Dear coaches, I just realized something quite big and need your help with making progress with it. Basically i`ve been fighting procrastination for quite some time and its been going well, but not really. And just now I realized that a lot of it has to do with not having a safe space when doing …
Hi coaches, I would like some help on an evaluation of my self-care Situation: I really wanted to apply for a job, but realised that I also really need rest and the application I could produce with the energy resources I had left probably wouldn’t be satisfying for me. I decided *not* to apply, but …
Evaluating self-care vs opening opportunities for myself Read More »
Thank you for part 1! What I meant by the “real” thought was that in my IM I was projecting what I imagined to be a more helpful thought that would create the feelings and actions that would lead to the more desirable circumstance. However, I know that right now what I actually think is …
Hi coaches, I’ve been going through a challenging period for the past three months, I’m currently on a two-week leave from work. I’m returning on Friday which I’m feeling mixed emotions so I reached out to my manager regarding retuning to work. She was very supportive letting me know that she will be taking me …
Hello, Thank you so much for your response to my About Time Coaching question and for the thought work feedback. I have now done a thought download and have written down the things that go through my head when I am feeling overwhelmed. I just went for it just to see what would come out: …
I have two young children and work full-time. I am trying to make sense of thoughts/feelings about organising playdates and supporting my children to build strong friendships. Over the past three years, I have had periods of burnout due to full-time work and looking after my children as there was no wrap around care. I …
I moved in with my partner in the spring of this year. I have lived with one other partner before. I am noticing a lot of judgement, pressure and should-ing around the division of housework. For me, housework is not a priority and is not often something I would choose to do if I have …
Housework, the patriarchy and intergenerational trauma Read More »
Hi, I have a volunteer role at a charity, which I took on earlier in summer. In theory it’s something I’m really passionate about – and I wanted to do it. But in practice i’m finding that I just don’t have the time to give it what i think it needs. I haven’t done much …
Hi, I’m currently navigating going freelance, alongside my existing job. Have done a couple of different ask a coaches on this. But I’m now at the point where I have a 4 week window of time before xmas to gather as much as info as possible (work is quiet atm and its the perfect time …
Changing thoughts around time for the last month of the year Read More »
Hi, My work told us that they’ll be announcing redundancies next week. This was pretty shocking, but also what shocked me more was that part of me wants it to be me. I have wanted to leave for a while, and am currently setting myself up to go freelance – and there is part of …
I’ve been intentionally putting way less effort into my 9-5 job because a) I have a kid now, b) I’ve set up my own side hustle business and c) I was working way too hard anyway and eff that. There had been a situation where I was away from work for 2 weeks and so …
I am writing this from my bed when not being at work. I also posted this one in the community and got some great response from Maisie. I would love to take this one deeper and explore it further here in AAC. Last week I called myself in sick at work for three days. Due …
LOVE this. Thank you. Realised that if I’m always thinking I can’t have money and value alignment (as well as creativity, another thing we’ve discussed on ask a coach), then that will be more likely to be the result. Because it makes me feel defeatist and like it’s impossible. So I don’t take actions which …
Hi coaches – I’m struggling with my thoughts about my living situation and connected to that are some thoughts about my partner. The circumstance is that I’m renting a place which I invited my partner to share with me and contribute to financially as much as he felt able to. I subsequently asked him to …
Hello, I’d love some coaching on my propensity to be rush and be late. I have been observing this over the last few weeks especially, as it is something I have recently been trying to address, but I still end up rushing and arrive bang on time or a few minutes late. So there are …
Hi coaches, I was working on the prompts from the self-love workshop and noticed that I am judging myself because I can’t do all of the following things at the same time: – living off-grid (means chopping wood, carrying water, using minimal electricity, so chores take longer) – care for a very active dog (ca …
I’m feeling quite stressed about the 30 day self love workbook. It feels like it should be the perfect thing at the perfect time for me because part of my autumn goal is to explore self love! But I’m struggling with it a lot. I find it hard to answer some of the questions, and …
