Hi, There have been some unexpected changes at my work in the last week. It’s all been quite a lot to process – and I notice that I’m in a stress response, on the verge of panic mode around it. Which actually I think is a fair enough response to go through! And I’ve been …
Hi dear coaches, Just today I heard from a colleague who is a bit more senior than me that she is at the last step of a big application grant. I told her I am really excited for her and that I will be there when she presents it asking for feedback. Her response sort …
Colleague submitting a funding proposal with a theme close to mine Read More »
Work is currently really stressfull with talk of cuts, closure, cutting hours and potential redundancy. It feels like theres is lot so weight and responsibility on my shoulders in terms of what i could have done to have meant the charity was in a stronger position financial. I’m beating myself a lot and feeling really …
Dear coaches, I just realized something quite big and need your help with making progress with it. Basically i`ve been fighting procrastination for quite some time and its been going well, but not really. And just now I realized that a lot of it has to do with not having a safe space when doing …
Thank you. The coaching I got was: “Let’s keep going with this thought about humans being a part of Mother Nature/nature itself. If you respect nature a lot, and human being are a part of it, what does that mean about humans and their value or their inherent respectability?” The answer my brain came up …
Hi coaches, I would like some help on an evaluation of my self-care Situation: I really wanted to apply for a job, but realised that I also really need rest and the application I could produce with the energy resources I had left probably wouldn’t be satisfying for me. I decided *not* to apply, but …
Evaluating self-care vs opening opportunities for myself Read More »
Dear coaches. In my first submission, this was what C: Decisions T: I will ruin my life if I don’t find the right path to follow F: Numb S: Is there a sensation in your body in these times? A: Tell myself, “I’m not good at adulting, I don’t know what is right for me,” make …
Please can you help me with a model I am working on. I would like to created an intentional model where the result is me practising self-love at work. The unintentional model I have so far is: C – Communicating information/providing an update in a team meeting and I got lots of questions and comments …
Hi coaches, I’ve been going through a challenging period for the past three months, I’m currently on a two-week leave from work. I’m returning on Friday which I’m feeling mixed emotions so I reached out to my manager regarding retuning to work. She was very supportive letting me know that she will be taking me …
I am currently covering another role that involves preparing materials and running meeting as well as using digital platforms to support the running of events. This is a role that I have no official time for and often end up doing things at night. Lately, I have made a few mistakes which are really embarrassing …
Yes I can see that the burden of keeping my husband alive makes my life terrible. But my brain goes into discussion with you: ‘My life is even more terrible if I could prevented him from dying and I did nothing!!’ When I think I am in charge of his stress levels I notice my …
Hi, Thanks for your coaching on the career side of things below – I found that super helpful! I wanted to come back to family conversations side of things, too, as I had a recent convo with my mum about my career. She made a comment about how I never talk about it with her. …
Conversations With Family Around My Career – part 3 Read More »
Hi coaches, I feel completely out of sorts. We have recently moved house to a different part of the country, but my partner and I are having to travel up and down during the week to London. It feels like a life is in two places. Our friends in our life is in London, but …
Dear AAC, I’ve just finished watching the self love webinar and wanted to share something that has been showing up for me this week . I was in a meeting at work earlier this week and asked a colleague a question which appeared to be misinterpreted. I backed down from the point I was making …
Hello coaches! Good to be here again I am going to have a crazy month at work where the load is going to be massive, and I just got a promotion that also means more responsibilities and more close work with my boss. I like her as a person but I am aware we have …
Dear coaches! Honestly, I don’t really know what to do with your response to my initial question. In your answer you ask me to take a view on my current situation as if I was 90 years old. And it really just makes me even more sad. I don’t want to look back at my …
I am beginning to express when I’m not happy about something in my relationships, at work and also in my romantic relationship. This is a fairly new thing for me, I am trying to be more aware of when I am feeling hurt, upset or angry about things that people have said or done rather …
