Hello lovely coaches! I am going to negotiate a raise for the next year and the meeting I expect will take place within the next two weeks. I work as a sales Manager and I have been with my company from the start of my career (over 10 years.) I am actually quite happy with …
Hi dear coaches, Just today I heard from a colleague who is a bit more senior than me that she is at the last step of a big application grant. I told her I am really excited for her and that I will be there when she presents it asking for feedback. Her response sort …
Colleague submitting a funding proposal with a theme close to mine Read More »
Work is currently really stressfull with talk of cuts, closure, cutting hours and potential redundancy. It feels like theres is lot so weight and responsibility on my shoulders in terms of what i could have done to have meant the charity was in a stronger position financial. I’m beating myself a lot and feeling really …
Thank you so much for your answer. In the past, when I’ve had the thought “it’s unfair” it made be depressed. I often thought “what’s the point anyway because my brother will always get more praise / attention (from my parents) no matter what I do”. So I think I want to avoid the thought …
Thoughts About My Brother’s Career And Life Pt III Read More »
Hi coaches, I would like some help on an evaluation of my self-care Situation: I really wanted to apply for a job, but realised that I also really need rest and the application I could produce with the energy resources I had left probably wouldn’t be satisfying for me. I decided *not* to apply, but …
Evaluating self-care vs opening opportunities for myself Read More »
Thank you for part 1! What I meant by the “real” thought was that in my IM I was projecting what I imagined to be a more helpful thought that would create the feelings and actions that would lead to the more desirable circumstance. However, I know that right now what I actually think is …
Please can you help me with a model I am working on. I would like to created an intentional model where the result is me practising self-love at work. The unintentional model I have so far is: C – Communicating information/providing an update in a team meeting and I got lots of questions and comments …
Hi coaches, I’ve been going through a challenging period for the past three months, I’m currently on a two-week leave from work. I’m returning on Friday which I’m feeling mixed emotions so I reached out to my manager regarding retuning to work. She was very supportive letting me know that she will be taking me …
I am currently covering another role that involves preparing materials and running meeting as well as using digital platforms to support the running of events. This is a role that I have no official time for and often end up doing things at night. Lately, I have made a few mistakes which are really embarrassing …
I have two young children and work full-time. I am trying to make sense of thoughts/feelings about organising playdates and supporting my children to build strong friendships. Over the past three years, I have had periods of burnout due to full-time work and looking after my children as there was no wrap around care. I …
Hi, I’m currently navigating going freelance, alongside my existing job. Have done a couple of different ask a coaches on this. But I’m now at the point where I have a 4 week window of time before xmas to gather as much as info as possible (work is quiet atm and its the perfect time …
Changing thoughts around time for the last month of the year Read More »
Hi, My work told us that they’ll be announcing redundancies next week. This was pretty shocking, but also what shocked me more was that part of me wants it to be me. I have wanted to leave for a while, and am currently setting myself up to go freelance – and there is part of …
Hi, Thanks for your coaching on the career side of things below – I found that super helpful! I wanted to come back to family conversations side of things, too, as I had a recent convo with my mum about my career. She made a comment about how I never talk about it with her. …
Conversations With Family Around My Career – part 3 Read More »
I had not even thought of bringing this to coaching/a model before but it was the first thing that came up when watching Mars’ “What’s Broken?” call on playback, probably because I was working on it today. This is also my first model. About a year ago I left one 4-day-a-week-job for a different 4-day-a-week …
Dear AAC, I’ve just finished watching the self love webinar and wanted to share something that has been showing up for me this week . I was in a meeting at work earlier this week and asked a colleague a question which appeared to be misinterpreted. I backed down from the point I was making …
About 3 years ago I quit my successful career of over 20 years to join my brother in the family business. He’s been running the company, mostly by himself for the last 20 years and it’s a completely different industry to the one I’ve come from. I’ve gone from expert to novice overnight, senior to …