Hello Coaches, I recently watched Maisie’s “About Time” call, and since watching it I have become more aware of how I use my time and have realised that I am in charge of what I do, which feels really positive. I’ve identified that my main priority right now is to return to self employment and …
Hello coaches 🙂 I have been thinking about my career/work life a lot recently. Having done lots of learning/self-reflection/becoming a mum over the last few years, I have started to understand myself better and know that the work I do at the moment doesn’t fulfil me in some ways. It’s hard to show up in …
Ready to take action but not sure which direction Read More »
I have a close friend who I started working with on a freelance basis a few years ago. It was fun until it wasn’t, and I told him I wasn’t interested in doing more freelance work. At first I used migraines and my health as an excuse and told him I was too sick to …
This is my November goal, I would love to know if you have any builds? Goal: Practice taking more time for myself to move my body. Rocks: – practice by taking small amounts of time – be curious by trying it even when it feels wrong – do thought work around feeling guilty – Use …
Hello coaches, So I have recently been diagnosed as perimenopausal at 40 and started HRT a week ago. I am really struggling with my mindset during all of this, being obsessed with whether it’s working and feeling low about whether it’s going to work. Generally negativity. Low motivation but wanting to get back to the …
Hi, I really struggle to tell my boss when he’s pushing too much onto me. I never ask for help. It never even occurs to me to ask. How do I stop this negative cycle in my life? Answer: You could start by noticing how you are telling this story about yourself. What …
Hi Coaches, I am practicing not being overly responsible but what I have noticed is that when I do take a step back (even though in my head it’s screaming “let’s do x”) a LOT of the times things go wrong. 🤣 It’s usually not the worst things in the world but every time it …
“What is the simplest way you could measure this for yourself?” I guess just feeling is the easiest way to measure this? “Don’t get too stuck on the “how” if it’s feeling like an obstacle. Trust that an answer will come to you.” I have trust this in the past but it didn’t came. How …
Thank you so much for your answer. I love the R line you suggested for the intentional model. I really like the idea of using this whole process of publishing my thesis to come to terms with the period during which I worked on my PhD thesis. At the moment, I often waive it off …
Hi, I have been meaning to write about this for so long, but have put it off telling myself its too messy and confusing, but I could really use some help on this! Basically I am a creative, and last year I really needed some more income to support myself as being in the music …
Hi. I work with our family business. A farm. My father has run it for 40 years and since an illness has needed to step back. I’m now helping to manage things; working with my mum (🤪) and a few others with whom my dad has worked with for years. They aren’t employees but freelance, …
Feeling stuck with wanting to make changes in Family Business Read More »
Oh. My. God. Your answer really blowed my mind! Positive and negative. I feel SO uncomfortable and SO excited but I will take responsiblity for my own emotions here 😉 (Of course). My brain was expecting (subconcious I guess because I didn’t think of it when sending it, but now it shows me it does) …
Relationship With My E-Mail Inbox At Work Part 2. Read More »
I want to share something here I also posted in the community. I like to hear feedback from a coach on it 🙂 It is about moving goal posts while achieving goals, so that it will be unachievable to reach a goal because the posts moves further away. But also about defining my goal more. …
Hello! One of the main reasons that I decided to sign up to join The Flow Collective in the first place is because over the past 12 months, my thought patterns / focus / things I thought were important / things I didn’t think were important / even values to some extent, seem to have …
C: i have a project I am not working in T: I am spinning F: confused S: throat pain, forehead compression , chest collapse, sighs A: I look for more external validation, what others are doing, how are they doing it, this involves scrolling and eventually signing up for a new course to educate myself …
Searching always for more education instead of starting a project myself Read More »
Thank you so much for your answer. I thought about the different aspects you mentioned: How do you feel when you think about taking Mondays off? Well, I’ve already asked for Mondays off until the end of the year, and surprisingly, I encountered very little resistance. The upcoming Monday is my first Monday off. I …
