Yes I am alone in this already.. I feel lonely because friends don’t understand it and my husband will leave me alone on this planet so I don’t feel connected to him about it. What I would like to experience in our relationship while he is alive is fun and pleasure. We tend to be …
Yes I can see that the burden of keeping my husband alive makes my life terrible. But my brain goes into discussion with you: ‘My life is even more terrible if I could prevented him from dying and I did nothing!!’ When I think I am in charge of his stress levels I notice my …
Dear coaches, At the moment I am 8 weeks pregnant with my second child. I am happy with the pregnancy and was longing for it for a long time, but the last three weeks I am really struggling. I am tired, I have nauseas and the most difficult thing is that I don’t enjoy anything. …
How to take care of myself in first weeks of pregnancy? Read More »
Thank you for your kind words. I’m so grateful for this space, thank you (and for myself in choosing to reach out!). I find it hard to celebrate the living with pain, not because it’s not an achievement worth celebrating (because it is) but because I don’t have a choice. I’m just surviving and not …
I am writing this from my bed when not being at work. I also posted this one in the community and got some great response from Maisie. I would love to take this one deeper and explore it further here in AAC. Last week I called myself in sick at work for three days. Due …
Hello! I’ve been leaning into decisions from the perspective of ‘what is the most loving thing to do right now’, as well as journalling of an evening of where I could have loved myself more, and simple things I could have done differently. One sticky place when I’m feeling these questions hard to nail is …
What’s the most loving thing? Conflicting care imperatives Read More »
I have a lot of headaches. I don’t know why – I think they are muscular/ whiplash/ grinding /hormone/ sleep related but I don’t know. The doctor is concerned about drug-induced headaches, due to the regularity of painkiller I take. I’m also concerned about this. He wants me to try preventive daily medication (I also …
Hi coaches – I’m struggling with my thoughts about my living situation and connected to that are some thoughts about my partner. The circumstance is that I’m renting a place which I invited my partner to share with me and contribute to financially as much as he felt able to. I subsequently asked him to …
Hi coach 🙂 I have noticed myself being overresponsible for the emotions of my husband. My husband is really easy triggered and stressed (just like me). We both have a small window of tolerance. We have both grown enormous since we’ve met 8 years ago and made so much progress. So that is a big …
Thank you. If I am honest I find it hard to see that it is a negativity bias playing it’s role here. I am open to exploring this further but feel real resistance. I don’t want to close my eyes for the reality. I asked myself: ‘But what is reality anyway?’ And I came up …
Hi, So I’ve noticed a creeping (potentially old fear) the last few days, which has come up with me feeling under the weather. I think I got covid a few weeks ago which knocked me out, but I seemed to recover quite quickly considering. Then I was hit with some sort of cold after which …
Hello team, I did not want to trigger anyone in the Flow community via Facebook, with this model, as I am trying to find a way through an eating disorder. I haven’t engaged with the Flow Collective wholeheartedly as I haven’t felt ready but I want to try but I am so scared of getting …
I’m finding the interaction when someone offers me food I don’t want to eat (specifically here chocolate/sweet things) tricky. These days, I try to avoid highly sweet/processed foods, as I have identified them as a big trigger for my PCOS and IBS symptoms. I’ve noticed that people love to offer these exact foods, frequently! I …
A people pleasing behaviour that’s hard to shift Read More »
Mum died Feb My van (which I rely on to be able to do my job smoothly) broke down in June, and the garage that tried to repair it hasn’t managed to fix the problem that arose after, and have been difficult to communicate with – basically it seems like my van is bottom of …
I received the news yesterday that my mom has a tumor in her adrenal gland and metastases that have spread to her hip bone (and it looks likely to be even worse than that, but the proper diagnosis is still outstanding). As I’m moving through massive waves of sadness and feeling scared, which I’m allowing …
Thank you. To try to answer the question: What do you think is the best way to take care of you when you’re in an episode of anxiety? What resources do you have that may be more appropriate than coaching to address this? calm nervous system, meditate, self care, seeking medical advice if necessary (this …