I’ve been intentionally putting way less effort into my 9-5 job because a) I have a kid now, b) I’ve set up my own side hustle business and c) I was working way too hard anyway and eff that. There had been a situation where I was away from work for 2 weeks and so …
Thank you for the first response! This is the model I came up with: UM C: Thinking about asking boss to use my first name along with the formal “you” T: I might have to explain myself F: Scared S: Tight in my chest A: Spiralling thought about his response, NOT asking him R: Feeling small & inappropriate, …
I am writing this from my bed when not being at work. I also posted this one in the community and got some great response from Maisie. I would love to take this one deeper and explore it further here in AAC. Last week I called myself in sick at work for three days. Due …
Hello coaches! Good to be here again I am going to have a crazy month at work where the load is going to be massive, and I just got a promotion that also means more responsibilities and more close work with my boss. I like her as a person but I am aware we have …
I have recently started a new business teaching yoga on the side of my full-time job. I am finding it incredibly challenging to attract new students. So far my students have been friends and family, which I am VERY grateful for. But I have started charging for (previously free) classes and interest seems to pretty …
Thank you for your answer. The thought “life is 50/50 and I decide where my focus goes” has been serving me really well (in all areas of my life). It’s been also helpful to bring my fears to the surface. It has all been going quite well recently. Yesterday, I had an actually really nice …
LOVE this. Thank you. Realised that if I’m always thinking I can’t have money and value alignment (as well as creativity, another thing we’ve discussed on ask a coach), then that will be more likely to be the result. Because it makes me feel defeatist and like it’s impossible. So I don’t take actions which …
Hi, thanks for your coaching! Super helpful. I also wanted to send an update on this one, which was that I met with this old boss, and it went SO much better than I thought. She was really lovely and helpful, and seemed very in my corner. She said that I’d been ‘brave’ to go …
Contacting old boss + overcoming those fears = PART 4 Read More »
In late 2022, I was approached with the opportunity of organising and running a workshop at an event in 2024. Since then I have struggled with work commitments and have a number of outstanding projects to complete as well as grappling with some personal health issues. I have to make a decision about whether to …
Hi coaches – I’m struggling with my thoughts about my living situation and connected to that are some thoughts about my partner. The circumstance is that I’m renting a place which I invited my partner to share with me and contribute to financially as much as he felt able to. I subsequently asked him to …
I’m working on the following model and would really appreciate some feedback and guidance as I feel rather stuck with it. I have so many thoughts around the Circumstance, but they all create the same or very similar Sensations, Actions and Results. I also can’t find a Thought that resonates in the intentional model C …
Hello, I’d love some coaching on my propensity to be rush and be late. I have been observing this over the last few weeks especially, as it is something I have recently been trying to address, but I still end up rushing and arrive bang on time or a few minutes late. So there are …
Hi coaches, I was working on the prompts from the self-love workshop and noticed that I am judging myself because I can’t do all of the following things at the same time: – living off-grid (means chopping wood, carrying water, using minimal electricity, so chores take longer) – care for a very active dog (ca …
I feel really sad to see the result line is “I don’t have a friendship” 🙁 Reading it back, I think the way I wrote my first submission was a bit unclear. My friend used to use the fact that we don’t speak often as friends as a way of guilting me into doing more …
Thank you very much for your answer. What I make it mean about myself is this: “it doesn’t matter what I do”. And I think this is a thought that’s been there for a really long time. My brother got a lot of support from my father in particular, mocked / bullied me for my …
Thoughts About My Brother’s Career And Life Pt II Read More »
I identify as non-binary, more specifically as demi-femme or sometimes agender, so my pronouns are she/they. While I do not mind being referred to as “she”, I feel uncomfortable with stronger labels such as “Mrs” or “woman” or “ladies” (in a group). I work in an environment where most people are male and the topic …
Hello Coaches, I recently watched Maisie’s “About Time” call, and since watching it I have become more aware of how I use my time and have realised that I am in charge of what I do, which feels really positive. I’ve identified that my main priority right now is to return to self employment and …