I don’t think I’m managing this wrong necessarily. I think I could choose to post on the Instagram account or not and it wouldn’t mean anything either way. I’m just noticing the feeling of disappointment about not posting. Over the summer I took steps to make the app less addictive so I can share there …
Dear coach, While I was setting my goals for this season I realized that I chose a trekker/ hiker pace although some might think I have many projects on my plate (new job, learning a new language, applying for citizenship, planning a 3m overseas trip with partner and friends, getting my health back after years …
[setting my goals keeping in mind of cycles burning out in the past] Read More »
Dear coach, I recently gifted myself a fully remote job with lots of flexibility & benefits and I quite enjoy the job after years in academia and years of burnout cycles. Thanks to the time hackers, I have been feeling much better about slowing down and taking time off, most importantly starting the work day …
Dear coaches, thanks for your help on part one of this question! Here’s something of a follow-up. Through writing, I’ve discovered that I’ve been getting more easily frustrated at work because it’s unsatisfying and unstable. There isn’t much for me to do since the structure of the company changed a few months ago, and I, …
Thank you for your birthday wishes and your answer. It was my birthday yesterday. It was a really nice day. Before the day, I decided that my birthday doesn’t have to be perfect and that the number of messages I receive doesn’t mean so much. I was a bit emotional in the morning but didn’t …
Hello, I am trying to shift both thought and action patterns around sleep. I am in a pattern of eating quite late and then correspondingly going to bed quite late (e.g. typically in bed around 11 pm) and then getting up just after 7 am. This leaves me with not quite enough sleep – not …
Hi, (This might seem like a random one, but I think I’m making it mean more than it is – so would appreciate any guidance!) A few months ago, a friend of a friend got in touch to ask if I’d be up for dog sitting their dog once a week, as they had a …
Thanks for your coaching. This is the intentional model I want: C: My email has unread messages T: It’ll be okay F: Confident S: Warm feeling in chest A: Having regular email dates/I don’t ruminate and blame myself if I don’t do it perfectly/I celebrate myself when replying to emails/I don’t do email when tired/I …
Hi – thanks for your response to this one! The questions you asked were really interesting. When I thought about how they’re not true and how is this belief keeping me stuck where I am, I came up with the following: 1. If I am organized at work I should be organized at home. – …
Help Managing Overwhelm Around Life Admin – pt 2 Read More »
Hi Coaches, Im practising my first few models here on a situation that I find very tough. I have been not working for a year now due to Burnout. At the end of the year my benefits will run out and as I have been feeling a little better I am craving some routine, normality …
Hi there, I am curious if my autumn goal is clean or dirty. This is my goal: Goal 🥅: to have a daily work-email routine/date!!! Why: because email gives me so much pressure and I would love to have this more structured and light. Rock 🪨: Having an email-date everyday for not more half hour …
What happens if the circumstance is affecting another circumstance? Let me give an example of something I’m working on using The Model. I’m new to the collective. So not sure if this is for here. I have a client who takes up a lot of mental real estate (read this this morning in the new …
Hello dear coach, For some context my summer goal is too make writing my master’s thesis an enjoyable process. My rocks are to: 1) to let go of perfectionism, 2) to take exquisite care of myself and be compassionate towards myself. Today I received feedback from my academic supervisor that feels quite heavy and challenges …
C: Tired and scrolling on social media to pass the time T: I don’t want to be doing this F: Confused S: Heaviness, a sense of panic A: I end up getting nothing done. Or making up tasks I think I should be doing. Or I just continue to go round and round checking the work …
C: Husband is ill T: I have to do everything F: Overwhelmed S: tight chest, knot in chest, tight brow, brain fuzz, want to explode A: go into action mode, don’t want to stop to be affectionate or friendly, feel cross when people slow me down, snappy with daughter R: Close myself off from family …
Hi coaches, Having applied for a more general teaching assistant role, I have been offered a job as a 1-2-1 support for a child with learning difficulties. I hestiantly accepted even though I wasn’t sure because I felt under pressure and slightly rail roaded into it. I’m now having a big fight/flight response – I …
All this time I haven’t used AAC but now that I actually planned to cancel my membership, I find myself here. I always continued my membership because I told myself I’d attend to all the valuable insights in the next membership cycle. However, especially the last 3 months were the worst – I didn’t attend …