Hi coaches, thank you. To try to answer the questions: What do you think is the best way to take care of you when you’re in an episode of anxiety? What resources do you have that may be more appropriate than coaching to address this? Focus on rest, self care and being with my closest …
I am trying to improve my thought work around times of flare up when i suffer pain, not knowing when i will feel better. my default over the years has been to simply rally and over achieve or go help someone else with their needs. I then get exhausted and burn out for a time.. …
Dear coach, I joined a little late and missed the call about goals and goalsetting. I made a model from what i saw on the fb page. Now I had a thought and had quite a few things that i could pick a goal on. Like growing my own breathwork buisnis. Working towards giving autism …
Hello, I am trying to shift both thought and action patterns around sleep. I am in a pattern of eating quite late and then correspondingly going to bed quite late (e.g. typically in bed around 11 pm) and then getting up just after 7 am. This leaves me with not quite enough sleep – not …
Thanks for your coaching. This is the intentional model I want: C: My email has unread messages T: It’ll be okay F: Confident S: Warm feeling in chest A: Having regular email dates/I don’t ruminate and blame myself if I don’t do it perfectly/I celebrate myself when replying to emails/I don’t do email when tired/I …
Hi Coaches! Thank you for your feed back on my previous self coaching. I went back though and here’s what I got. I’ve noticed the time period is specific… It’s from 10:00pm -7:00am (bed time to when my alarm goes off) I feel this real heaviness to as soon as 10:00pm hits. Then no more …
I often feel the urge to sit on the sofa, eat something and scroll on my phone. Lately I’ve noticed this often happens during a moment of transition between activities or when it is unclear what I’m going to do next. For example this happens almost every day after my ‘morning’ walk (sometimes it’s already …
The urge to sit, eat and scroll: aversion to discomfort and demands Read More »
Dear Amy and Casey, I will have an ankle surgery next week to remove screws from an emergency surgery a year ago when I got injured during the finals of a bouldering competition. I have many many thoughts about this and would like to get some help on managing my mind around the topic. 1. …
Hi coaches, I have a relationship with time throughout the night that has stemmed from insomnia, panic attacks throughout the night, and fear of not getting enough sleep for the past 4 years. My autumn goal is the same as my summer goal, just refined slightly so I can focus on some specifics. Autumn 🍂 …
Hi, I would love to have a feedback on a model I don’t seem to harness. Here’s what happens, I’m going through post covid syndrome, it’s been one year and 9 months. I improved over that time, but I’m still very tired, with muscle pain and headaches. I’ve learned to rest but it seems to …
Hi coaches, I’ve suffered with bouts of health anxiety since I was a child and had various CBT an counselling about it. More recently I’ve been taking anti-anxiety medication which I came off a few months ago. I’ve had some ongoing back and neck issues recently to do with a sports injury and seen a …
Hi Coaches, Its my first time setting a goal for a season and I would appreciate some feedback and pointers on it and also maybe how I can simplify. Setting an autumn goal comes after 12 months of being unemployed, going into a deep burnout and a slow recovery process carrying the uncertainty and trying …
Bringing this unintentional model following model mastery call with Maisie. C – not taking medication T – I’m neglecting this need F – frustrated S – clenched jaw A – gather negative thoughts about why I’m not taking medication. Increase in anxiety (social too), super self-aware R – I’ve collected evidence of how i’m neglecting …
I have always been quite sensitive to noise because I hear very well and I am prone to headaches and migraines. But after a year of insomnia recovery, noise has unintentionally become my enemy number one. Which I suspect makes me even more sensitive and irritable. Maisie talking about changing her relationship with the wind …
Hi, I have noticed that I’ve put weight on recently. I have steadily gained weight since the pandemic really, and the change to wfh lifestyle but it’s probably also to do with my age, being about to turn 30 etc. My relationship with my body is a complex one. In my family, some members have …
Hi, This one feels like a random one… and yet it’s also something that’s bothered me for a long long time, actually my entire life – and it’s always coming up on my to do lists as something ‘to do’ and improve at. It’s my relationship with drinking water! For as long as I remember, …
Dear coaches, I have moved from Amsterdam to Glasgow almost two weeks ago now to start my dream master’s programme. It’s been an incredible amount of work to get here, from the application in January, to ever since then trying to get scholarships, find a flat, apply for a visa, etc etc, and all that …
