Friends/Social

Friendships and Hosting

C – My friend suggested I spend an unpaid day off work with her and her three kids. I explained due to the tube strike it would be difficult for me to meet her to which she responded she would come over to a location close to me. T – She is bringing her kids …

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I moved to where I live one year ago, with the idea to stay until 2024, or later. After one year, I am not happy living here. I have loving friends and there’s many positive things about this place, there’s things I could work on improving, but my body simply craves being somewhere else. Where …

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Learning to be more assertive

Hello I’d love some coaching on this one. Reecently, while sorting out my folder of flow collective and other personal development stuff I came across some information on assertive, passive and aggressive communication styles given to me by a therapist a while back, and I was surprised that to me the assertive examples seemed like …

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Not Feeling Emotionally Safe

Hello Ask A Coach, I recently completed an unintentional model that revealed a much bigger core belief. I felt like I was able to address the thought in the model but got a little stuck with addressing the core belief. UM C: Invited to an event with new friends T: I don’t know what to …

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Management Challenges

This is probably going to need to be a series because there’s a lot to unpack in this one… I hired someone into my team three years ago and have had a lot of challenges with them ever since – they have difficulty meeting deadlines, trouble prioritizing, work needs a lot of revisions when it’s …

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overwhelm at work

I work in a primary school where the children can work individually, which involves much more spontaneity and individual support/help. Today school started again after the holidays. At noon when we’ve eaten all together I’ve got really emotional and asked, if it’s okey, that I take a bit of time for myself and have eaten …

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Losing Weight Part 3

I’ve been on a journey with my weight since joining the Flow Collective six months ago and I believe I’ve made some progress in unlearning much of the body hatred I’ve carried around (as shown in my two previous Ask a Coach queries). I still am not able to make enough time for yoga as …

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Envy and Scarcity Mindset Part II

No questions here really, just wanted to follow up and thank you for the helpful response (and the immediate positive results!). The situation came up again and I thought I felt envy toward a friend’s engagement plans. Instead of talking smack about myself for feeling envy, I got curious and asked “what does this signify”? …

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Envy and Scarcity Mindset

Lately, I’ve been noticing a pattern that I’m trying to make sense of. when I hear about other peoples’ accomplishments or major life milestones, it brings up a lot of thoughts related to envy or resentment. The severity of the envy and whether resentment is included or not has to do with the stories I’ve …

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Being excluded

Hi coaches, I joined the collective in December and have been feeling so much more grounded having completed the Harness your Hormones, Nutrition and creating safety toolkits plus and used the ‘ask a coach’ tool to take a look deeper look at certain aspects of my past. I have felt stronger, more content and a …

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Compartmentalisation

Dear Coach, I’ve come across the term compartmentalisation lately a lot and it seems to have either a negative or positive connotation depending on which angle you look at it from. It is usually seen as a mechanism to avoid cognitive dissonance. A friend of mine said to me the other day that she started …

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Friendship: resolve or let go

Hi AAC, This is something that has been whizzing around my brain for months but am yet to take any action. I thought I was more or less certain in the direction I was waiting for the ‘right time’, however the relationship coachings have shifted this. This friend I have known for 8 years and …

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Fallout with friends

I had a very close group of three female friends who I have fallen out with over the past six months. I would like coaching on how to move on from this fallout. I found the fallout really heavy and difficult emotionally, and have spent a lot of time thinking about it over the past …

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Recovering from burnout

I’m recovering from a burnout from work . There are many reasons for the burnout , the work environment , my people pleasing tendencies, challenging projects, and tricky individuals and tricky projects. Im much stronger now , and slowly working towards going back to work . However there are certain individuals who were part of …

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Fear Of Judgement Pt. IV

Thank you for your answer. It’s been really helpful to hear that other people thought’s about me are 50/50. I’ve applied the 50/50 rule to so many areas in my life (people I meet etc.) and it really helps to put things into perspective. Interestingly, it often made me realize that the part that feels …

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Emotional Fallout Post Affair 2

Thankyou for your previous guidance. I’ve been working on regulating my emotions and I’ve realised i’m struggling with accepting what is – I’ve realised ultimately I am still wishing it hadn’t happened. He was wrong to do it. She was wrong to behave the way she did. Everything I did was wrong. It wasn’t supposed …

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facebook group / Buffering

I have been using the FC Facebook group to share wins / selfcare Sunday and also to read other members posts and interact with the others. I use FB specifically for this group only. From using the group I had great insights so far and posting wins etc helped me a lot, however I noticed …

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Dealing With The Past (Pt 2)