Hello Coaches! It is absolutely great to be part of the collective.. I have watched the replay of Model Mastery: Self-Coaching Simplified from the 24/09 and posting my very first model here as Maisy asked us to (I don’t have facebook so don’t have access to the community) . I would love to have your …
I have been working as a freelancer for 2 years. Recently it has become a bit more clear how exactly my clients benefit from working with me (I knew it was useful but couldn’t quite put my finger on it). I decided to build a website and asked for some help with it. I would …
Bringing this unintentional model following model mastery call with Maisie. C – not taking medication T – I’m neglecting this need F – frustrated S – clenched jaw A – gather negative thoughts about why I’m not taking medication. Increase in anxiety (social too), super self-aware R – I’ve collected evidence of how i’m neglecting …
From the model mastery workshop today, here is my free writing download and my unintentional model. The desired result I want is to be able to face work this week and get the slides done without getting upset, and staying focused on keeping things simple. On Friday I got really upset at the end of …
Thank you so much for the coaching it prompted a storm of journaling. I see now that attaching my self worth to writing has put way too much pressure on it. I have been approaching my writing goal with too much neediness. I want to detach my worth from my productivity and also my creativity …
Hello, this submission is inspired by two submissions from other members that really resonated with me. One was about not putting your life on hold during the semester and teaching responsibilities. And the other one was about not feeling like you have to be productive 100% of the time during your working hours. With regard …
Hi! I have been feeling very disorganised recently / overwhelmed by life admin… such as emails, and the amount of random notes and to do lists on my phone. When I’m trying to be organised at work, I have strategies for this, and am pretty good at staying on top of things. But in my …
Hi there AAC, I’d love some support with figuring out my autumn goal. Maisie’s podcast this week was super relevant because – I’ve always struggled with making work too much a part of my identity, and therefore responsible for my self worth. I want to change this, but I’m also scared that if I do, …
My approach to working since my very first job has been that I need to be productive for 100% of the hours I am being paid to work. If I chitchat with a colleague or take a break to go for a walk I take a mental note of the break time and then make …
Dear coaches, I have moved from Amsterdam to Glasgow almost two weeks ago now to start my dream master’s programme. It’s been an incredible amount of work to get here, from the application in January, to ever since then trying to get scholarships, find a flat, apply for a visa, etc etc, and all that …
How to reflect, celebrate and transition after a stressful time Read More »
Hello coaches, So I am new ish to the concept of working with your seasons and have just watched Maisie’s workshop of each season and how to work with it. So much resonates with me and I cannot wait to implement what I have learned soon. However, I would like some advice around navigating Autumn …
From the end-of-season call, I have realized that there is this thought/belief that I have had over the summer. And I have been pushing it away, only writing about it now. One of the things I wanted this summer was rest and breading space because the last semester last study year was an intense one. …
Dear coaches, I just started a one-year lecturing job and the new semester started almost two weeks ago. I haven’t really taken a day off in that time. I feel like I’m already drowning in the workload, trying to prep new material (some of which I’m really unfamiliar with). I know I do a good …
Hello, I think this thought ‘I shouldn’t have to deal with this’ is underlying how i show up in life and I’m not sure why it is there. I have an immidate stress response whenever I encounter it and wonder why I’m so closed to discomfort. For example if I’ve a task at work that …
I tried out the thought ‘I can write anywhere anytime’ and while I do mostly believe this is true I still haven’t been doing the writing… I feel like something else is blocking me. I did a thought download and realised that I have attached a lot of my self worth as a person to …
Hi! My goal for autumn is going to be the same as the one I had in summer, because I didn’t make it happen. This was partly due to some external changing factors (such as moving house, which took up over a month, and holidays) that I hadn’t planned for. As well as some recurrent …
Struggling to (convincingly!) believe that goal is possible Read More »
Thank you for this coaching! Very helpful (love the dominos metaphor ahah) – and in the last week, I do feel like I’m getting into the flow of things again and taking more action, which feels exciting. Something I’m noticing is that I have some fears around this loss of momentum and having it again, …
