Hello. I would like to get help on the following topic: I am a first grade Primary teacher and recently I have been criticized on how I teach. I teach in a private School in Mexico, I myself am half Swiss half Mexican, but I grew up in Switzerland. So I’ve noticed that my “teaching …
Hey coaches, I need some direction here 🙂 For the past month, my physical health has not been optimal, I keep catching viruses/bacteria and ending up sick every other week. I went to see my GP and she came to the conclusion that at the moment my immune system is quite weak which makes me …
I’ve just finished watching Maisie’s goal setting webinar and it’s brought up quite a few things. Background: I have a background in teaching but decided to go in a different career direction so retrained and became certified in another field last year. I want to establish my own business but have been hitting wall after …
Mindset around launching and making progress in my business Read More »
Background: I am stressed and experiencing some of the same symptoms I experienced last year before I burned out. I am far more aware of the impact that this has on my body now after doing lots of work over the past year (thought work, therapy, acupuncture, developing boundaries around work) and so rather than …
I have a relatively new manager and I don’t like him. He has a big ego, waffles a lot and doesn’t make sense. He seems fake, hiding behind a suit and buzz words. He’s not interested in/doesn’t grasp the depth of the work we’re doing. He micro-manages very simple tasks but provides no guidance on …
I want to change my work patterns to a 9 in 10 day fortnight. The thoughts holding me back: It will inhibit my career. My director will think I am a slacker. I have picked up comments from him regarding the part time person in my team and the part time person has not been …
Thanks, that is really useful. Are there any tips to helping me get out of my head and into my body before seeing a client? I guess I could work on the thought that I’m pushing through a new level in my professional and personal life it’s a sign of growth rather than imposter syndrome …
Hi coaches. I’m really struggling to let go of a kind of ‘grass is greener’ or ‘my life is going to start when X happens’ story. I made some big changes in my life about a year ago and I’ve been much happier and healthier since. However now that I have some distance from my …
Thank you: I had a conversation with my husband and am proud that I waited for a moment that was calm and we were not rushed. I waited three days after talking to the school in Berlin. I was calm and prepared to just listen and not defend my corner. The conversation went well – …
Dear Ask a Coach, I would like to get some coaching on my relationship with stress/feeling stressed. I currently have a period at work that is quite busy, with multiple projects going on at the same time, all of which have similar upcoming deadlines. One project, in particular, is quite time-consuming (and it is my …
How can you coach yourself through imposter syndrome? I am self employed and wanting to take my business to the next level charging more money for my service, I lack confidence in myself and doubt that I am good enough, knowledgeable enough to do this. How can I prevent this lack of confidence coming across …
Hello and thank you so much for your answer. I think you were right in pointing out that I’ve been carrying a burden for the past few months. Thinking something like “it’s unfair that I have to deal with this” hasn’t really helped me. Though I stand by my decisions during the past few months …
I received an email yesterday that I was not selected for an interview for a new job that I applied for back in January. I’m allowing myself to feel disappointment, and in my TDL this morning, I could see that I don’t really want a new job, per se. I just want to leave my …
Holding onto a vision of what I thought my life would be like Read More »
Thanks for the useful pointers! The threat I fear is humiliation. The likelihood of this happening at my work is minimal. If someone is disappointed with me, that is their business, not mine. I know I am great at my job and widely appreciated by my colleagues. Even if I am publicly humiliated, I know …
Hello, I would love some help with my thoughts towards colleagues. I work in academia in two different departments at the same university. I find the colleagues and atmosphere in one department quite challenging and negative. So I’ve been (consciously and unconsciously) gravitating more towards the other department (prioritizing their meetings, going out with some …
Background: I am stressed and experiencing some of the same symptoms I experienced last year before I burned out. I am far more aware of the impact that this has on my body now after doing lots of work over the past year (thought work, therapy, acupuncture, developing boundaries around work) and so rather than …
I know that it is normal for human brains to have a negativity bias. And I think years’ of anxiety and depression in adolescence has made my bias quite strong without me recognising things can be any different – thinking of this in a neutral way without passing judgment on myself. I know that there …