Dear AAC. This is my first time writing to ask a coach. I have been “saving up” questions, or thinking they had to be totally clear, perfectly defined, but here I go; a lot of information and messy imperfect action! This autumn I found myself completely numbed out by decision making. I was between two …
Thank you for your answer. The thought “life is 50/50 and I decide where my focus goes” has been serving me really well (in all areas of my life). It’s been also helpful to bring my fears to the surface. It has all been going quite well recently. Yesterday, I had an actually really nice …
I have been dipping my toes into the feelings I have during dance lessons (Judged, Ashamed and a sprinkle of desperation) Here are two models I have come up with, including the one you suggested in the last response. C: Dance workshop T: These people are not openly welcoming F: Judged. S: Tensed, Out-of-body . …
Part II: Imputed judgyness and self-absorbtion of others make ME being judgy Read More »
Last night, I hit rock bottom when a fight with my 5 year old escalated so badly that I literally slammed a door in her face. Fortunately, it only hit her forehead and physically, it was not too bad, but I completely lost my shit afterwards (obviously before, too). My partner managed to comfort her …
Escalating situations with my child and being more compassionate Read More »
Hi coaches – I’m struggling with my thoughts about my living situation and connected to that are some thoughts about my partner. The circumstance is that I’m renting a place which I invited my partner to share with me and contribute to financially as much as he felt able to. I subsequently asked him to …
Thank you for your coaching. Based on that I made a new model. Actually 2 models. 1 for in between and the end model I want to be in. Have you feedback on them? UM: C: People are saying things like: ‘O my god it is already november, I can’t believe this! I am shocked!’ …
Activated/triggered by people saying time goes quickly Part 2 Read More »
I had a situation earlier today while I was driving where I was going relatively fast approaching a green light when it changed amber. I decided that I was going too fast to safely stop, but as I past the lights I noticed that people were already moving with intention to cross. Seconds later and …
A close call while driving, loving myself through a mistake Read More »
Hi coaches, I was working on the prompts from the self-love workshop and noticed that I am judging myself because I can’t do all of the following things at the same time: – living off-grid (means chopping wood, carrying water, using minimal electricity, so chores take longer) – care for a very active dog (ca …
I wrote a poem after my grandpa died that my mum read at his funeral. My mum added some of her own commentary to the poem and in a line where I wrote about his stubble, she said he would have been sorry about that because he liked to be smooth shaven. I felt bad …
Thank you. If I am honest I find it hard to see that it is a negativity bias playing it’s role here. I am open to exploring this further but feel real resistance. I don’t want to close my eyes for the reality. I asked myself: ‘But what is reality anyway?’ And I came up …
starting the self love journey. doing my first prompt on: what does it feel like when you choose not to love yourself? it feels like confimration. giving in to the truth. it seems true that i am not worth being loved/deserving love, therefor not doing so is how it is supposed to be. why? because …
This is my first AAC post – I’m doing this as a commitment to my self-love journey. I have achieved quite a few big goals recently and had some unexpected wins. One of these (buying a house) is something I’ve been working towards for 12 years. In the space of two days I also got …
Thank you very much for your answer. What I make it mean about myself is this: “it doesn’t matter what I do”. And I think this is a thought that’s been there for a really long time. My brother got a lot of support from my father in particular, mocked / bullied me for my …
Thoughts About My Brother’s Career And Life Pt II Read More »
Thank you for coming back to me with some guidance and insightful questions on this. I’ve been asking myself what I make it mean when my Mum and I disagree and then don’t bring it up again, and I think I make it mean that we don’t have a good relationship, which if I’m honest …
I’ve been having thoughts about how getting coached on a flow collective call. Watching other people get coached I can see that being able to have a full conversation must really help to fully unpick an issue and I think that could really help me, but then I talk myself out of even trying. Some …
Thoughts about being coached on a flow collective call Read More »
Feeling very vulnerable sharing openly here but it’s my first weekly commitment to do so. Completing the self love assessment raised lots of questions in my mind. I’d like to share it all to give a full picture. An interesting note in contrast to these questions – I completed the 25 thing I like/love about …
