I am returning home to Ireland from New Zealand after 6 years (yay!) to spend 6 weeks with my friends and family over Christmas. Something I have on my mind is alcohol consumption while I’m home. Over the past 2/3 years, my drinking habits have changed significantly. In Ireland, as is the culture unfortunately, I …
Thank you for part 1! What I meant by the “real” thought was that in my IM I was projecting what I imagined to be a more helpful thought that would create the feelings and actions that would lead to the more desirable circumstance. However, I know that right now what I actually think is …
Hi dear coach, In my first submission, I was reflecting on my relationship with my childhood best friend. This was my model: C. Meeting with long time childhood friendship T. I don’t feel as close as I use to to this person. F. Sad A. Don’t share what I feel vulnerable about. Don’t look forward …
Hi coaches, I’ve been going through a challenging period for the past three months, I’m currently on a two-week leave from work. I’m returning on Friday which I’m feeling mixed emotions so I reached out to my manager regarding retuning to work. She was very supportive letting me know that she will be taking me …
I posted in the Facebook group and had some great feedback that I wanted to build upon but as I wanted it to be anonymous, I’m writing it here. Unintentional model Thought download: I stayed over at the flat of a guy I like on Saturday night after his birthday drinks. We are in the …
Hello, Thank you so much for your response to my About Time Coaching question and for the thought work feedback. I have now done a thought download and have written down the things that go through my head when I am feeling overwhelmed. I just went for it just to see what would come out: …
I have two young children and work full-time. I am trying to make sense of thoughts/feelings about organising playdates and supporting my children to build strong friendships. Over the past three years, I have had periods of burnout due to full-time work and looking after my children as there was no wrap around care. I …
I moved in with my partner in the spring of this year. I have lived with one other partner before. I am noticing a lot of judgement, pressure and should-ing around the division of housework. For me, housework is not a priority and is not often something I would choose to do if I have …
Housework, the patriarchy and intergenerational trauma Read More »
Hi, I have a volunteer role at a charity, which I took on earlier in summer. In theory it’s something I’m really passionate about – and I wanted to do it. But in practice i’m finding that I just don’t have the time to give it what i think it needs. I haven’t done much …
Hi, I’m currently navigating going freelance, alongside my existing job. Have done a couple of different ask a coaches on this. But I’m now at the point where I have a 4 week window of time before xmas to gather as much as info as possible (work is quiet atm and its the perfect time …
Changing thoughts around time for the last month of the year Read More »
I’ve been intentionally putting way less effort into my 9-5 job because a) I have a kid now, b) I’ve set up my own side hustle business and c) I was working way too hard anyway and eff that. There had been a situation where I was away from work for 2 weeks and so …
My goal is to raise my self worth and I think it’s going quite well I noticed I was coaching myself in a dream the other night and thought wow it’s really getting into my subconscious. One of my rocks is to love myself and my life as it is but I’m just struggling with …
Thank you for your kind words. I’m so grateful for this space, thank you (and for myself in choosing to reach out!). I find it hard to celebrate the living with pain, not because it’s not an achievement worth celebrating (because it is) but because I don’t have a choice. I’m just surviving and not …
Hello! I’ve been leaning into decisions from the perspective of ‘what is the most loving thing to do right now’, as well as journalling of an evening of where I could have loved myself more, and simple things I could have done differently. One sticky place when I’m feeling these questions hard to nail is …
What’s the most loving thing? Conflicting care imperatives Read More »
Hi coaches I’m struggling with my relationship with alcohol. I seem to use it to calm my nervous system and regulate myself, but I have wanted to reduce my intake for a while – and it doesn’t seem to be going well. My levels are not what would be considered problematic as I only have …
I am beginning to express when I’m not happy about something in my relationships, at work and also in my romantic relationship. This is a fairly new thing for me, I am trying to be more aware of when I am feeling hurt, upset or angry about things that people have said or done rather …
Thank you! I journal each day and have been writing down my wins for each day at the start of each entry to celebrate myself everyday. I notice myself not being compassionate to myself around choices I make around my use of time outside of working hours. I am critical when I spend time scrolling …