Hello coaches 🙂 I have been thinking about my career/work life a lot recently. Having done lots of learning/self-reflection/becoming a mum over the last few years, I have started to understand myself better and know that the work I do at the moment doesn’t fulfil me in some ways. It’s hard to show up in …
Ready to take action but not sure which direction Read More »
Hi coaches! So I’ve noticed this thing lately which comes up regarding saying no, asking for things and taking up space. Today I went to the hairdresser cause I wasn’t happy the first time around, so they had to correct it. I felt guilty for going back almost the whole time. I also recently “rejected” …
Hi there, I am struggling with some guilt around announcing my pregnancy at work. Here some context: for the past 2.5 years I have been working very hard to get a project I wanted to work on that also allowed me to grow in my function and my salary. I am happy with this result …
Thanks for your coaching on this! This is radical… haha – to realise that I can choose if I take on another of those opinions. And also the narrative that I can choose to nurture: eg in this case, that this job has been amazing for me on a personal level (eg around my relationship …
Hey, I have been working on a book for the past 3 years and it is finally going to be published next week. I am having a small launch event and am very touched that lots of family, friends and acquaintances are coming. But, and I’m not sure if this is because I’ve been feeling …
I have a close friend who I started working with on a freelance basis a few years ago. It was fun until it wasn’t, and I told him I wasn’t interested in doing more freelance work. At first I used migraines and my health as an excuse and told him I was too sick to …
Hi, I have noticed that I have a bit of a class complex…. which shows up in relationships with people / and even what I think is possible in my career for me. My upbringing is what I’d describe as working class / but appearing more lower middle class. My parents struggled a lot for …
Hi, My current goal is going freelance in journalism. I used to work in this industry, but have been working in a different one for the last year, for a charity / activist org – which gets a lot of bad press in the media (not because it’s a bad thing inherently, but because of …
Hi, I’m currently in process of going freelance. As part of this, I want to build more of an online presence / brand for myself – as I think this will help to share my work more widely and get the message out, also so more people will benefit from it. And because I know …
I’m still struggling to untangle the writing (the thing I love doing) from a weird need for success/recognition that I don’t want to be there. I want to love the process not attach to the outcome. I made my goal to raise my self worth as I realised that I was putting too much pressure …
Thank you for your answer. I actually have a win to report 🙂 At the beginning of the week, I had a meeting with this colleague and another colleague. Before the meeting, I did some self-coaching and decided on my goals and how I wanted to show up in this meeting. I stayed very calm, …
I’ve had a situation with a colleague and friend in the last six weeks. She started ignoring me at work (I think because she had some issues in the friendship – but she didn’t communicate this to me, only one message saying ‘you realise you only ever message me now when you want something’ and …
Hello, I’ve had a bit of a tricky weekend. My week was full-on and then I also had many obligations this weekend, so I felt a bit stressed in general. But there was one incidence that really brought me down. It’s something my father said. The background story is that my younger brother had many …
Hi, Thank you for your coaching here, super helpful! A lot resonated with me. The concept of someone else’s opinion being my circumstance line – so applicable to all other parts of my life. And the thought that neither me or her were supposed to do anything other than what has been and is – …
Abandonment of creativity in myself and my mum – part 2 Read More »
Hi, Thanks for your coaching on this, really helpful. I have had a go at re-working my model into some mini ones around the desired thoughts and feelings. I decided that the biggest priorities for me were to feel powerful, well resourced with plenty of time in this 2 months, self-trusting and excited about this. …
Contacting old boss + overcoming those fears = PART 3 Read More »
I was hoping to get coached on this in a call but sadly didn’t get a chance so bringing it to AAC. After doing the Autumn Goal Workshop, I have tried to finalise my Autumn Goal, but I’ve struggled and would like help clarifying what it should be and what my rocks should be so …
