Dating/Relationships/Sex/Sexuality

Overresponsibility Part 2

Yes I am alone in this already.. I feel lonely because friends don’t understand it and my husband will leave me alone on this planet so I don’t feel connected to him about it. What I would like to experience in our relationship while he is alive is fun and pleasure. We tend to be …

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Overresponsiblity Part 2

Yes I can see that the burden of keeping my husband alive makes my life terrible. But my brain goes into discussion with you: ‘My life is even more terrible if I could prevented him from dying and I did nothing!!’ When I think I am in charge of his stress levels I notice my …

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Building trust in loving again

Hi, I attended the fix what’s broken workshop last week, and it bought up some interesting things for me. One theme was that I realised my trust in love is somewhat broken. I had an on off relationship which ended in march, after three years. When we were together for the first year and half, …

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Communicating my wants in bed

This is my first model! C – I didn’t say some words T – why can’t I communicate my wants in bed F – shame S – smallness, shrinking A – withdraw from my partner, go into my head, ruminate, worry about our sex life, blame myself for not communicating my wants in bed, shame …

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Fear of being alone

Hello. I have been single for about 2 years and in the past, I hadn’t constantly had a partner in my life. However, my close friends group have a good partnerships (as far as I can observe) and at times, it makes me feel like that I am alone. I have an understanding that they …

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Seperation

My partner of almost 15 years, married >2 left me what felt like very suddenly a few months ago. No chance for remedy just “the end”had done all the communication and deciding internally and I wasn’t involved in the process at all. Since he moved out I haven’t seen him for over two months now. …

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self-love and other people

I noticed during yesterday’s call that while the work on loving and accepting myself over the past year has paid off in the way that I believe I am lovable and enough just as I am, I still don’t believe other people would see me that way. In a way, my mind turned the clean …

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Sex Frequency

I have a lot of “shoulds” about how frequently I have sex with my partner. I have this idea in my mind that ideally we should have sex at least once per week, and when I fall short of that expectation I beat myself up about it. I’ve been thinking like this ever since we …

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Obsessing about differences

Hi coaches, thank you for the wonderful work you do! I think my brain has been focussing on ways in which me and my partner are different and making this a problem. This pattern has been exacerbated since having a child. Here are some examples: One of the things I focus on is that he is …

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my first model

Hello! Here is my first model: I struggle with romantic relationships and have been single for the majority of my life. Last week, someone I felt attracted to (about 10 months ago when we worked together) texted me and asked me to have lunch together. He is in a relationship. 
C: he asked me to …

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Shame triggers abound!

Hi Coaches, I’ve been seeing someone new, and I notice that a lot of things they say trigger shame in me. I think I am already in a state of anxiety and shame about dating, but I am also feeling really unsettled by the prospect of liking someone and hoping that the feeling is mutual. …

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Feeling chosen

I have identified some long held thoughts that are impacting my self-worth around relationships. The first is that I consider myself a ‘filler’ or ‘placeholder’. I read these terms in some romance stories. They referred to three categories of women that men look for. When they are young they want women to ‘have some fun …

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Dead End

I am currently feeling a huge sense of loss, almost like grief. It is affecting my motivation with my business and in my personal life. I think this is because I have realised I have developed quite strong feelings for a man I can’t have (we are actually both married) and I feel a sense …

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Processing a divorce

Hi coaches, my partner of eleven years and I split up over a year and a half ago and because of some admin faff the divorce has not yet been fully finalised. I notice that I am holding a lot of tension about it and that I react very strongly whenever my ex-partner sends a …

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Dating and Self-Worth Part 2

Update: I messaged him and he never responded!! I’ve officially been ghosted. I was shocked at first, but it’s been five days and I can honestly say that I am already moving on from that experience as I’m quite clear on the thought “this has everything to do with him and nothing to do with …

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Honouring my ‘yes’

Hey coaches, I have relistened the podcast with ‘ honoring your yes’s and no’s’ and I really spoke to me in this situation. My partner and I said yes to trying to have a baby. I said a very sure yes in trying to have a baby because I have done some coaching the past …

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Being annoyed by Partner

Hey Coaches! I am working on a model about a classic situation where my partner chews loudly and eats fast, which makes me feel annoyed. UNINTENTIONAL: C: Partner chews loudly T: That is gross F: Disgusted A: Ask him to stop eating so fast A: Get angry at him A: Leave the room in a …

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Fear of saying no and sex

Hi coaches. I’m back with something I’ve been coached on before that came up in today’s coaching call with Maisie and also because I’m entering autumn, when the fears and doom and gloom often start creeping in. I’ve been coached before about going into a stress response when I worry or think my partner is …

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Relationship – Work and Money

Hello, 🙂 I have started writing this so many times over the months and then I never send it. I’m struggling with my relationship with my partner. We barely fight, he’s very supportive of me. It’s a money/ work thing. I’ve always earned more than him, been a ‘harder worker’ and honestly more motivated. It …

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Sexual Desire

I’m in a relationship for 7 years, and just as we got serious I had a hormonal IUD fitted, at the begining we were having sex every day all the time and I really felt sexual but after I while things started to dial down and when we hit the pandemic I was on my …

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