Hi there, I started working as a photographer end of last year. I am very proud of the progress I have made, my bravery to putting myself out there and asking for money for my services. I enjoy being an artist (and calling myself that) immensely. I recently sent off a couple of galleries to …
My gut response is approval from others is what is standing in the way and fear that I will make a bad decision. How might I move forward on this ? Thank you Answer: Great insights! Celebrate your win of recognizing what’s holding you back from making your decision. When you say “others” …
Hello! I wondered if you might be able to help me with my main goal that I have this year, which is to change my relationship with success / my career. As I have realised recently that I’ve had quite unhealthy relationships with success, which have been quite extreme, either /or, at different ends of …
I have read back my notes from the end of Dec beginning of Jan after listening to Maisie talk about making decisions. I would like some help on making my decision. I want to change my work. I like my workplace (school) but it is 6 days a week , long days and I am …
I’m noticing a recurrent situation where I have a fast nervous system response and I would like to be able to respond differently. It typically happens at work when I am challenged in a group setting by a question or statement relating to work I have done, usually by the same guy – my boss …
I am a farm vet and face challenging situations commonly. I have a habit of beating myself up when things don’t go to plan. This example is a classic – I was asked to look at a calving at the end of a farm visit for something else. The farmer voiced that she wasn’t worth …
Perfectionist tendancies at work – help with models. Read More »
Hi, I would love coaching on the following situation: My husband and I moved to the United States 2 years ago, he is a postdoc and I tried to continue my medical training here which didn´t work out due to several reasons (got coaching on this before). We are now looking into our next options …
I posted in the FB group about how I realized that I was subconsciously labeling everything I do that involves other people as “emotional labor.” Sometimes, I am doing actual labor, like my job, which is teaching writing classes at a community college. I think I have been labeling many actions as “emotional labor” because …
For a while now I have been wondering if the teaching profession is right for me after all. The profession does require a lot of time outside of working hours and I no longer feel able / comfortable in giving that. My situation has changed now from when I first entered the profession living with …
I am pregnant for the first time, and really struggling with the first trimester pregnancy nausea. I don’t quite throw up every day, more often I just end up running to the bathroom and retching but then not actually vomiting. I talked to my healthcare provider about this, they didn’t seem concerned and told me …
Hi, seven years ago, my husband started on a journey to create our own start-up. I joined him in 2018 full time (-ish, as I had to freelance to make a living). We have launched in the mass-market twice, so on paper, we are successful and others envy us. We have a way to go …
I’m recently back to work following maternity leave and I’m feeling a bit stuck with what to do with my job / career in both the short and long term! I’m currently working in marketing in a job that pays ok, offers lots of flexibility in an industry I have experience in, which I can …
Thanks so much for the coaching! It is really helpful to see an outside perspective that can dissect my C, F and A lines for me. I have done a thought download on ‘Evening activities’ right after I received the coaching and one just now, about two weeks later. When I compare the two thought …
Thanks so much for your reply! I’ve written out my answers to your questions and added a new circumstance at the bottom: —What do you think separating out what’s legitimate in your mind and what’s not would do for you? It’s helpful to think that my anger is legitimate because it’s what I’m feeling. I …
Here are my thoughts post listening to this weeks’ evaluate February webinar…. What went well Connection with myself – A mindset shift of letting some perfectionism go, realise that it holds back connection (at work) or when spending time with people. Realise its compounding tiredness. A conversation with my brother helped me see this. – …
This is probably going to need to be a series because there’s a lot to unpack in this one… I hired someone into my team three years ago and have had a lot of challenges with them ever since – they have difficulty meeting deadlines, trouble prioritizing, work needs a lot of revisions when it’s …
I work in a primary school where the children can work individually, which involves much more spontaneity and individual support/help. Today school started again after the holidays. At noon when we’ve eaten all together I’ve got really emotional and asked, if it’s okey, that I take a bit of time for myself and have eaten …
I’m an Art teacher and working toward qualifying by September as a child counsellor using the arts, it’s been years of part time work and free client hours to get to this point. I’ve been contacted by a headmistress who likes the idea of the counselling using the arts and wants to think about working …
Potential new role asking for money in an underpaid profession Read More »