Hi, So I’ve noticed a creeping (potentially old fear) the last few days, which has come up with me feeling under the weather. I think I got covid a few weeks ago which knocked me out, but I seemed to recover quite quickly considering. Then I was hit with some sort of cold after which …
Hi, I really struggle to tell my boss when he’s pushing too much onto me. I never ask for help. It never even occurs to me to ask. How do I stop this negative cycle in my life? Answer: You could start by noticing how you are telling this story about yourself. What …
Hi, Wondering if you can offer any insights into an interaction I had this week. I saw a friend of my mum’s, at an event that was happening near me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her one on one, or really as an adult myself. We spoke about my mum, of course, and the …
Hi, thanks so much for this coaching. A useful reminder not to overcomplicate things and go with what makes me feel fundamentally in my own power – which is trusting that I can handle any outcome. It was also interesting to consider that the conversation goes better than I think it will – as I …
Contacting old boss + overcoming those fears = PART 2 Read More »
“What is the simplest way you could measure this for yourself?” I guess just feeling is the easiest way to measure this? “Don’t get too stuck on the “how” if it’s feeling like an obstacle. Trust that an answer will come to you.” I have trust this in the past but it didn’t came. How …
Thank you so much for your answer. I love the R line you suggested for the intentional model. I really like the idea of using this whole process of publishing my thesis to come to terms with the period during which I worked on my PhD thesis. At the moment, I often waive it off …
Hi, I have been meaning to write about this for so long, but have put it off telling myself its too messy and confusing, but I could really use some help on this! Basically I am a creative, and last year I really needed some more income to support myself as being in the music …
Mum died Feb My van (which I rely on to be able to do my job smoothly) broke down in June, and the garage that tried to repair it hasn’t managed to fix the problem that arose after, and have been difficult to communicate with – basically it seems like my van is bottom of …
Hello, I’ve submitted a few questions recently with regard to navigating a difficult situation at work. Thank you for all your feedback. I’ve realized that there is one particular colleague I need coaching on. I’ve worked together with her in a previous job where I was a PhD student and she was a Postdoc. At …
Hi, As part of my current goal of going freelance this season, I am trying to psych myself up to contact an old boss. This is because I have realised I need to lean into my networks big time, as it will really help me in this industry, in terms of connections and advice. When …
Thank you for your answer. In the long term, I want to change my circumstance. The project ends anyway so there will be changes. However, I want to / have to / will work together with them for a few more months. And I would love to pick up your suggestion and make it more …
Hi. I work with our family business. A farm. My father has run it for 40 years and since an illness has needed to step back. I’m now helping to manage things; working with my mum (🤪) and a few others with whom my dad has worked with for years. They aren’t employees but freelance, …
Feeling stuck with wanting to make changes in Family Business Read More »
Oh. My. God. Your answer really blowed my mind! Positive and negative. I feel SO uncomfortable and SO excited but I will take responsiblity for my own emotions here 😉 (Of course). My brain was expecting (subconcious I guess because I didn’t think of it when sending it, but now it shows me it does) …
Relationship With My E-Mail Inbox At Work Part 2. Read More »
I want to share something here I also posted in the community. I like to hear feedback from a coach on it 🙂 It is about moving goal posts while achieving goals, so that it will be unachievable to reach a goal because the posts moves further away. But also about defining my goal more. …
I am quite active in setting up new things at work for the community, and I’d applied to set up a new initiative. This was around a topic which some people in the workplace find controversial, but it’s not really at all. I guess some people have sensitivities about it. The initiative was rejected by …
Hello, I would love some help. I have submitted and defended my PhD thesis almost three years ago. Now I need to publish my PhD thesis since it is a formal requirement to publish the thesis. I’ve even made space in my schedule for this task. However, I find it so difficult to start. I’m …
C: i have a project I am not working in T: I am spinning F: confused S: throat pain, forehead compression , chest collapse, sighs A: I look for more external validation, what others are doing, how are they doing it, this involves scrolling and eventually signing up for a new course to educate myself …
Searching always for more education instead of starting a project myself Read More »