Hi there! I am beginning to work with setting goals for each cycle and am a little confused about which are my goals and which are my rocks – I’d really appreciate some feedback/advice please! So far I have my main goal for this cycle: to get started with my PhD Fieldwork. (nb. I’m already …
Hello lovely coaches! I’m returning to uni (yeyyyyy!!!!!!!!!) after intermitting. One of the accommodations I’m going to have in place is “double time”. This involves splitting each year of the course over multiple years, to account for a reduced working capacity. The specific split is decided by me and my director of studies, based on …
Dear Coaches I have been thinking and working on my relationship with work a lot recently. After burning out in 2017, I identified a lot of my patterns, like how much my self worth is connected to achievements at work, hyperindependence and perfectionism. After coming out of a period of intense work stress recently this …
In January my partner and I moved into a new (bigger) house and since then a close friend has been living with us. This is partially why we bought this house with more space, bc we liked the idea of cohabitation. It has been fun in some ways, but also an adjustment. The initial difficulties …
I’d like some coaching on this thought I have that my results are not congruent with the image I have of myself. I’m a type of coach (alongside my paid employment), and I have done a massive amount of work on myself to think about myself as a coach. I struggled with feeling ‘not enough’ …
Coaches, I’ve not done this before – I need help with different model but revolving a same situation. It’s still on the feature pieces that I have to write, and dealing with my editor. Again, the team has to work through these pieces rather quickly and always towards the end of a very demanding week. …
Anger, being made to feel irrelevant and the annoying editor. Read More »
Hi coaches, I need some coaching on a situation which has been recurring for more than a year plus now. It’s on feature pieces that I have to write, an editor who makes many changes and me needing to pay attention late on a Friday night when the pages are sent for print. This happens …
Tiredness, recognising limits and dealing with annoying editor. Read More »
I am wondering if you can give me some advice about handling the feeling of overwhelm. Sometimes when I feel like I have so much to do, I get overwhelmed and even when I pick things off the list in a calm, orderly fashion, it seems like the list keeps getting longer. Sometimes I feel …
I had a huge insight this week and after the coaching I got back from AAC. The reason I want to work less also has to do with me not believing I am capable of changing in my behaviours: taking more breaks, saying no more often, setting strong boundaries in work-time. When I imagine myself …
Hi, I’ve been recovering from burn-out/ long-covid and also have a very light (looks almost like disappearing) period. I have gotten the advice from a health care proffesional (chinese medicine) to combine the herbs with some light exercise. I can’t put myself to doing it. I feel very tired since I’m now also working fulltime …
Hi! I am thinking of working less hours a week. From 32 hours to 24 hours. I work as a psychologist in a very extraverted and social job with lots of responsibilites. I am neurodivergent en highly sensitive and introvert. Therefore my job costs me lots of energy and I am often tired. The job …
Thanks for the coaching it was really helpful. It’s funny when you asked where my beliefs of needing a daily writing practice came from the first thing I thought of was a girl at university asking me what I wanted to be. I said I thought I’d like to be a writer. She asked me …
I’d like some coaching on the way I’m thinking and feeling about my relationships while working on goals that focus on other things. I’m happy with my current goals which focus on my career and my health, and with having other areas of my life on maintenance mode, except for when it comes to my …
Approach to relationships when not a main focus of my goals Read More »
Apologies if this is a bit of a mess. I’m not really sure where to start. I want more than anything to be writing everyday but I’m not doing it. I want to take action in lots of areas of my life but find myself stuck in procrastination and just being swept along. I’m a …
My summer goal was to complete my complementary therapy diploma and create space to connect with my family in the holidays. The summer workshop made me see I’d made the goal. I was living in the goal. I’d done it. I buckled down pre school break up and got my 200 case studies complete. I …
Hi, I set myself a 30 day challenge of not picking up after my children (aged 10, 12 and 14) in order to free up my time and my limited energy to tidy up after my self (my bedroom is not prioritised and receives all the junk in a small house so I can keep …
