I’ve just finished watching Maisie’s goal setting webinar and it’s brought up quite a few things. Background: I have a background in teaching but decided to go in a different career direction so retrained and became certified in another field last year. I want to establish my own business but have been hitting wall after …
Mindset around launching and making progress in my business Read More »
I want to change my work patterns to a 9 in 10 day fortnight. The thoughts holding me back: It will inhibit my career. My director will think I am a slacker. I have picked up comments from him regarding the part time person in my team and the part time person has not been …
Hi coaches. I’m really struggling to let go of a kind of ‘grass is greener’ or ‘my life is going to start when X happens’ story. I made some big changes in my life about a year ago and I’ve been much happier and healthier since. However now that I have some distance from my …
Thank you: I had a conversation with my husband and am proud that I waited for a moment that was calm and we were not rushed. I waited three days after talking to the school in Berlin. I was calm and prepared to just listen and not defend my corner. The conversation went well – …
Yes the feelings in my dream are relaxed, ease, still and contended being alone in a comfortable and beautiful hotel. There’s also the feelings of delight and inspiration from the art works. On the first set of feelings, I think this may be coming from perfectionist tendencies that tend to mean I have high expectations …
Maisie spoke about dreams in her goal setting call today. My dream is about resting and pleasure. I see myself wearing beautiful clothing, going to the opera, waking up in a beautiful hotel room with crisp white cotton sheets, drinking tea in bed and then reading the paper at a table outside a cafe with …
Hello and thank you so much for your answer. I think you were right in pointing out that I’ve been carrying a burden for the past few months. Thinking something like “it’s unfair that I have to deal with this” hasn’t really helped me. Though I stand by my decisions during the past few months …
I received an email yesterday that I was not selected for an interview for a new job that I applied for back in January. I’m allowing myself to feel disappointment, and in my TDL this morning, I could see that I don’t really want a new job, per se. I just want to leave my …
Holding onto a vision of what I thought my life would be like Read More »
Thanks for the useful pointers! The threat I fear is humiliation. The likelihood of this happening at my work is minimal. If someone is disappointed with me, that is their business, not mine. I know I am great at my job and widely appreciated by my colleagues. Even if I am publicly humiliated, I know …
Hi Ask a Coach, Could you provide some feedback on some models I’ve done around being in groups of people? Unintentional C: In a group of people, T: I need to make conversation, F: Paralysed/inhibited, A: Don’t ask people questions, A: Rely on others to drive conversation. A: If partner is present stick to him …
Dear coaches My word for 2023 is self-love which I’ve been using as monthly goals to prioritise my physical, emotional and mental health. As part of that, I gave up Slimming World which although had previously helped me lose 1 stone, I had slowly put back on and was increasing my feelings of guilt and …
I know that it is normal for human brains to have a negativity bias. And I think years’ of anxiety and depression in adolescence has made my bias quite strong without me recognising things can be any different – thinking of this in a neutral way without passing judgment on myself. I know that there …
Hi, Thanks for the coaching. It felt very helpful to see how I have been telling myself passive communication is ‘easy’ and assertive communication is the harder route. After spending some time writing on this, I’ve come up with Is people pleasing easy? – It can feel easier in the moment as I can feel …
Hi there, I started working as a photographer end of last year. I am very proud of the progress I have made, my bravery to putting myself out there and asking for money for my services. I enjoy being an artist (and calling myself that) immensely. I recently sent off a couple of galleries to …
My gut response is approval from others is what is standing in the way and fear that I will make a bad decision. How might I move forward on this ? Thank you Answer: Great insights! Celebrate your win of recognizing what’s holding you back from making your decision. When you say “others” …
I have read back my notes from the end of Dec beginning of Jan after listening to Maisie talk about making decisions. I would like some help on making my decision. I want to change my work. I like my workplace (school) but it is 6 days a week , long days and I am …
I’m noticing a recurrent situation where I have a fast nervous system response and I would like to be able to respond differently. It typically happens at work when I am challenged in a group setting by a question or statement relating to work I have done, usually by the same guy – my boss …