Thank you – this really helps. 1. Here is a model that I’v e been exploring… C – exploring relationships in the past T – we are all human and everyone can make mistakes. It’s in the past. F – forgiveness for myself and others A – stop reuminating on the past and looking for …

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2023 Goal Help

Hello! I am having trouble finalizing my goal and rocks for the year. I was diagnosed with autism about a year and a half ago and have been working on unmasking and figuring out who I am. I want this year to be about really knowing myself and loving that person. I am stuck on …

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Struggling to be myself

Hello! New joiner to TFC here. I’ve just changed career. I worked hard to retrain over the past 18 months and I’m 2 weeks into my first full time job in the new industry. I’m enjoying the work and I’m proud of the steps I’ve taken to get to this point. But I’ve noticed that …

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Finding Love

Hello, I’m 46 and single. I live in a rural area, 1.5 hours drive from nearest city. I have my own business which is quite solitary. I’m very content with where I live and I love my work. I had one 2 year relationship in my 20’s and since then 2 or 3 very short …

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Feeling unlucky

My partner whenever something bad happens to her has a tendency to say they’re unlucky. Doing work in this collective I feel like I can see there is thought work to be done here for her but I’m also wondering about my tendency to want to advise or help people fix their unhappiness. Is it …

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Hello, I’m a new member and really excited to be here. This year has been one of major shifts for me. Earlier this year I went through some difficult friendship conflicts that led me to seriously reconsider my relationship with myself, I started therapy, and have been committed to building self-trust and resiliency as I …

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Break up and Break away

I recently broke up with my boyfriend after almost 2 years of dating, and living together for almost one. It was his idea as he felt I lacked independence. I waver (ALOT!) but do think this is the right decision long term, I think I was so ‘him-centered’ I lost a lot of my own …

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Shoulding Vs. Self-Care Pt. 2

That sounds amazing! I’ve been re-watching the self-love webinar and still have some questions: how can I create as much love and connection as I want wihtin myself? Is it ‘just’ that I decide to do it? Is it about entertaining the thought that love and connection are abundant everywhere? How do I do it? …

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Shame Around Drunken Behaviour

On New Year’s Eve, I bumped into an old fling at a party. We didn’t leave things on the best note and because I was drunk, I felt very activated by our interaction and found myself engaging in toxic behaviour/conversations with him that I would have stirred clear of if I was less inebriated. Although …

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Relationships

I have created an intentional model and unintentional model on my thoughts and feelings about what one of my friend says. She often says things of a similar nature and so I find myself in this unintentional model a lot. Unintentional model C: A friend said some words about the importance of marriage and relationships. …

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My best friend is my trigger

This is messy….but heart-felt. I have a friend who has been in my life since I was a teenager. I’m finding her to be a big trigger and sometimes seeing her (especially when we are with friends, not so much by herself) can send me into a place for !days! where all I do is …

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Shoulding vs. self-care

Hi coaches, I’d like to get some coaching around a topic that occurred yesterday. I have Borderline personality disorder, and one symptom is that my brain anticipates rejection in specific situations very strongly. The specific situation yesterday was: I’m an assistant at university (I quit- my last day will be in February), and my students …

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Feeling defensive

Hey coaches! I read something in a facebook group yesterday that really activated some strong defensiveness in me. I listened to the pep talk about what to do when I dislike what someone said, and I’m bringing my self-coaching model to you for feedback. *Unintentional Model* C: someone writes words in a FB group T: …

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Time Of Transition Pt. 6 & fear of going bankrupted & fear of breaking up with my boyfriend

Hi dear coach, I’m back with further coaching in this manner. I got coached by Maisie on the 9th December call and it brought further manners to the surface. I would love some coaching on those 🙂 But first to complete your answer from the last coaching, When I think of “In the end everything …

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Anxiety over friendships

A couple of years ago I experienced a very close friend asking to end our friendship. Since then I’ve coached myself on this and received brilliant coaching. I finally reached peace with the situation and have even been in contact with the friend and we have both expressed love and understanding over what happened. I’m …

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Plans for New Year’s Eve

Hello, some old school friends asked me if I wanted to do something with them on New Year’s Eve. I immediately agreed thinking that we would go to a party as we had done in previous years. However, it turns out they want to spend a cozy evening at home and chose the house of …

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Expressing anger

Hi coaches, my partner and I ended our relationship last year and I now finally have time to process the separation. There is a lot of anger coming up as I feel that she wasn’t there for me in the way that I would have needed her to when I had a big mental breakdown …

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Worrying about a friend

I am worrying about a friend. She struggles with mental health – depression and anxiety – and is going through an extra long dip. She is not fully open with friends, family and work. She is scared of losing her job she is agreeing to unrealistic workload and then not achieving the work – while …

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