How to reflect, celebrate and transition after a stressful time Read More »
From the end-of-season call, I have realized that there is this thought/belief that I have had over the summer. And I have been pushing it away, only writing about it now. One of the things I wanted this summer was rest and breading space because the last semester last study year was an intense one. …
Dear coaches, I just started a one-year lecturing job and the new semester started almost two weeks ago. I haven’t really taken a day off in that time. I feel like I’m already drowning in the workload, trying to prep new material (some of which I’m really unfamiliar with). I know I do a good …
I had close friends growing up, I love them, I loved staying the night at theirs, I loved cycling, playing tennis, sharing spaces and clothes. I loved the closeness we had. I had a difficult situation at home though, and spent a lot of time pretending to be ok, pretending to be strong. When I …
Hi coaches! I’ve been working with my nervous system for about two weeks and I can see that a shift is happening during the days. I notice when I leave ventral-vagal and can actively try to slowly get back. This works by breathing deeper, touchingy hands, telling myself that I am safe and – if …
Hi, I’ve been recovering from burn-out/ long-covid and also have a very light (looks almost like disappearing) period. I have gotten the advice from a health care proffesional (chinese medicine) to combine the herbs with some light exercise. I can’t put myself to doing it. I feel very tired since I’m now also working fulltime …
Hi! I am thinking of working less hours a week. From 32 hours to 24 hours. I work as a psychologist in a very extraverted and social job with lots of responsibilites. I am neurodivergent en highly sensitive and introvert. Therefore my job costs me lots of energy and I am often tired. The job …
I’d like some coaching on the way I’m thinking and feeling about my relationships while working on goals that focus on other things. I’m happy with my current goals which focus on my career and my health, and with having other areas of my life on maintenance mode, except for when it comes to my …
Approach to relationships when not a main focus of my goals Read More »
Hi Coaches, Thank you for all you do, it’s pretty amazing to be able to write like this and get a response! I am new to the collective, so I am not sure if I will get the structure of this right, but I feel I need to get my thoughts down so I can …
I watched the nutrition webinar today and I am feeling excited about improving my nutrition. However, I know there are some underlying thought patterns that I would like to change. I’ve always been quite a fussy eater, and growing up we ate quick meals of mostly the same things. Even as an adult I feel …
“Where do you think your relationship is with them now?” separate, clinical, mistrusting “Where do you want it to be?” kind, caring, trusting, appreciative, integrated I want to move from tolerating to liking it, to give my body nice things too.,not just functional things like medication. To see it in a loving integrated way. To …
I have some health issues (PCOS/irregular cycle and eczema/chronic skin issues) that the conventional health care system doesn’t seem to have sufficient answers to (as in, they will only treat the symptom, eg with cortisone cream, but not the root cause). I’m seeing an acupuncturist every week since last October for the PCOS, who has …
Hi, I have a group swimming lesson every week on a Tuesday evening. I often finish work much earlier than the lesson – and my brain does not like hanging around at work for the lesson. Whenever I go to the lesson I am always so pleased I have gone and feel great. The coach …
I have noticed that I am not treating my body the way I want to treat it or feel like I should treat it. I take care of what’s necessary like minimal movement, nourishment, medication, basic hygiene, etc. but I don’t do it lovingly and if it’s not a problem, meaning it doesn’t hurt too …
Hello! I’m new to TFC and this is the first Ask A Coach question I’ve submitted. My question is around perfectionism and the mental and physical toll it takes on me. I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome six years ago when I was 20, and I’ve had multiple interventions (CBT, counselling, a CFS clinic) …
I’m in a relationship for 7 years, and just as we got serious I had a hormonal IUD fitted, at the begining we were having sex every day all the time and I really felt sexual but after I while things started to dial down and when we hit the pandemic I was on my …
Every relationship check-in we cover the topic of “health” and we both would like to do more exercise and ideally would like it to be something we do together that helps us feel more connected, rather than another evening of the week spent apart (I do choir and therapy 2 nights of the week) We …
Trying to start exercising with my partner 09/07/23 Read More »