I’ve noticed a lot of anxiety coming up around possibly letting a friend down. It’s been a habit thought of mine that I ‘don’t know how to do friendships’ and I’d like to overcome it, as I know I can’t control my friends’ feelings, but at the same time I want to be a better …
C: I’ve been on sick leave from work for several months with consecutive viral illnesses/bacterial infections. I am not doing my usual activities because of symptoms and fatigue T: I am a burden to my husband F: worthless A: buffer with scrolling, talk about how much of a burden I feel to close friends, find …
I found the coaching really helpful, thank you. During my thought download on ‘Why do you want to be more assertive’ I discovered a few reasons that resonate and feel good. 1. I want to feel more free of the frustrations I feel at having to soften everything/ people please/ spend ages constructing messages/ pretending …
For a while now I have been wondering if the teaching profession is right for me after all. The profession does require a lot of time outside of working hours and I no longer feel able / comfortable in giving that. My situation has changed now from when I first entered the profession living with …
Hello Ask A Coach, I recently completed an unintentional model that revealed a much bigger core belief. I felt like I was able to address the thought in the model but got a little stuck with addressing the core belief. UM C: Invited to an event with new friends T: I don’t know what to …
Hi amazing team, thank you so much for taking the time to look at this and help me on this! You’re all truly inspiring. Here’s the question: I notice I value honesty and communication a lot. I don’t have troubles expressing this towards my partner or my mom, or people I have just met. But …
Dear Ask A Coach, Lately I’ve been doing daily thought downloads/models, and I’ve noticed a couple of recurring core beliefs that I’m having some trouble shifting. The first is: “If I am perfect, I am safe.” Logically, intellectually I know that perfection doesn’t exist/is impossible/is in the eye of the beholder. I know that. But …
Thank you for your last answer. It has helped to think that his actions have nothing to do with me and that he is being himself and showing up in the world in a way that is congruent with his perception of reality. IT is slightly harder for me to be deliberate about what I …
I’m recently back to work following maternity leave and I’m feeling a bit stuck with what to do with my job / career in both the short and long term! I’m currently working in marketing in a job that pays ok, offers lots of flexibility in an industry I have experience in, which I can …
Thanks so much for the coaching! It is really helpful to see an outside perspective that can dissect my C, F and A lines for me. I have done a thought download on ‘Evening activities’ right after I received the coaching and one just now, about two weeks later. When I compare the two thought …
Thanks so much for your reply! I’ve written out my answers to your questions and added a new circumstance at the bottom: —What do you think separating out what’s legitimate in your mind and what’s not would do for you? It’s helpful to think that my anger is legitimate because it’s what I’m feeling. I …
Here are my thoughts post listening to this weeks’ evaluate February webinar…. What went well Connection with myself – A mindset shift of letting some perfectionism go, realise that it holds back connection (at work) or when spending time with people. Realise its compounding tiredness. A conversation with my brother helped me see this. – …
This is probably going to need to be a series because there’s a lot to unpack in this one… I hired someone into my team three years ago and have had a lot of challenges with them ever since – they have difficulty meeting deadlines, trouble prioritizing, work needs a lot of revisions when it’s …
I work in a primary school where the children can work individually, which involves much more spontaneity and individual support/help. Today school started again after the holidays. At noon when we’ve eaten all together I’ve got really emotional and asked, if it’s okey, that I take a bit of time for myself and have eaten …
Thank you for your words! It makes sense, that enough is really subjective and that I can decide what it is. Actually a lot of the things I think I definetely have to do on that day, I can also do later or just not do it. But I really struggle to cross things out …
I’m an Art teacher and working toward qualifying by September as a child counsellor using the arts, it’s been years of part time work and free client hours to get to this point. I’ve been contacted by a headmistress who likes the idea of the counselling using the arts and wants to think about working …
Potential new role asking for money in an underpaid profession Read More »