I have been dabbling in some of the prompts from the self love journey, and have noticed something. I feel quite self conscious when people come to my house for the first time. Or when I think of inviting people I like a lot over. I’m worried about them reading into how the house is …
LOVE this. Thank you. Realised that if I’m always thinking I can’t have money and value alignment (as well as creativity, another thing we’ve discussed on ask a coach), then that will be more likely to be the result. Because it makes me feel defeatist and like it’s impossible. So I don’t take actions which …
Thanks for your coaching on this! Such a radical thought that knowing I want to give myself the chance to have children if I want to could actually be a supportive factor for me… At first, I found it hard to come up with reasons why this could be supportive, which felt realistic – but …
Approaching dating with a rigid idea of my ‘type’ – and how to change this – PART 3 Read More »
Dear AAC, I have just started the self-love journey, and I am coming on here to share my first post. I am 2.5 months into my new life in London. I have felt and experienced so many things – It sometimes feels like I am experiencing a thousand lifetimes in a given day. Love, joy, …
In late 2022, I was approached with the opportunity of organising and running a workshop at an event in 2024. Since then I have struggled with work commitments and have a number of outstanding projects to complete as well as grappling with some personal health issues. I have to make a decision about whether to …
I’m working on the following model and would really appreciate some feedback and guidance as I feel rather stuck with it. I have so many thoughts around the Circumstance, but they all create the same or very similar Sensations, Actions and Results. I also can’t find a Thought that resonates in the intentional model C …
Hello, I’d love some coaching on my propensity to be rush and be late. I have been observing this over the last few weeks especially, as it is something I have recently been trying to address, but I still end up rushing and arrive bang on time or a few minutes late. So there are …
I’m making the pattern of thoughts mean that I’m stressing out about having sex frequently enough and it’s making sex less attractive and therefore means I’m having sex less often. I’m making having sex less often mean that I am a bad partner, that I’m not good or interesting or fun or sexy or attractive …
This is my first AAC post – I’m doing this as a commitment to my self-love journey. I have achieved quite a few big goals recently and had some unexpected wins. One of these (buying a house) is something I’ve been working towards for 12 years. In the space of two days I also got …
Hello Coaches, I recently watched Maisie’s “About Time” call, and since watching it I have become more aware of how I use my time and have realised that I am in charge of what I do, which feels really positive. I’ve identified that my main priority right now is to return to self employment and …
Hello coaches 🙂 I have been thinking about my career/work life a lot recently. Having done lots of learning/self-reflection/becoming a mum over the last few years, I have started to understand myself better and know that the work I do at the moment doesn’t fulfil me in some ways. It’s hard to show up in …
Ready to take action but not sure which direction Read More »
Today I used the journal prompt: If you could wave a magic wand and instil some new thoughts and beliefs about yourself, what would you go with? Why? At first, I was met with resistance. But then I came up with these 2: 1. I am ready to receive financial success. 2. I am ready …
Hi coaches! So I’ve noticed this thing lately which comes up regarding saying no, asking for things and taking up space. Today I went to the hairdresser cause I wasn’t happy the first time around, so they had to correct it. I felt guilty for going back almost the whole time. I also recently “rejected” …
Hi there, I am struggling with some guilt around announcing my pregnancy at work. Here some context: for the past 2.5 years I have been working very hard to get a project I wanted to work on that also allowed me to grow in my function and my salary. I am happy with this result …
I recently noticed that many, if not most achievements in my life weren’t celebrated properly (or at all). This ranges from academic achievements (all the way up to a freaking PhD) and landing jobs (or even interviews) to personal events like housewarming parties, running a half-marathon (or my first 5k after giving birth), having a …
Hi, I’m a new member and I took the recommendation from Maisie on a good day tripper goal as I feel this would be a great first goal and I would really like to have a better relationship with myself and be kinder to myself My Autumn goal is to create a compassionate relationship with …