Hi, Thanks for your coaching here! This was v helpful, and I can see that this is all part of a wider approach to how I approach dating now that I’m looking for a relationship. Where I’m having fun with it and believing that it can be easy – not something hard and impossible and …
Approaching dating with a rigid idea of my ‘type’ – and how to change this – PART 2 Read More »
Hi coaches! So I’ve noticed this thing lately which comes up regarding saying no, asking for things and taking up space. Today I went to the hairdresser cause I wasn’t happy the first time around, so they had to correct it. I felt guilty for going back almost the whole time. I also recently “rejected” …
Hi, I’m a new member and I took the recommendation from Maisie on a good day tripper goal as I feel this would be a great first goal and I would really like to have a better relationship with myself and be kinder to myself My Autumn goal is to create a compassionate relationship with …
Hey coaches, i have one of those low hormone late autumn days. My thoughts circle around and I struggle to steer the wheel into other directions. I keep thinking about everything and anything I do today how it is not “enough”. Here is one example model: C: At work | T: I am not getting …
I realised recently that I have had a strange yearning for a motherly figure in my life for a long time. In the past I looked to teachers, later even female bosses to fill something. It has been quite overwhelming and limiting but it’s only recently I have been able to identify what’s going on. …
Hi team, I can’t quite believe that I am asking this. My 10 year relationship is in trouble. This is at least partly for reasons out our control. My partners father passed away unexpectedly and it was very traumatic. She is an only child and has made the decision to move to Italy to look …
Heartbreak/long distance relationship/long relationship Read More »
Hi coaches, I currently live in a really nice, spacious flat that I absolutely love and that has got everything that I ever wanted in a flat. It’s airy, I can dance around in it, the light is gorgeous, it has a little terrace and garden. I really, really love it. It is, however, very …
Hi! I am writing down some stories that have been ruling my brains for some time (my autumn goal!). I find it interesting to see how my brain is taking its conclusions. The thought ‘I am lazy’ comes up a lot so that’s why I searched for the proof that my brain is providing for …
Hi coaches, thank you for the wonderful work you do! I think my brain has been focussing on ways in which me and my partner are different and making this a problem. This pattern has been exacerbated since having a child. Here are some examples: One of the things I focus on is that he is …
Thank you. I’ve had a difficult reaction to it, mostly the suggestion to change my result line to ‘you make life harder for yourself’. I felt angry and upset at that, as it landed as very self-critical and (for me) destructive. I have a lifetime habit of self-criticism and being really unkind to myself, which …
I’m looking for some ideas for how I can coach myself through some issues surrounding food that I have become aware of in recent years, particularly since becoming a mum. I don’t consider myself to he someone that has issues around food because I love to eat, I don’t limit or restrict myself and certainly …
I went through a very traumatic and drawn-out breakup with my ex last year (very much his decision to leave), someone who I still love deeply – we were both undiagnosed ND at the time and he’s avoidant whilst I’m more anxious, all of which played a big role. I experienced a breakdown in my …
My ex, my neurodiversity, being loved, and new men Read More »
Breastfeeding sucks I don’t want to do it anymore is sore and I’m tired and fed up being woken up twice a night and scr amed at it’s so fucking shit I just want to stop I’m going to stop I’m going to night wean and be done with it all it’s not good for …
Thank you for your answer. I actually have a win to report 🙂 At the beginning of the week, I had a meeting with this colleague and another colleague. Before the meeting, I did some self-coaching and decided on my goals and how I wanted to show up in this meeting. I stayed very calm, …
Hello coaches, I’m starting to do some model work and I’m finding it difficult to know how to use it for the thoughts I’m having in the middle of the night. At certain times in my cycle, or when I’m feeling particularly stressed about something, I’ll wake in the middle of the night in fight …
I’ve had a situation with a colleague and friend in the last six weeks. She started ignoring me at work (I think because she had some issues in the friendship – but she didn’t communicate this to me, only one message saying ‘you realise you only ever message me now when you want something’ and …