I often have a lot of unhelpful thoughts on Sundays. I can’t then really enjoy the day off, because I’m already thinking about the new week. I’m a teacher so it’s a lot of planning, that sometimes has to happen on the weekend too. I really try to do everything before, but I still have …
Hello lovely coaches! I’d love some guidance on a model I’m working with around my urge to buy things when I’m feeling stressed, particularly knitting and sewing supplies. I’ve gleaned some good stuff from the previous post “shopping out of control” but I’m still a bit stuck. My UM C: new project supplies shopping T: …
I have a muslim background and the tradition says to invite family to a wedding. I have decided, since it’s a mixed culture wedding, so also half western wedding not to invite all the family. Actually as few guests as possible, concerning family. I want it to be something with my chosen family and a …
discomfort about not inviting certain family members to my wedding Read More »
Hello, 🙂 I’m struggling a little (sometimes a lot) with imposter syndrome. I think I’ve always had this. I’ve been private chef for many years then opened up a salad bar business. I’ve always had this slight feeling I’m not respected or considered a real ‘chef’. (By who, I don’t know!) I’m not classically trained, …
I am in a transition where I am starting two businesses, have just moved back to the United States, am living with my parents, and do not have a stable income or specific direction. When I think about my bigger dream and vision it is very clear. I see myself as an entrepreneur or business …
Lately, I’ve been noticing a pattern that I’m trying to make sense of. when I hear about other peoples’ accomplishments or major life milestones, it brings up a lot of thoughts related to envy or resentment. The severity of the envy and whether resentment is included or not has to do with the stories I’ve …
Hello! I just watched the Self Love Workshop from 2021, going through part of that workbook. I really resonated with the coaching for Gemma. The unintentional model about not showing up as herself with other people who she considers to be in a different social standing and feeling inadequate is also how I feel and …
I have a question I wanted to bring to the coaching call with Maggie Reyes today but I wasn’t able to attend, so I thought I’d bring it here instead… For relationships month I set the intention of building more honesty in my relationship with my husband (honesty with myself about my thoughts about him, …
Hi coaches, I’m at a junction in my life and unsure about my next steps or what my real motivations are. I stopped working when I had children and now that my youngest has just started school, I’m wondering what my next move should be. My husband works very long hours and it’s important for …
I’ve been mulling over the question “How do you think your story ends after you have learned to trust yourself?” and “what does it look like when you can trust yourself?” and hopefully all the mulling is leading to an answer somewhere. I really don’t know, because it seems so rare that I ever 100% …
I think I’m struggling with doing what I say I will do because I’m questioning whether what I’ve planned is the best use of my time. For example, I plan to watch TFC content on a Monday morning but then question whether I should be doing some business admin and then end up not being …
I have been uncomfortable with my target audience for my business for a while now. So much so that I actually changed my whole business model to avoid them, only to have now come full circle in understanding that I cannot avoid them. It’s such a strange thing, and I’m also very scared to do …
I recently had a realisation that whenever I spend time with or have a conversation with anybody – even close friends and my family, I am assuming thr whole time that they don’t like me or think I’m being unlikable. It makes me feel a bit sad that I’ve gone through life feeling like that …
Thank you for your answer. It’s been a while since I read your reply and I couldn’t think of a challenge, I also had other things going on so I parked this topic for a bit. However, during the last few days, I went to two parties / concerts with different groups of people, some …
Hey lovely AAC coaches, Woof! Just finished up with nervous system mapping & listening to the first two creating safety calls. Started pursuing the goal of learning to work with my nervous system after recognising more & more that I spend a lot of time in freeze/dorsal. ‘I’m not good enough’ is a thought that …
I am struggling with motivation and will power when choosing what snacks to eat. One of my rocks to work towards a larger goal of HEALTH for myself is to change my relationship with sugar. I am addicted to sugar. I am successfully changing the main meals that I eat and have had a successful …
Hi I’m new to the flow collective and am now into Module 3 of “Harnessing Your Hormones”. I have yet to dive deeper into any decision-making modules or any other topic. However, I was wondering if I could get some coaching regarding a recurring issue that I’m facing. A year ago, I decided to come …
