone is entitled to my time, I am obligated to give it to them, time is something I have to get as much out of and this …

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[Our triangle with my bf and my friend, expressing disappointment to my friend- communicating with my friend about visiting my boyfriend in Mexico- PT 2. ]

Hello dear coach, I loved this part you said “If the goal is to get her to change her behavior, I’d suggest holding off on having the talk. “ I definitely wanted to insert some dominance there, mark my territory, etc. It was a good opportunity for me to realize that if two common friends …

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recovering from burnout

Hi coaches! I am recovering from what I believe is a burnout, that had been building up over the past years. I now feel so much better already, but I still have to be very protective of my energy. I notice that when I put a little too much on my plate, I relapse quite …

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Sharing my opinion online

I want to say something on my new migraine social media account sharing my perspective as someone with migraine on how the fact that there’s no cure for migraine is not a helpful thing for the migraine community to keep repeating. However, I keep seeing migraine advocates posting about how they don’t want unsolicited advice …

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Life Uncertainty

I had quite a clear plan for the coming year which involved staying in my current apartment/location and starting trying to conceive towards the end of the year, maybe moving to the UK at a later date. I don’t want to be in my current location long-term but I had made peace with staying there …

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Passionate Hatred

What should I do if I hate someone with a fiery passion? I would prefer not to get into specifics, so let’s assume, for the sake of argument, that I’m not wrong to hate him, he’s a genuinely horrible person. Luckily this person is no longer in my day to day life and I am …

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Friends Fallout

Hi there! I’m hoping you might be able to help me manage my mind’s thoughts about what’s going on between two friends in my friend group who have fallen out. For one friend (I’ll call her friend A) I feel deeply for as I recognise similar neglect, abuse and poverty patterns in her childhood to …

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Mindless entertainment

Hi, my life is full on with work, child and health. A lot of time very overbearing. I know I use watching TV as an escapism (almost addictive), but I know there are other things that would help me more. I even signed up for this course to help me re-focus my energy and get …

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Struggling under pressure

I’m feeling quite stressed and know that I am in a sympathetic nervous system response. I have a project that I am doing, which I have to do on top of my full time work and childcare work. I have a deadline for this project and it is something I am committed to an external …

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