Thanks for your coaching on this! This is radical… haha – to realise that I can choose if I take on another of those opinions. And also the narrative that I can choose to nurture: eg in this case, that this job has been amazing for me on a personal level (eg around my relationship …
Hi, I’ve been thinking a lot about my current dating goals atm. Something I’ve noticed is that I often go for a similar ‘type’ and have quite a potentially limiting idea of what that looks like for me / and who I swipe for. I wonder if this could be limiting the luck I’m having. …
Approaching dating with a rigid idea of my ‘type’ – and how to change this Read More »
Hey, I have been working on a book for the past 3 years and it is finally going to be published next week. I am having a small launch event and am very touched that lots of family, friends and acquaintances are coming. But, and I’m not sure if this is because I’ve been feeling …
I have a lot of “shoulds” about how frequently I have sex with my partner. I have this idea in my mind that ideally we should have sex at least once per week, and when I fall short of that expectation I beat myself up about it. I’ve been thinking like this ever since we …
Hi, My current goal is going freelance in journalism. I used to work in this industry, but have been working in a different one for the last year, for a charity / activist org – which gets a lot of bad press in the media (not because it’s a bad thing inherently, but because of …
Hi, I’m currently in process of going freelance. As part of this, I want to build more of an online presence / brand for myself – as I think this will help to share my work more widely and get the message out, also so more people will benefit from it. And because I know …
I’m still struggling to untangle the writing (the thing I love doing) from a weird need for success/recognition that I don’t want to be there. I want to love the process not attach to the outcome. I made my goal to raise my self worth as I realised that I was putting too much pressure …
This is my November goal, I would love to know if you have any builds? Goal: Practice taking more time for myself to move my body. Rocks: – practice by taking small amounts of time – be curious by trying it even when it feels wrong – do thought work around feeling guilty – Use …
Hello, I would like some help with my model. It is in regard to an exchange I had with my partner, which is quite similar to a few other incidences. I am struggling to get clear on what is happening and how I can change my behaviour around it. The circumstance is that my partner …
Finding it difficult to talk to my partner about are different thoughts Read More »
Hello! Jumping right in with some context: I’ve had a tumultuous relationship with my dad since childhood (I’m 30 now). It really came to a head during high school when I lived with him and his then girlfriend, now wife. My dad didn’t tell either of us that the other person would be living in …
Thank you for your answer. I actually have a win to report 🙂 At the beginning of the week, I had a meeting with this colleague and another colleague. Before the meeting, I did some self-coaching and decided on my goals and how I wanted to show up in this meeting. I stayed very calm, …
Hi, Thanks for your coaching on this, really helpful. I have had a go at re-working my model into some mini ones around the desired thoughts and feelings. I decided that the biggest priorities for me were to feel powerful, well resourced with plenty of time in this 2 months, self-trusting and excited about this. …
Contacting old boss + overcoming those fears = PART 3 Read More »
Around 4 years ago I decided to move from the countryside to London and it was an exciting move. One of my best friends had secured a job in London and I wanted to follow suit so I applied in the same place as them and also got a job. So we were all set …
I was hoping to get coached on this in a call but sadly didn’t get a chance so bringing it to AAC. After doing the Autumn Goal Workshop, I have tried to finalise my Autumn Goal, but I’ve struggled and would like help clarifying what it should be and what my rocks should be so …
Hi, So I’ve noticed a creeping (potentially old fear) the last few days, which has come up with me feeling under the weather. I think I got covid a few weeks ago which knocked me out, but I seemed to recover quite quickly considering. Then I was hit with some sort of cold after which …
I’ve wanted to write this post so many times but always struggle with where to start, so I think a thought download might help. I’ve been struggling with ROCD (relationship OCD) for nearly two years now, it came completely out of the blue in my decade long relationship, where beforehand I felt the luckiest person …
Hi Coaches, I am practicing not being overly responsible but what I have noticed is that when I do take a step back (even though in my head it’s screaming “let’s do x”) a LOT of the times things go wrong. 🤣 It’s usually not the worst things in the world but every time it …