I often have a lot of unhelpful thoughts on Sundays. I can’t then really enjoy the day off, because I’m already thinking about the new week. I’m a teacher so it’s a lot of planning, that sometimes has to happen on the weekend too. I really try to do everything before, but I still have …
Hello, 🙂 I’m struggling a little (sometimes a lot) with imposter syndrome. I think I’ve always had this. I’ve been private chef for many years then opened up a salad bar business. I’ve always had this slight feeling I’m not respected or considered a real ‘chef’. (By who, I don’t know!) I’m not classically trained, …
I have formed an attachment to a manager at work. I thought I had before, but finding out they are leaving, confirmed I did. I felt sadness and loss. It’s an older (than me) male. To me, they’re sensitive, stable, reliable, enthusiastic, creative, they seem like a good loving father (spoken about and I’ve heard …
I work in a secondary school where the vast majority of staff are in the 20s and many of which still in their early 20s have taken on middle leadership positions. I have made the conscious decision not to – though I had been offered such a position. I have noticed this group of staff …
I am in a transition where I am starting two businesses, have just moved back to the United States, am living with my parents, and do not have a stable income or specific direction. When I think about my bigger dream and vision it is very clear. I see myself as an entrepreneur or business …
Lately, I’ve been noticing a pattern that I’m trying to make sense of. when I hear about other peoples’ accomplishments or major life milestones, it brings up a lot of thoughts related to envy or resentment. The severity of the envy and whether resentment is included or not has to do with the stories I’ve …
what do you think it means about you if you think that your husband is unkind? – this is hard as I think it means I am an idiot and have no boundaries and am being taken for a ride. I think I am a poor role model for my children and I am weak. …
Hi coaches, I’m at a junction in my life and unsure about my next steps or what my real motivations are. I stopped working when I had children and now that my youngest has just started school, I’m wondering what my next move should be. My husband works very long hours and it’s important for …
I think I’m struggling with doing what I say I will do because I’m questioning whether what I’ve planned is the best use of my time. For example, I plan to watch TFC content on a Monday morning but then question whether I should be doing some business admin and then end up not being …
I have been uncomfortable with my target audience for my business for a while now. So much so that I actually changed my whole business model to avoid them, only to have now come full circle in understanding that I cannot avoid them. It’s such a strange thing, and I’m also very scared to do …
I found myself criticising myself following a meeting at work last week. And spending time worrying about what the other person thought of me. The meeting and the outcome were fine, but I felt afterwards that I had talked too much, and wasn’t clear and articulate enough. And this all feeds into the idea I …
A design freelance job has come up with an old boss. Since leaving that job, over a year ago, I’ve been transitioning to a holistic career. Big transition, very uncomfortable at times, but I love it. I want to do the freelance job, it’s well paid, the money would give me a cushion. Also creatively …
Hi Coaches! I’m a college professor who teaches composition classes. Every semester, I teach the same topics, which feel very basic to me. Often, my thought is that my students should have learned these things in high school. I also think they are terrible writers! I am bored by teaching the same thing every semester. …
Hello team, I recently lost my dad very unexpectedly and it’s been rough. At the same time, I’m at the end of a trial period of my new job. This job currently seems rather unimportant to me, but I think that is the grief speaking. It is also very turbulent right now since there a …
Hi I’m new to the flow collective and am now into Module 3 of “Harnessing Your Hormones”. I have yet to dive deeper into any decision-making modules or any other topic. However, I was wondering if I could get some coaching regarding a recurring issue that I’m facing. A year ago, I decided to come …
It is a long one and there is a lot to unpack so thank you for bearing with me. First of all, this is my first ever submission. I am new to TFC, and I a bit nervous about being so vulnerable. I am also worried that somehow, someone I know might happen to also …
Navigating Owning a Business With My Romantic Partner – aaargh! Read More »
Hello coaches I have realised a lot of my overwhelming feelings recently have come from wanting to make more money but working as little as I possibly can. I think I’m stressing myself out about how I can make this happen. I have tried to plan my time in the week for set admin days …
Dear Coach, I’ve come across the term compartmentalisation lately a lot and it seems to have either a negative or positive connotation depending on which angle you look at it from. It is usually seen as a mechanism to avoid cognitive dissonance. A friend of mine said to me the other day that she started …