A huge thank you for your feedback and question. I took your question (if you could divide your list of things to help you achieve your goal of loving yourself into three categories, what would those categories be?) and your suggestion to bring self-love into it and worked with that and this is what I …
Thank you for the previous coaching, I am definitely working through that! I realise that after being coached live in the winter activate workshop, I have felt like in not sure if I actually have a word of the year, if its ok to have implementation, even after examining where it comes from, and if …
Hello coaches I have realised a lot of my overwhelming feelings recently have come from wanting to make more money but working as little as I possibly can. I think I’m stressing myself out about how I can make this happen. I have tried to plan my time in the week for set admin days …
I have a very trivial circumstance that I think could be a good playground for exploring some models on some deeper self-critical thoughts I have about a belief that I am messy, chaotic and can sometimes be absent-minded. The circumstance is making pancakes at a friend’s parents’ house, the fire alarm went off multiple times …
It was so helpful to identify that I rarely/ never acknowledge what I am good at in my role as a Pilates teacher. So simple, yet really showed me that I’m giving so much airtime to what I don’t think has gone well and not giving any thought to what I’m doing well. Over the …
Hey coaches! A flow-er friend prompted me to send this for coaching after I shared with her! roughly, I’m training for a powerlifting competition in May, so I want to set myself up for success by putting in the work AND I don’t want to make myself miserable in the pursuit of my goal. It …
Thanks for your response. Here are my thoughts on your questions. On reflection, the first goal and set of rocks works for me. It’s the second goal in particular that is causing my squirmishness. What do I see – too much; complicating things What do I think is lacking – specific actionables and outcomes (especially …
Hey again 🙂 Thank you for your support – what an uplifting and insightful reply that was. I’ll follow in line with the three questions I asked in Part 2. There is no question here, just to respond to your points with my thoughts and to clear the space before I come back in Part …
Limbo Period in Relationship after 1y No Contact lifts – Part 3 Read More »
Thank you very much for your words, they were very helpful. I thought about this for a long time. To expect compassion in such a situation would have been too much for me. I clearly had a strong nervous reaction. One of my goals this year is to make my nervous system a top priority. …
Customer or Friend? Or: Turning from Defensiveness to Compassion (Pt. 2) Read More »
I binge eat. depending on the severity I am in so much pain/feeling too nauseous/tired to do anything. I am currently in contact with specialist help, but I would also like to use thought work to help me address specific triggers as I think sometimes it can be a tool to become incapacitated to avoid …
Hello Coaches I think I’ve changed my goal, my word of the year is confidence. Although I see myself as a confident person, I have a lot of self doubt which holds me back from progressing. I’ve decided my goal is; Build authenticity, build self trust and be in touch with what I want Rocks …
My brain is telling me “I can’t do this. This is too hard.” After 4 years in the liminal space of career change, I still don’t know what I really want. I’ve been trying to experiment and evolve myself into something new, focusing on freelance but also considering going back into employment. I have had …
I’m coming back to ask a coach from having reread my previous question on Losing Weight. Thank you for your kindness and generosity. The intentional model I came up with (starting with my result line) is: Circumstance: Doing Yoga ANY TIME Thought: I am worthy of movement Feeling: Relief Action: I remember that I love …
Hello Flow Coach, Thank you for your response and support. It is an ongoing issue, so I’ve created a ‘part 2’ to reply to your guidance. I used your guiding questions and it helped a lot. I’ll summarise my answers here and tell you what my action was. I also have a follow up question. …
Limbo Period in Relationship after 1y No Contact lifts – Part 2 Read More »
I’m struggling to sort through this decision- My partner and I need to rebuild our savings after some financial challenges at the end of 2022. I have two options now to support him in this 1. Get an agency job as a care worker/waitress/bar staff/cleaner etc 2. Take on more paid research work/tutoring. I feel …
Decision making- chasing short or long term work goals Read More »
I have been taking steps to become an intuitive eater as I want to not feel rubbish about how I look. It’s been going well and all in all I have felt okay. However I cannot help look at myself in photos and feel terrible about the way I look, ive cleansed my social media …