Hi, my mother in law is staying with me for nine weeks and I’m really not coping well. Context of this (rather lengthy, sorry) is that my husband found out at the start of the year he would be away for work for 8 weeks (Army). We have two young kids (6 and 3). I …
I am finding it increasingly hard to have a loving relationship with my mum. From an early age she suffered from what the doctors believed to be manic depression, but she has had many different diagnosis’ since. I believe, like me and my daughter, that my mother is autistic. Growing up, she was increasingly absent. …
Hi, Thank you for your coaching here, super helpful! A lot resonated with me. The concept of someone else’s opinion being my circumstance line – so applicable to all other parts of my life. And the thought that neither me or her were supposed to do anything other than what has been and is – …
Abandonment of creativity in myself and my mum – part 2 Read More »
What is wrong with me? There’s nothing wrong with me, but I am struggling to function like I used to/how my commitments require me to, so I suppose I am operating on expectations of myself from a place where I’m not at now, but some times I can fulfil them and sometimes I can’t, which …
How have I created space to feel my emotions? So I have been seeing a therapist for the last 3.5 years, which is a space. In-between I make a point to let the cries out when they need to come and not tell myself that I shouldn’t be crying. It’s the compassion love and space …
Around 4 years ago I decided to move from the countryside to London and it was an exciting move. One of my best friends had secured a job in London and I wanted to follow suit so I applied in the same place as them and also got a job. So we were all set …
A school friend who I have not seen or spoken to in over a decade was/is keen to meet up after I reached out on Facebook. When she said she needed to talk to me about something and get advice I suspected it was to do with problems in her second marriage and after having …
Thank you so much for your answer. I love the R line you suggested for the intentional model. I really like the idea of using this whole process of publishing my thesis to come to terms with the period during which I worked on my PhD thesis. At the moment, I often waive it off …
I have had quite alot of stress regarding my sons adhd temperament. One episode in particular has triggered me into a pit. This was a month ago. I have sat in the despair and been very gentle with myself however I cannot stop crying I am exhasted all the time and I gradually feel like …
Hi, I have been meaning to write about this for so long, but have put it off telling myself its too messy and confusing, but I could really use some help on this! Basically I am a creative, and last year I really needed some more income to support myself as being in the music …
Coming back for coaching on this again many months later… Reading back to the previous two coaching responses on this, you’re absolutely right that my reasons for exercising are like a mum trying to get a child to eat vegetables because they’re “good for you”! I don’t feel motivated or committed to doing more exercise …
I’m finding the interaction when someone offers me food I don’t want to eat (specifically here chocolate/sweet things) tricky. These days, I try to avoid highly sweet/processed foods, as I have identified them as a big trigger for my PCOS and IBS symptoms. I’ve noticed that people love to offer these exact foods, frequently! I …
A people pleasing behaviour that’s hard to shift Read More »
Mum died Feb My van (which I rely on to be able to do my job smoothly) broke down in June, and the garage that tried to repair it hasn’t managed to fix the problem that arose after, and have been difficult to communicate with – basically it seems like my van is bottom of …
Hi, I’ve just listened to the model mastery recording and the homework was to share your model on the FB group, or ask a coach, so here it is… Some context: I’ve just spend the past two weeks on holiday with my parents. We live in different countries so it was a lovely way to …
Thank you for your answer. In the long term, I want to change my circumstance. The project ends anyway so there will be changes. However, I want to / have to / will work together with them for a few more months. And I would love to pick up your suggestion and make it more …
Oh. My. God. Your answer really blowed my mind! Positive and negative. I feel SO uncomfortable and SO excited but I will take responsiblity for my own emotions here 😉 (Of course). My brain was expecting (subconcious I guess because I didn’t think of it when sending it, but now it shows me it does) …
Relationship With My E-Mail Inbox At Work Part 2. Read More »
I received the news yesterday that my mom has a tumor in her adrenal gland and metastases that have spread to her hip bone (and it looks likely to be even worse than that, but the proper diagnosis is still outstanding). As I’m moving through massive waves of sadness and feeling scared, which I’m allowing …