Hello, I have just rejoined the Flow Collective after deciding to leave it earlier this year. About 3 months ago, I started experiencing chronic vertigo and dizziness, it came on suddenly and it has been a really scary time. I had noticed my mental health had been declining, and with the physical symptoms being so …
Hi! I’ve been a Flow Collective member for nearly a year now, but I rarely engage/log on despite listening to Maisie’s podcast every week. I don’t know why – it’s like I am “afraid” of logging on and digging into more content. And I’m not on Facebook… wish there were Flow Collective forums on the …
Thank for holding space for me. I had found it hard to summon any energy to reach out to AAC and I’m really glad I did because I always feel so held and seen by the person at the other end of this. So thank you Amy, or Casey, I never really know which one …
Hello, I’d really love some advice/support re work life balance. For the first time in my life I LOVE my job. I went self employed last year and teach yoga as my job and I am loving it so much. However I feel like I have become obsessed with my work. If I am not …
In autumn 2020, I burned out hard while finishing my graduate studies. It’s been three years and I have the deeply-rooted thought “I did not give myself the chance to truly rest and heal”. I chose to finish my degree despite feeling terrible, something I now deeply regret, and since then my choices have brought …
Burnout, regretting choices and self-forgiveness Read More »
Hello coaches! Over the last year I have committed to investigating my health and working to improve it. I have accrued some diagnoses (hEDS and an autoimmune) and more recently have tested positive for some chronic Lyme co- diseases and mycotoxin illness, from mould exposure. I now need to remove mould from my environment. I …
I have had psoriasis for a long time. It has appeared in different places; I once had an outbreak (at a very stressful time) all over my torso, legs and scalp. It always lives on my knees and elbows. A few years ago an outbreak started around my genitals. I tried so many different ways …
I’m in my mid-thirties and friendships are changing as everyone is settling down, having kids etc. I feel very nostalgic about hanging out in groups, I get upset when I hear that some friends are meeting up without me (but I also do keep a lot of 1:1 friendships). For context, I’m also recovering from …
Hello Maisie, the flow collective team and to anyone reading. I am going through a complicated process of learning. I have long covid symptoms, tiredness is the strongest and heaviest of them. It is complicated because it interferes with my life. And now doctor says I have “to rest”. I just finished a 6 year …
Hi wonderful coaches! This has a couple of models + a brain dump of my general processing! I’d love any feedback and guidance 🙂 I intermitted last xmas for PMDD + endo-ish reasons, with the goal of getting myself to “the best possible place” in terms of physical and mental health, to be able to …
Hi, I have just come back from holiday which was all inclusive and have put on 5 pounds from all the amazing food and drinks on offer. I started the holiday in a cycle of wanting to consume, consuming and then feeling guilty about it. But by the midway point, I’d started to relax and …
Hi, I left my 9-5 job at the beginning of last year and have been a self employed yoga teacher since then. Which I am loving ❤️ I saw this switch as a way of slowing down and being in charge of my time to spend as is best for me…. BUT I feel surprised …
Thank you for your generosity in sharing the story of your experience with your child. Your are right… It was just a mistake I made and doesn’t have to mean anything about me. Unhooking who I am from the thing I did has been helpful. Going forward there are 2 things I think would help: …
Hello, A couple of weeks ago, I arrived in Melbourne, the city where I spent my twenties, for a 2.5 month stint away from my home. I didn’t realise it at the time but my intention was to come here to ‘level up’ – much as Maisie described in her podcast – to deliberately shake …
Boundaries and difficulty sharing space with a close friend Read More »
I just completed the buffering toolkit. I wrote down the following regarding eating chocolate: Around 7pm – am I buffering? This doesn’t feel right, it’s more like I need to relax and chocolate is a bad habit I’ve used to ‘enjoy’ the moment but lately I’ve been inhaling it, not savouring it, it’s become more …
Thank you coaches – this is so helpful. I’ve taken a while to come back because I find this topic quite complex in my mind and tricky to unpick! To answer your questions: Qu: I want you to imagine observing yourself in the place where even if you’re only drinking on the weekends you’re not …
I am struggling with fatigue and it is slowly seeping in to other aspects of my life and really making me feel blue. I am doing all the right things regarding diet, lifestyle, sleep habits yet still I am waking feeling exhausted. I have contacted the Dr for advice, blood tests etc. In the meantime …