I have listened to the evaluate webinar today and have thought about January on the basis of connection. Can you give me any feedback? Thanks Currently on day 26 so feeling a bit heavy hearted and depleted as I write this… What went well Connection with Charlie (husband) -Curry night once in month -Amazing sex …
Hi team, I am having trouble breaking a thought pattern on how I feel about myself in certain work situations. I struggle with feeling grossed out by myself whenever I speak up in a meeting. It doesn’t make a difference on how it is received, if anything I maybe feel worse if I’m told I …
Work relationships and feelings around taking space Read More »
I have been wanting to end my relationship for a significant amount of time, but I can’t actually bring myself to do it. And I’d like to get some help figuring out why I feel so stuck and what thoughts would help get me moving. Any helpful next steps to explore? I have been able …
Hello previously I asked about my autumn goal (my spring) and was really stuck with actually advertising my business… This remains the problem…So I have decided to make my winter (my summer) goal : to advertise my health coaching business. My rocks are 1) create flyers, print and deliver locally (x 400 fliers). 2) create …
I had a course to deliver which I did not stick to the schedule I set out, to ensure the work didn’t overwhelm me. Which meant I was still tweaking bits on the day and part of it wasn’t ready and I had to alter what I planned to provide. I am proud that I …
Didnt finish my work in time – again. How do I shift this disappointment in myself? Read More »
I’ve been really struggling with setting goals for myself for this year. There’s a lot of perfectionism coming up for me as I have a general sense of what this year is about and have done for some time, but I can’t seem to nail it into specific goals and rocks. I intentionally allowed myself …
Some context- Before joining the TFC I was in a position to take a professional opportunity that I felt could’ve enhanced my career but I declined to be considered due to the financial cost ( we were at the beginning all the cost of living stuff coming out in the media and I was spooked). …
Missed opportunities/borrowing tomorrow’s trouble for to day Read More »
The previous week, I took several massive, imperfect actions to get closer toward my goal for 2023 – to move to a new country and to find a job in a new industry. This is a special goal for me because the reason behind it is simply that I want to do this. It’s entirely …
I’ve been working in this role for 3 years and it felt difficult throughout. The workplace triggers my greatest fears of not being bold and brave and big enough and I can’t say no to any challenge coming my way even if it turns into invisible work and it doesn’t contribute to my promotion. I’d …
I have two different models that I would like to have some feedback on. Both of them are kind of related. MODEL 1 Circumstance: My dad told me dad “I’m reaching a certain age” and that I will need to settle down. Thought: This makes me worry about the near future and the social pressure …
Hi again! Thank you so much for your response. It was very helpful and put a different perspective on what I am trying to do. Here is what I have come up with: Goal: To learn to love myself (the real me) #1 – Physical Health – Train to run one mile without stopping by …
I have been using the FC Facebook group to share wins / selfcare Sunday and also to read other members posts and interact with the others. I use FB specifically for this group only. From using the group I had great insights so far and posting wins etc helped me a lot, however I noticed …
I recently posted in the community the following: Been here several months and felt so much growth, but today is a test. The feelings of shame around leaving my self assessment tax return to the last minute are real. I know I have the tools to avoid a full on shame spiral, but a lot …
Hi coaches, I look part in the recalibrate and activate workshop which was so eye opening and helpful. As a new member, I wanted to run through my goal for this year to get your feedback and check I’m on the right path. The 3 results I’d like to create in 2023 are: 1. to …
Thank you – this really helps. 1. Here is a model that I’v e been exploring… C – exploring relationships in the past T – we are all human and everyone can make mistakes. It’s in the past. F – forgiveness for myself and others A – stop reuminating on the past and looking for …
Hi, I’m coming back nearly a month later. I have been wobbling around confidence and anxiety around my work, and I am coming back to an anxiety moment again. I’ve noted that it’s nearly a month since the last time, as I had a hysterectomy last summer. I still have my ovaries, but no idea …