Hello team, I did not want to trigger anyone in the Flow community via Facebook, with this model, as I am trying to find a way through an eating disorder. I haven’t engaged with the Flow Collective wholeheartedly as I haven’t felt ready but I want to try but I am so scared of getting …
Hi, Wondering if you can offer any insights into an interaction I had this week. I saw a friend of my mum’s, at an event that was happening near me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her one on one, or really as an adult myself. We spoke about my mum, of course, and the …
“What is the simplest way you could measure this for yourself?” I guess just feeling is the easiest way to measure this? “Don’t get too stuck on the “how” if it’s feeling like an obstacle. Trust that an answer will come to you.” I have trust this in the past but it didn’t came. How …
Thank you so much for your answer. I love the R line you suggested for the intentional model. I really like the idea of using this whole process of publishing my thesis to come to terms with the period during which I worked on my PhD thesis. At the moment, I often waive it off …
Hi, I have been meaning to write about this for so long, but have put it off telling myself its too messy and confusing, but I could really use some help on this! Basically I am a creative, and last year I really needed some more income to support myself as being in the music …
At the moment it sometimes feels like a choice with some relationships between being able to express needs but losing the friendship or staying silent/ going along with everything but keeping the friendship. Given the things I’ve learnt since being in TFC I presume I’m being rather black and white in my thinking here and …
Hi coaches, First of all, I want to celebrate that I’m now willing to ‘go there’ when it comes to figuring our how to improve my relationship with my mum, for a long time it’s felt too big to bother trying, but now I’m ready to give it a go. I’ve made a start with …
Goal: cultivate unconditional self worth. How will I know I have reached my goal? Feel worthy more often than not. I will be ok with thoughts of “I’m not worthy”. They can be there but that doesn’t take away my awesomeness and enoughness. Qualities of autumn that I will use: non-negotiable and editing 🪨 🪨 …
Hi coaches, Here is my goal for the Autumn: To build strength in my body and my mind – To exercise 3-4 times a week at strength building classes or swimming – To use TFC resources and techniques – To rest my body and my mind Rocks – Build in journaling and mediation into evening …
Hi coaches, I have recently been unwell and also had a period of extreme anxiety. It forced me to strip right back from my usual social group and activities. It made me realise that trying to be involved in all the different groups I’m part of and keep up with all the social events and …
Hi, As part of my current goal of going freelance this season, I am trying to psych myself up to contact an old boss. This is because I have realised I need to lean into my networks big time, as it will really help me in this industry, in terms of connections and advice. When …
Hi coaches! Before I joined the goal setting call I was considering a goal either around movement or speaking to myself in a nicer way. What came up for me in the visualisation was the strong urge to be of service, to help, to be more involved in community. And I love it. It feels …
Dear coaches, I have made a roadmap of how it would look like (and feel like) if I was approaching my training fully from connection, self-care and curiosity of how far I can go, realizing many of the things I am already doing. (YAY!!!)The key aspect I found was to be faithful both in the …
Exploring inner landscape around training – part 2 Read More »
Hi. I work with our family business. A farm. My father has run it for 40 years and since an illness has needed to step back. I’m now helping to manage things; working with my mum (🤪) and a few others with whom my dad has worked with for years. They aren’t employees but freelance, …
Feeling stuck with wanting to make changes in Family Business Read More »
Oh. My. God. Your answer really blowed my mind! Positive and negative. I feel SO uncomfortable and SO excited but I will take responsiblity for my own emotions here 😉 (Of course). My brain was expecting (subconcious I guess because I didn’t think of it when sending it, but now it shows me it does) …
Relationship With My E-Mail Inbox At Work Part 2. Read More »
I want to share something here I also posted in the community. I like to hear feedback from a coach on it 🙂 It is about moving goal posts while achieving goals, so that it will be unachievable to reach a goal because the posts moves further away. But also about defining my goal more. …
Hello! One of the main reasons that I decided to sign up to join The Flow Collective in the first place is because over the past 12 months, my thought patterns / focus / things I thought were important / things I didn’t think were important / even values to some extent, seem to have …