I would like to distinguish or determine who‘s pain I am feeling, so that I’ll be able to address this properly and finally move forward. (But since maybe I‘m stuck, I‘ll give you the background) I have 2 sisters (sister A lives abroad has children, sister B lives an hour away, no children), a brother …
Thanks for your feedback. Yes, my R-line is probably that I reinforce my thoughts. I thought about what having my own back around meeting friends would be and came up with this list: – Going away when feeling I need to be alone and rest – Being honest about my preferences – Not promising anything …
I am quite active in setting up new things at work for the community, and I’d applied to set up a new initiative. This was around a topic which some people in the workplace find controversial, but it’s not really at all. I guess some people have sensitivities about it. The initiative was rejected by …
Hello, I would love some help. I have submitted and defended my PhD thesis almost three years ago. Now I need to publish my PhD thesis since it is a formal requirement to publish the thesis. I’ve even made space in my schedule for this task. However, I find it so difficult to start. I’m …
Hi coaches, thank you. To try to answer the questions: What do you think is the best way to take care of you when you’re in an episode of anxiety? What resources do you have that may be more appropriate than coaching to address this? Focus on rest, self care and being with my closest …
So my goal is to raise my self worth and my rocks are to love myself and my life as it is, celebrate my wins and do thought work. It was going really well at home I feel like it was starting to create the shift that I’d hoped for and I had even started …
I have been shopping for new clothes since moving here which I haven’t been able to do in years. Living in China, there weren’t many options. The brands available were limited and the clothes were often too young or trendy for my taste. I was often faced with changing my style and feeling ‘not me’ …
Thank you so much for your answer. I thought about the different aspects you mentioned: How do you feel when you think about taking Mondays off? Well, I’ve already asked for Mondays off until the end of the year, and surprisingly, I encountered very little resistance. The upcoming Monday is my first Monday off. I …
Thanks for your coaching. I already made some changes in my behaviour towards this app. I look only in the morning at it. It gives me rest. My thought around it is: ‘I only look in the morning.’/’The rest of the day I can let it go.’ You ask about what makes me think messages …
“I wonder if you can build a bit of space for you to experience your emotions into your missed days so you’re able to just be and feel the things that come up for you and then move into regulation and realistic planning. What do you think about that? If you like it, how would …
Dear coach, While I was setting my goals for this season I realized that I chose a trekker/ hiker pace although some might think I have many projects on my plate (new job, learning a new language, applying for citizenship, planning a 3m overseas trip with partner and friends, getting my health back after years …
[setting my goals keeping in mind of cycles burning out in the past] Read More »
Dear coach, I recently gifted myself a fully remote job with lots of flexibility & benefits and I quite enjoy the job after years in academia and years of burnout cycles. Thanks to the time hackers, I have been feeling much better about slowing down and taking time off, most importantly starting the work day …
My goal is to become a migraine recovery coach. I’ve started a coaching training course and I’ve also registered for a certification that will take 5 weeks to complete between early October and early November and will take 5-6 hours each week. Meanwhile I have an Instagram account for sharing tips on migraine recovery that …
Hey there! Not that long ago I was coached by Masie on a call about recurring situations regarding my partner and my feelings towards him. It turned out that my main feeling was anger and that I felt like feeling angry was “not ok” or made me a “bad mother” or a “bad person” in …
Thank you for your kind response, it has really helped. On one hand I think its okay and understandable that I’m angry about these situations, it just means I’m a normal human going through a shitty, trying time. On the other, I think the anger seeping out into everything is unhelpful, it upsets other people …
Thank you for your birthday wishes and your answer. It was my birthday yesterday. It was a really nice day. Before the day, I decided that my birthday doesn’t have to be perfect and that the number of messages I receive doesn’t mean so much. I was a bit emotional in the morning but didn’t …
Hi coaches. I want to get coaching on something that happened today/yesterday and sometimes happens to me. Maybe it’s cycle related and I don’t feel its a major issue because I know it always passes. But I’d like some help with it. Yesterday I woke up a bit sad and decided that was ok and …