Last summer, after ruminating about this for quite a while, I asked my boss for more responsibilities in order to use my full potential and to keep growing. And I also asked for a promotion. My boss was very surprised by me requesting a promotion as before I had just quietly been doing my thing …
First of all, this topic is something that makes me feel really ashamed as it is not what others see of me or how I want to be. We have a room in our house called the “junk room”. It is supposed to be my studio but it’s ended up being a dumping ground. Mostly …
I realised my last submission was all over the place (I think it represents how scattered I feel at the moment) so I have done a new one. Just catching up on the winter workshop and now am reaching out for some goal guidance. A lot of Anna’s coaching resonated with me. I realised I …
Hello! I am having trouble finalizing my goal and rocks for the year. I was diagnosed with autism about a year and a half ago and have been working on unmasking and figuring out who I am. I want this year to be about really knowing myself and loving that person. I am stuck on …
Hello again, I am working towards my goals that I set in January- I chose the word “Shine”. So far I’ve been really pleased with all the progress I have made regarding my goals. However, I have noticed that lots of the professional aims I have relate to being recognised- winning awards, getting featured etc …
My partner and I had a frank conversation that was long overdue a few months ago regarding children; he admitted that he didn’t really want them though for my sake would try. We have known each other for almost 3 years and married for more than 2 of those years. Within two weeks of meeting …
I would like to reflect on a situation that has been going on for the last few months and my thoughts that created this situation to see what I can learn from it. I’ve already submitted a few questions related to this. There is this guy / man working at my local supermarket. At some …
Hi Coaches Needs & Desires – I’ve been tracking my cycle now since November & realised that when it came to writing down my needs & desires I really struggled to write something down, I’ve recently had a breakthrough & have been able to add words like Care & Love , it felt nice to …
I’m getting stuck on which goal I should choose. I got to a place last year where I began to make decisions more clearly and knew what I wanted. But after having some time away from TFC I now feel like I’ve gone back to square one and feel scattered again. I don’t know whether …
Hello lovely team. When reading my previous submission I’ve realised how much I’ve achieved. I don’t have doubts about whether what I want and what I do is valid. I’ve started a course to have the basis of what will be my new career. I’m loving it despite it taking a lot of my time. …
Wow, well the coaching felt very eye-opening when you asked which part of me I am believing is real – the part with stage fright or the part that is delivering the class. It really got me thinking about what ‘real’ actually is. Objectively the more ‘real’ me is the one teaching. After all that’s …
I have an urge inside me to create art and to manifest my creative ideas. After a life coaching and some homework given by Mars, I started right away to experiment with some of my creative ideas. At the beginning my mind was very active, thinking that i might just like the idea of being …
I have an on going problem with binge eating. I go through phases of it being manageable and being more out of control. Before the binge eating started I lost weight using a book by Dr Beck, which used CBT to help you change your eating habits rather than dieting and I ‘took it too …
Thank you for finding the thought that is blocking me. I am trying to replace the Thought ‘ I did poorly in the past and its cost me’ with a more helpful but still ‘true’ statement. It’s not as easy as I thought because, it’s true, I was disconnected or not following my gut. Is …
Hi, I am excited to use ask a coach for the first time and would love feedback on my one year plan. I’d love to give you some context first: I moved continent in 2021 in order to join my husband for his postdoc in the US. For a year I tried to continue my …
Thank you for your reply. I am working on creating a different story about our move. I am , however struggling with working out what I want . Maisie used the analogy of a rubber duck bobbing around and that sums it up. My head is full of thoughts but I just go round and …
My winter goal is connection and lightness. Over Christmas I felt that concentrating on connection gave my days a lovely focus and much reward and I wanted to continue this. I had self love as a goal in the autumn and connection with myself can be wound in. Lightness is something I am aspiring to …
Hello and thank you for your answer! Cognitively I know that what people say tells me something about themselves. However, I find it more difficult to embody this wisdom. My word for the year is “connected” (to myself / others) and maybe when I’m connected to myself, judgement feels less terrifying. I see this as …