C: i have a project I am not working in T: I am spinning F: confused S: throat pain, forehead compression , chest collapse, sighs A: I look for more external validation, what others are doing, how are they doing it, this involves scrolling and eventually signing up for a new course to educate myself …
Searching always for more education instead of starting a project myself Read More »
Hi, Sometimes I feel like I’m in whats app debt – with so many messages from friends that I haven’t replied to… I know it’s a nice thing to have lots of wonderful people in my life, but it it can feel like I’m on this constant treadmill of being ‘behind’ and like I’m being …
Hello, after the Goal Getters call I went back to my season’s goal to experience and act from my whole self. One of my rocks is to experience my whole self physically through Alexander technique work I’m doing, which is going brilliantly but another rock is to listen to and act from my yeses and …
Goal block – ‘too hard’ to listen to my yeses and nos Read More »
I don’t think I’m managing this wrong necessarily. I think I could choose to post on the Instagram account or not and it wouldn’t mean anything either way. I’m just noticing the feeling of disappointment about not posting. Over the summer I took steps to make the app less addictive so I can share there …
Hi, thanks for your insights, that’s really interesting. Here are my answers to the qus: What kind of relationship do you want to have with your parents? One that is close, while still being healthy. Where I can show up as my full, authentic self – without fear of rejection, and feeling loved unconditionally. Where …
Conversations With Family Around My Career – part 2 Read More »
Hi and thank you so much for the first response I got last week … it was really helpful! I hesitate posting here for a couple of days now and am taking Maisies call as a push to just sent my words out, as messy as they may be. I am grateful for whatever input …
Feeling stuck and unable to move forward with something (the self coaching) Read More »
Hi coach! 🙂 I struggle for a long time with keeping up with friends. I have around 15 good friends, which is too much to keep up with. I feel like I fail all the time at keeping up with them and it exhaust me if I think about my friendships. I have thoughts like: …
I’m currently on holiday in Sri Lanka on a 3 week long surf trip. The main reason I booked this trip was to improve my surfing. I have found the surfing unexpectedly really challenging. My confidence in surfing now feels like it is at an all time low. I have tried to use so many …
Dear coach, I recently gifted myself a fully remote job with lots of flexibility & benefits and I quite enjoy the job after years in academia and years of burnout cycles. Thanks to the time hackers, I have been feeling much better about slowing down and taking time off, most importantly starting the work day …
I have identified that I struggle with a new aspect of my identity. I am a qualified Counsellor and have started my own counselling private practice. I notice that my actions are showing up a lot of discomfort about this ‘professional’ status. I don’t feel I can own it, and I want to be able …
Dear coaches, thanks for your help on part one of this question! Here’s something of a follow-up. Through writing, I’ve discovered that I’ve been getting more easily frustrated at work because it’s unsatisfying and unstable. There isn’t much for me to do since the structure of the company changed a few months ago, and I, …
My goal is to become a migraine recovery coach. I’ve started a coaching training course and I’ve also registered for a certification that will take 5 weeks to complete between early October and early November and will take 5-6 hours each week. Meanwhile I have an Instagram account for sharing tips on migraine recovery that …
Hey there! Not that long ago I was coached by Masie on a call about recurring situations regarding my partner and my feelings towards him. It turned out that my main feeling was anger and that I felt like feeling angry was “not ok” or made me a “bad mother” or a “bad person” in …
Hey there AAC – I’m trying to tackle a LIFE LONG challenge of seeking validation through my sexuality. I really want to get to a place where I can freely enjoy joyful promiscuity – I love sex and dating – without making others’ desire for me responsible for my sense of self worth. I’ve got …
Validation through perceived sexual desirability Read More »
Dear coach, I joined a little late and missed the call about goals and goalsetting. I made a model from what i saw on the fb page. Now I had a thought and had quite a few things that i could pick a goal on. Like growing my own breathwork buisnis. Working towards giving autism …
Hello, I am trying to shift both thought and action patterns around sleep. I am in a pattern of eating quite late and then correspondingly going to bed quite late (e.g. typically in bed around 11 pm) and then getting up just after 7 am. This leaves me with not quite enough sleep – not …