Thank you so much for your answer. I thought about the different aspects you mentioned: How do you feel when you think about taking Mondays off? Well, I’ve already asked for Mondays off until the end of the year, and surprisingly, I encountered very little resistance. The upcoming Monday is my first Monday off. I …
I don’t think I’m managing this wrong necessarily. I think I could choose to post on the Instagram account or not and it wouldn’t mean anything either way. I’m just noticing the feeling of disappointment about not posting. Over the summer I took steps to make the app less addictive so I can share there …
Hi, thanks for your insights, that’s really interesting. Here are my answers to the qus: What kind of relationship do you want to have with your parents? One that is close, while still being healthy. Where I can show up as my full, authentic self – without fear of rejection, and feeling loved unconditionally. Where …
Conversations With Family Around My Career – part 2 Read More »
Dear coach, I recently gifted myself a fully remote job with lots of flexibility & benefits and I quite enjoy the job after years in academia and years of burnout cycles. Thanks to the time hackers, I have been feeling much better about slowing down and taking time off, most importantly starting the work day …
Thank you for your answer. First of all, I’ve admitted to myself how difficult I find the situation at work at the moment. I’m going to allow myself more time to process these emotions and regulate my nervous system. I’ve also thought about what I really like about my current work situation and what I …
I have identified that I struggle with a new aspect of my identity. I am a qualified Counsellor and have started my own counselling private practice. I notice that my actions are showing up a lot of discomfort about this ‘professional’ status. I don’t feel I can own it, and I want to be able …
Dear coaches, thanks for your help on part one of this question! Here’s something of a follow-up. Through writing, I’ve discovered that I’ve been getting more easily frustrated at work because it’s unsatisfying and unstable. There isn’t much for me to do since the structure of the company changed a few months ago, and I, …
There is an external colleague who is linked to a big project I am working on. Their role is as an advisor and they are from an organisation which has a lot of knowledge and expertise. There is a historic relationship between them and my boss which has always been challenging and my boss has …
Hey coaches, My summer goal was to ‘find out what I want from life’. And I found out a lot. Mostly things I don’t want in my life anymore. So I had a good tidy up. And now with all the free space , I see constantly new opportunities where my life could take me. …
Thought download: I resigned from my job this week. I finished a 10 week training with the company back in June which I was paid to do. I’d then had to interview with various clients in hopes to get placed on site for two years as a consultant. I was scared resign, unsure if I …
I’ve tried to do some coaching on my feelings and negative reaction I have to another manager at work. This manager is in a role within the company that I once did so I know his job well and as a result am probably even more critical about him. It’s been the cause of a …
Thanks for the coaching. Having gone and written a list of my thoughts about reaching out to my old boss the stand out thought was that I shouldn’t be prioritising convenience over my career. Digging deeper I think this is linked to the story I was bought into when growing up and well into adulthood, …
Hi! My goal this season is very much a career one – this 100% feels like the right priority to me, and I’m really going for it atm, and loving it. (There are many reasons for this, and previous seasons have been more personal goals, so this feels really right for me atm). However, something …
Hi, (This might seem like a random one, but I think I’m making it mean more than it is – so would appreciate any guidance!) A few months ago, a friend of a friend got in touch to ask if I’d be up for dog sitting their dog once a week, as they had a …
Hey there, I´m new to the membership. This is my first model. Any suggestions appreciated! C: Wanting to start an online health coaching business T: I don´t know where and how to start F: Overwhelmed S: Tightness in chest and upper back A: Procrastinate R: Don´t ever get to work as an online health coach. …
Hello coaches! Me and my boss have very different ways of working, and this morning she put a message in the work group chat that made me feel really guilty. But the more I thought worked it, the more anger I felt about being made to feel guilty. Now, I’ve been here long enough to …
Hello. I am a freelance illustrator (20 years in). Recently I have been working for a brilliant agency who have given me fairly consistent work. They are under substantial financial pressure due to a tax bill and being a B corp. this aside. The main illustrator now lives abroad and this meant that a lot …