Thanks for your response (see below) In answer to your question ‘why do you say yes to glasses of wine when you don’t really want to?’ I think in all honesty, there is a part of me that does want to – I want the ‘escape’ that alcohol brings. I have recently found out that …
Dear coach, Last year April, I started a patient support group for people with rheumatoid arthritis which is an autoimmune condition that I also have. We started with big hopes, with the support of a dietician, physiotherapist, and also PT. I organized a couple of events and did weekly questions, and information sharing for a …
Free rheumatoid arthritis patient group dying off Read More »
Hi coaches! I am recovering from what I believe is a burnout, that had been building up over the past years. I now feel so much better already, but I still have to be very protective of my energy. I notice that when I put a little too much on my plate, I relapse quite …
I have found myself in a funny pattern and want to get out of it. I don’t really enjoy drinking, even one glass of wine makes me feel terrible the next day – however, I’ve noticed that I keep saying yes to glasses of wine (not loads, maybe one glass a week) and I really …
Why do I feel ashamed? Just saying it out loud feels really difficult. I am ashamed because it is unacceptable. She could have been taken. I was not responsible enough to look after her. She was probably frightened and confused and I did that to her because I chose to do something socially acceptable (drink …
I want to say something on my new migraine social media account sharing my perspective as someone with migraine on how the fact that there’s no cure for migraine is not a helpful thing for the migraine community to keep repeating. However, I keep seeing migraine advocates posting about how they don’t want unsolicited advice …
Since I was a kid I’ve wanted to do work related to the environment. I achieved that goal pretty quickly and I’ve worked for an environmental non-profit since leaving university. Over the past few years I’ve become more and more interested in health. I also really enjoy the peer coaching I’ve been doing in the …
Hi, I’ve had long Covid and might still be affected by it. When I get ill, it feels like it takes me longer than other people to get back to normal energy levels. Because of it I put such an emphasis on what I do to get better. What I eat, how I rest, sleep …
I have a history of eating disorders (anorexia and bulimia) and have been what doctors would call recovered for about a decade, but last year I finally acknowledged to myself how much room the eating disorder and associated beliefs still take up in my brain and how much of an impact they still have on …
Hey coaches, Thank you for your wonderful advice to practice constraint around my self-care habits. I picked a few from my list of practices to focus on, and it did remove some of the urgency that I felt to do them all. I still notice myself tempted to take on new/additional habits, but I guess …
I’m in the same situation again and again in a professional context: I have to handle a far too high workload, go far beyond my limits, still can’t deliver perfect work because it’s just too much, and then I’m judged on the basis of my resulting mistakes, while all the effort and overtime are overlooked. …
Dear coach, A couple weeks ago, I decided to take charge of my health and address the chronic pain I have been feeling in my hip since getting it injured almost 3 years ago. Nothing unbearable but a nagging pain I had sort of gotten used to. My doctor has mentioned for the first time …
I’ve just listened to the Oestrogen Detoxification conversation with Carrie Jones and also the Q&A with Masie. They offer that the poor processing of oestrogen potentially via the 4-OH and 16-OH routes can lead to its reabsorption of oestrogen leading to symptoms such as brain fog, heavy periods and bloating. These are three of the …
This feels like a big one to write out. I’d like some help with the thought, “There is always something wrong with me.” I’ve had quite a few health issues over the years. Lots of chronic digestive issues, struggles with an anxiety disorder (much better now, for the most part, yay!), and more. Last summer, …
I had already listened to the resources you mentioned and went back thinking I might have missed something but it still didn’t quite touch on what felt like my problem, so I went back to the drawing board /journal and eventually came up with a new model that feels much closer to what’s going on: …
I am in 7th year of a very rocky health journey. Feels like I am finally coming out of the dark hole into the light. Saying that, I was not “stuck in” at any point of that, I still was challenging myself to go out, socialise, run my business, and house, taking care of my …