Thought download – The Christmas dress has started. I hate the consumerism of Christmas. I can’t stand the over consumerism of Christmas. I feel that people buy unnecessarily and this sets my brain on fire. Cheap Chinese Amazon presents that break. Now I have children it’s worse and questions about presents come from everywhere. I’m …
Hello lovely coaches, So, I need some help with my Autumn goal. I have thought for a month or so that it would be something about my nervous system (I still don’t know what that is!) or about noticing and acknowledging my emotions. This is because I often just ‘do’ and not ‘be’. (Long story, …
Goal – something about getting in touch with my feelings! Read More »
Thanks coaches. I have left the cleaning in the past due to studying and working at the same time. This led to infestations – mice, ants, fruitfly, black mould. I use the home to see clients for therapy, so it’s important that the home is presented well to clients. It’s good to be reminded that …
Hey coaches, My summer goal was to ‘find out what I want from life’. And I found out a lot. Mostly things I don’t want in my life anymore. So I had a good tidy up. And now with all the free space , I see constantly new opportunities where my life could take me. …
I’m thinking through an engagement that just happened on my morning walk with my new dog today. I’m especially trying to name and figure out what emotion I’m feeling, in light of the podcast episode about guilt that aired this week. C: my dog pooped on the lawn of a nearby apartment; a woman on …
Thought download: I resigned from my job this week. I finished a 10 week training with the company back in June which I was paid to do. I’d then had to interview with various clients in hopes to get placed on site for two years as a consultant. I was scared resign, unsure if I …
I’ve had some mixed feeling about body hair and the removal of body hair. Tried a few models. I am quite new to models and find myself struggling with result line the most. C: I don’t shave but get an occasional leg, bikini and underarm wax T: I don’t know if this fits with my …
Hello – I have been struggling with a lot of anxiety in my relationship recently. It is my first relationship, and the move from ‘honeymoon phase’ to us both as real and complex and flawed people in a relationship has been hard for me. When I feel insecure (which only really started happening after the …
Hi, I had a breakup 6 months ago. It wasn’t a straight forward one, because we weren’t actually together officially – and had broken up a year and a half before that. But stayed in touch, on and off, and been exploring whether to get back together etc. In the end, he said he didn’t …
Hello coaches! Me and my boss have very different ways of working, and this morning she put a message in the work group chat that made me feel really guilty. But the more I thought worked it, the more anger I felt about being made to feel guilty. Now, I’ve been here long enough to …
Hello!:) I have done a model on the dynamic I am playing out at home. I wanted to ask for feedback on the model, please, and potentially help with some ladder thoughts I could work on. Taking responsibility for the emotions of my mother was our main family focus growing up, so I think I …
Hello. I am a freelance illustrator (20 years in). Recently I have been working for a brilliant agency who have given me fairly consistent work. They are under substantial financial pressure due to a tax bill and being a B corp. this aside. The main illustrator now lives abroad and this meant that a lot …
Exploring answering these worst case questions has definitely made them less scary and reassured me that even if the worst happens, very quickly I had an answer for each of them. Knowing that was without much time and without reaching out to close friends/family for support/discussion, also reinforced that even if I were to get …
Hi Coaches, Im practising my first few models here on a situation that I find very tough. I have been not working for a year now due to Burnout. At the end of the year my benefits will run out and as I have been feeling a little better I am craving some routine, normality …
I’d like to know if you have any advice on accessing my vulnerability while dysregulated so I can communicate my needs. I was trying to put away groceries with my partner, and he was assisting with me pouring nuts into a bag. He was the one holding the bag and I was the one pouring. …
Communicating with spouse while dysregulated and trying tu do chores Read More »
C: I organised an event alone for my day-job which I found stressful and depleting. T: I don’t feel good about myself in my day-job. F: Trapped S: My heart beats faster, I feel a tightness in my body. My jaw becomes tight and I find myself clenching my fists. My movements become clumsy and …
Hi Coaches 🙂 I’ve just caught up from the Model Mastery Back to Basics course and wanted to share my model for feedback. TDL: On Sunday morning I’d planned to do yoga in the evening but I didn’t end up doing it. I’d planned to start the Yoga with Adriene October series which started Sunday, …