Reviewing my 39 day challenge because of sensory needs Read More »
In January, I agreed to participate in a 10min roundtable discussing work that I was involved in. At the time, I asked the organiser to contact me in May to discuss plans and confirm participation. Last Friday, I received an email regarding the event and found that my contribution appears to be a 90min lecture …
Thanks for you coaching. You asked what DO I want in my relationship with whatsapp now I know what I don’t want. I did some IM on it: C: having 38 unread messages on my whatsapp T: ? F: connection A: ? R: Having a relaxed relationship with whatsapp I thought a lot about it …
For years I have struggled with Mondays – I have tried lots of different strategies but try as I might I very often end up in the same place of dread which then leads to me freezing and being unable to take action. I work for myself and run my own nutrition coaching business which …
Hi, Thanks for your response. I decided since after doing the summer workshop to start producing music myself, and focused on making one song sound great, rather than the quantity. There’s been a lot of thoughts come up around me doing this, one of which is “my management don’t want me to do this, and …
Hi, I’m just sitting with an awful feeling at the moment after having been asked if I wanted to work with someone and saying no. I take my time and energy very seriously and is quite particular about how I spend it. I was asked by my management which I’ve had for about 6 months …
Hi 😊 The last coaching asked “In what ways is how you’re making decisions now aligned or misaligned with what you truly value and want for yourself long term?”. Most of my actions are aligned (yey!), but in the misaligned column I wrote “Ongoing perfectionism, hyperfocus and anxiety”, as well as “time anxiety and the …
When I listen to massive action and honouring your yeses, and goals podcasts I keep replaying a current idea of setting up a small business venture to take me away from my 9-5. What stops me is spending money to set it up (as well as fear of failure, other people’s opinions,time etc). Am I …
Thank you so much for your answer. I love the idea of “I can’t afford not to rest”. It made me smile because it’s such a simple thought which makes such a difference 🙂 And I have felt the consequences of not resting enough before. So I think having this as my mantra will be …
I have been considering joining a small WhatsApp study group, a first for me since I have always done all my uni work alone. Looking at it from a pro-con standpoint it makes sense, the worst that can happen is that I feel certain feelings, but I am still hesitating. I somehow have this weird …
how to know that it’s the right time to deal with something Read More »
Hello coaches, I have a question for you around pressure. I am working on a number of goals that are really important to me- one is a work goal and the other a personal goal. I feel like I want to achieve them so bad that I put a lot of pressure on myself to …
Hi, I’.m currently navigating a new step in my career, to go freelancer as a writer and workshop facilitator. I have vast experience in both of these areas from the last 7 years in my career, as well as many of the necessary contacts. However, I feel like I’m still experiencing some fears around putting …
Dear coaches, thanks for taking time to read this. It’s something that has felt heavy for a long time. Last night I had a dream: I was on a ship with my partner. The ship had arrived on our destination and we were suppossed to come to exit the ship. However, we had so much …
Hello, I have taken some time off work this week. I’m not going away and would like to use this time to rest as it is my first whole week off this year. However, I always find it very difficult to rest. I have planned some activities for this week but I’m noticing that I’m …
Hi Coaches I easily become overwhelmed with day to day tasks. This could be around taxes, other paperwork, cleaning, food shopping, tidying. I have been trying some thoughtwork on “I get to do these things” or being kinder on myself around what I put on my to do plate and doing less. I am suffering …
I think my standards of social media are actually pretty high and that I feel like I can’t live up to that standards I have. The standards are: – Reply within maximum 1 day – Reply as soon as possible at important messages (other people sharings their emotions with me or invitations) – Sending birtday …
I’ve been learning banjo for nearly a year and lately I’ve not been practising as much and I’ve been showing up to lessons without having learned the tune very well. I stumble through the tune and I don’t get much praise from my banjo teacher. Then he starts to teach me a new tune (but …
Hi there I don’t know exactly how or why it started but I am experiencing a lot of resistance to journaling and it’s become (or my brain made it) problematic for me. I know it’s a great tool that could massively help me with processing emotions, managing my mind and self-coaching. When I did do …