C: Sunday evening: I wanted to go home and relax in anticipation of a stressful working week ahead, my partner asked me to stay and help with a construction T: No, I don’t want to but I have to, they need my help F: Anger, my needs being neglected; knowing that I did not communicated …
Thanks for your coaching. This is the intentional model I want: C: My email has unread messages T: It’ll be okay F: Confident S: Warm feeling in chest A: Having regular email dates/I don’t ruminate and blame myself if I don’t do it perfectly/I celebrate myself when replying to emails/I don’t do email when tired/I …
Exploring answering these worst case questions has definitely made them less scary and reassured me that even if the worst happens, very quickly I had an answer for each of them. Knowing that was without much time and without reaching out to close friends/family for support/discussion, also reinforced that even if I were to get …
Hi – thanks for your response to this one! The questions you asked were really interesting. When I thought about how they’re not true and how is this belief keeping me stuck where I am, I came up with the following: 1. If I am organized at work I should be organized at home. – …
Help Managing Overwhelm Around Life Admin – pt 2 Read More »
Hi Coaches, Im practising my first few models here on a situation that I find very tough. I have been not working for a year now due to Burnout. At the end of the year my benefits will run out and as I have been feeling a little better I am craving some routine, normality …
I’ve been getting frustrated at work more easily the last few weeks, and I don’t know why. Things that haven’t bothered me in the past produce strong emotional reactions. I don’t like my job, but it pays well and has helped me pay off $80,000 of student debt, so I’m still here. (I did a …
C: I organised an event alone for my day-job which I found stressful and depleting. T: I don’t feel good about myself in my day-job. F: Trapped S: My heart beats faster, I feel a tightness in my body. My jaw becomes tight and I find myself clenching my fists. My movements become clumsy and …
I would really like to have coaching around my autumn goal. Goal: I launch my Fertility Awareness course with 5 clients and support them authentically and as best as possible. Rock: Plan Launch and do it like I’ve learned. Rock: daily check-ins and self coach if sth comes up. “What’s 1 step I can do …
C: Studio Manager where I teach Yoga called, requested a meeting T: What did I do wrong? F: nervous S: out of my body, almost disconnected, frozen A: In my mind I start imagining what the meeting might be about, on the call I start talking a lot, saying things I don’t want to say, …
Hello coaches, I’d like a bit of coaching on what’s come up around my autumn goal. I went into the autumn coaching workshop with the rough idea that I’d like my goal to be on building trust in my capabilities. In the workshop I was able to define my goal and rocks, and also had …
Hi, I am having a lot of trouble with a person I am working with. She has proven to be someone who lies often many times, and I cannot trust most of what she says. I have tried to change my thought to something like: “she needs to lie to feel safe,” which does help …
Hi there, excited to be submitting my first AAC query! I have bravely (and relatively out of character…), made a recent decision to quit my job. I have a few things I’d like to explore when I become unemployed, as well as a pretty urgent need to take a break from an intense career (and …
Hi there, this is my first time submitting to AAC! I found the Autumn goal workshop last week really helpful and left it feeling very inspired, but since then I’ve gone back into overthinking patterns about my goal and intentions. For some context, I’ve been working in the same team for the past 8 and …
Hi there, I am curious if my autumn goal is clean or dirty. This is my goal: Goal 🥅: to have a daily work-email routine/date!!! Why: because email gives me so much pressure and I would love to have this more structured and light. Rock 🪨: Having an email-date everyday for not more half hour …
What happens if the circumstance is affecting another circumstance? Let me give an example of something I’m working on using The Model. I’m new to the collective. So not sure if this is for here. I have a client who takes up a lot of mental real estate (read this this morning in the new …
I did something at work yesterday that could have been done better / I made a mistake. Rationally it is not that big a thing but the way an external company has reacted is really extreme and not very pleasant. I have been trying to do an unintentional model and an intentional model but I …
Resisting the urge to re do my first model to make it ‘better’…but here is my first model I did when watching the replay of session 1 on self coaching. C: I watched and recorded auger tests at work T: I don’t want to be at work F: I feel bored S: Shrinking shoulders A: …