Dear coaches, My Spring goal is to change my goal with alcohol: – To drink 3 nights and 4 nights off – To feel more in control about it rather than a flaw on my personality. I can enjoy it without it feeling like a burden on me. – To allow myself time off/periods when …
In January I got a diagnosis of a chronic autoimmune disease. I had a few symptoms at the time, but I would have never have guessed that it was going to be an issue that was big (I was expecting them to tell me I had a vitamin D deficiency or something!). It left me …
I’ve been working on a personal project the past few weeks. It’s something I’m really excited about and I’ve been spending most of my evenings and weekends working on it. I feel activated most of the time and I’m not really resting at all. Why is this a problem? I’m finding it harder to concentrate …
Hi, Recently we had an emergency with one of our dogs. Before the emergency happened I observed that his stomach was distended and took him to the vet who said he was fine. I came home anxious knowing that he was not right. Two weeks later he almost died in an emergency surgery that could …
I struggle to be out of anxiety when there is a potential danger Read More »
While working on my coaching about connecting with people I have run into a roadblock that I have noticed a lot these last couple of months. I don’t let myself truly want things, even as a thought exercise. It started as a survival mechanism, even when I was really sick there were always moments when …
Yesterday, while riding my bike, I was hit by a speeding vehicle from behind. The driver didn’t stop. Fortunately, a man saw the incident and immediately called an ambulance. Several other people stopped and offered support, which I was so grateful for. I have sustained some pretty serious injuries, but the biggest thing is the …
Hello, I would like to be coached on two models for an intentional model. As I am new here, I hope I asking it correctly in my explanation. A friend had asked me for a favor, to take photos of her business. I have said yes to her question, from a place of giving back …
(This is my first submission, please excuse it being quite unrefined, I wanted to get it out before I talked myself out of it again.) I am chronically ill in my early twenties and have been mostly housebound for the last 5 years which has left me pretty isolated. I do have a very supportive …
Hi there, I find it very difficult to trust my reasons for cancelling work when it shows up for me. I’m a Pilates Instructor and mum to a pre-schooler and sometimes situations come up where I need to cancel classes. A week or so ago I was going through a very tough time with my …
Trusting my own decisions when it comes to cancelling Read More »
Hi there, I’ve set a goal this spring to love myself unconditionally. I have been on a journey with this, and my self confidence has improved a great deal. However, I am still struggling with my weight. I really struggle with societal views of obese people and the constant blame culture. I actually feel pretty …
Hi coaches! I’ve been thinking a lot about my spring goal and it’s all a muddle for me. I’m creating results in lots of areas I’ve quit one job so I’ve more time and space for me/studying/my business. So I feel things are falling in to place and will even more so when I’ll work …
In my last ‘Evaluate & Activate’ review I wrote that I wanted to do more exercise. I thought maybe I’d do a YouTube dance workout or try taking a longer route to work to get more walking in. I put some times in my calendar and then just… didn’t do it. The thing is, I …
Hey coaches, I need some direction here 🙂 For the past month, my physical health has not been optimal, I keep catching viruses/bacteria and ending up sick every other week. I went to see my GP and she came to the conclusion that at the moment my immune system is quite weak which makes me …
Background: I am stressed and experiencing some of the same symptoms I experienced last year before I burned out. I am far more aware of the impact that this has on my body now after doing lots of work over the past year (thought work, therapy, acupuncture, developing boundaries around work) and so rather than …
Dear coaches, I have a short question about my BBT. I’m measering my tempature now for a while. And the last 2,5 months I’ve tempatures under the 36 celcius. To be exact 9 days from the 2.5 months was under the 36 celcius and the lowest was 35.45 celcius. Maisie is writing in her book …
Background: I am stressed and experiencing some of the same symptoms I experienced last year before I burned out. I am far more aware of the impact that this has on my body now after doing lots of work over the past year (thought work, therapy, acupuncture, developing boundaries around work) and so rather than …
I know that it is normal for human brains to have a negativity bias. And I think years’ of anxiety and depression in adolescence has made my bias quite strong without me recognising things can be any different – thinking of this in a neutral way without passing judgment on myself. I know that there …