Hello lovely coaches, So, I need some help with my Autumn goal. I have thought for a month or so that it would be something about my nervous system (I still don’t know what that is!) or about noticing and acknowledging my emotions. This is because I often just ‘do’ and not ‘be’. (Long story, …
Goal – something about getting in touch with my feelings! Read More »
Hi I’d love some feedback on my Autumn goal. I don’t feel like I have a clear view of my rocks yet or what it looks like to get there. In the meditation from Maisie’s call I saw my reflection where I was glowing, I felt light, happy and free and I want to embody …
Hey coaches, My summer goal was to ‘find out what I want from life’. And I found out a lot. Mostly things I don’t want in my life anymore. So I had a good tidy up. And now with all the free space , I see constantly new opportunities where my life could take me. …
Hi Coaches, Thanks for you feedback on the previous post – I’ve done a full reflection of my Summer goal and celebrated the successes! I’ve updated my Autumn goal, to allow for more imperfect, human and loving behaviour, and would appreciate some feedback on the new version. Goal: Build a compassionate relationship with myself, especially …
Autumn Gaol Setting: Reducing Catastrophising Behaviours Pt. 2 Read More »
Thanks for the coaching. Having gone and written a list of my thoughts about reaching out to my old boss the stand out thought was that I shouldn’t be prioritising convenience over my career. Digging deeper I think this is linked to the story I was bought into when growing up and well into adulthood, …
Hi! It’s my 30th birthday next spring, and I’ve been thinking about how to celebrate it. I found a venue which I love and means a lot to me. But they charge a hiring fee, plus have quite a high minimum spend. I am happy to pay the hiring fee, and I think the min …
Hi! I wonder if you can offer any insights with this. I had the idea in the last year to help my granny writer her memoir. I saw a friend’s granny do this and it seemed like a sweet project. I have a background in journalism so know I could ghost-write it out of her. …
Hi! My goal this season is very much a career one – this 100% feels like the right priority to me, and I’m really going for it atm, and loving it. (There are many reasons for this, and previous seasons have been more personal goals, so this feels really right for me atm). However, something …
Hey there, I´m new to the membership. This is my first model. Any suggestions appreciated! C: Wanting to start an online health coaching business T: I don´t know where and how to start F: Overwhelmed S: Tightness in chest and upper back A: Procrastinate R: Don´t ever get to work as an online health coach. …
Hello!:) I have done a model on the dynamic I am playing out at home. I wanted to ask for feedback on the model, please, and potentially help with some ladder thoughts I could work on. Taking responsibility for the emotions of my mother was our main family focus growing up, so I think I …
Thanks for your coaching. This is the intentional model I want: C: My email has unread messages T: It’ll be okay F: Confident S: Warm feeling in chest A: Having regular email dates/I don’t ruminate and blame myself if I don’t do it perfectly/I celebrate myself when replying to emails/I don’t do email when tired/I …
Hi Coaches! Thank you for your feed back on my previous self coaching. I went back though and here’s what I got. I’ve noticed the time period is specific… It’s from 10:00pm -7:00am (bed time to when my alarm goes off) I feel this real heaviness to as soon as 10:00pm hits. Then no more …
Hi AAC, I am just figuring out my Autumn goal and I’m a little stuck on my 3rd rock. My goal: Believe in myself The qualities I am going to work with are: Authenticity and Finishing Rock 1: Notice my limiting beliefs and thoughts and inner critic Rock 2: Celebrate myself daily Rock 3: This …
Hi Coaches, Im practising my first few models here on a situation that I find very tough. I have been not working for a year now due to Burnout. At the end of the year my benefits will run out and as I have been feeling a little better I am craving some routine, normality …
Hello, Here is my autumn goal. I’ve thought hard about the wording to ensure its a clean goal and am keen for feedback… GOAL Embrace physical movement in autumn Why is this a goal? I’d like to be fitter to enjoy my physical hobbies more. I think exercise is important for my short term and …
I would really like to have coaching around my autumn goal. Goal: I launch my Fertility Awareness course with 5 clients and support them authentically and as best as possible. Rock: Plan Launch and do it like I’ve learned. Rock: daily check-ins and self coach if sth comes up. “What’s 1 step I can do …
Hi coaches, I’d love a bit of help with my Autumn goal. Goal: build community around my family after moving neighbourhoods. What is community to me? Seeing people regularly, having them over to our house, celebrating and creating traditions. I think I am searching for a feeling of warmth/love/ease Rock 1: celebrate birthdays/special occasions with …