Dear coaches, I’ve joined TFC recently and have already learned a lot through coaching – both through Ask A Coach and self-coaching models – so today I decided it’s time to try and tackle a pattern that I have been struggling for years and years (I am mid-twenties now, but I remember struggling with this …
It was so helpful to identify that I rarely/ never acknowledge what I am good at in my role as a Pilates teacher. So simple, yet really showed me that I’m giving so much airtime to what I don’t think has gone well and not giving any thought to what I’m doing well. Over the …
Hello coaches! I’m a language teacher to kids and teenagers who come for one hour classes in the evening back to back. Days I work a lot I have little energy, patience and brain power left to deal with the noise and special needs students towards the end of the day and feel overwhelmed, sad …
Hi! I have a lot going on—toxic job I’m trying to leave, trying to conceive, and I was recently prescribed a very low dose of SSRIs because my coping strategies weren’t keeping up with my levels of anxiety. I want to give the medication a chance but the initial side effect is a huge increase …
Thanks for your response. Here are my thoughts on your questions. On reflection, the first goal and set of rocks works for me. It’s the second goal in particular that is causing my squirmishness. What do I see – too much; complicating things What do I think is lacking – specific actionables and outcomes (especially …
Hello, I have been negotiating my salary with my soon to be former boss over the past years. He always told me I was very (too) well paid and that it would be hard for him to get me more. I thought this was negotiation talk, there was according to me no big evidence and …
Hi there, I find myself in this situation and I did some thought work and I manage to regulate how I feel about it but I need some coaching on some parts. I have many projects running simultaneously at work, and everything that comes to me is either very important or has a ticking deadline. …
In my current job I chair a weekly meeting and occasionally give presentations, both usually on zoom but sometimes in person. My thoughts around this are things like ‘this is not my natural strength’, ‘other people I work with are much better at this’ and ‘I’m 41, I should be better at this by now’. …
My brain is telling me “I can’t do this. This is too hard.” After 4 years in the liminal space of career change, I still don’t know what I really want. I’ve been trying to experiment and evolve myself into something new, focusing on freelance but also considering going back into employment. I have had …
I’m struggling to sort through this decision- My partner and I need to rebuild our savings after some financial challenges at the end of 2022. I have two options now to support him in this 1. Get an agency job as a care worker/waitress/bar staff/cleaner etc 2. Take on more paid research work/tutoring. I feel …
Decision making- chasing short or long term work goals Read More »
I’m recovering from a burnout from work . There are many reasons for the burnout , the work environment , my people pleasing tendencies, challenging projects, and tricky individuals and tricky projects. Im much stronger now , and slowly working towards going back to work . However there are certain individuals who were part of …
I have listened to the evaluate webinar today and have thought about January on the basis of connection. Can you give me any feedback? Thanks Currently on day 26 so feeling a bit heavy hearted and depleted as I write this… What went well Connection with Charlie (husband) -Curry night once in month -Amazing sex …
Hi team, I am having trouble breaking a thought pattern on how I feel about myself in certain work situations. I struggle with feeling grossed out by myself whenever I speak up in a meeting. It doesn’t make a difference on how it is received, if anything I maybe feel worse if I’m told I …
Work relationships and feelings around taking space Read More »
Hello previously I asked about my autumn goal (my spring) and was really stuck with actually advertising my business… This remains the problem…So I have decided to make my winter (my summer) goal : to advertise my health coaching business. My rocks are 1) create flyers, print and deliver locally (x 400 fliers). 2) create …
I had a course to deliver which I did not stick to the schedule I set out, to ensure the work didn’t overwhelm me. Which meant I was still tweaking bits on the day and part of it wasn’t ready and I had to alter what I planned to provide. I am proud that I …
Didnt finish my work in time – again. How do I shift this disappointment in myself? Read More »
I am working on some models around my job and the relationship to my boss. Unintentional Model C: I work for my boss T: She wants to keep me small F: Hurt A: I withdraw so that she can’t hurt me, I stay small so that she wont really see me, I am very focused …
I’ve been really struggling with setting goals for myself for this year. There’s a lot of perfectionism coming up for me as I have a general sense of what this year is about and have done for some time, but I can’t seem to nail it into specific goals and rocks. I intentionally allowed myself …
Some context- Before joining the TFC I was in a position to take a professional opportunity that I felt could’ve enhanced my career but I declined to be considered due to the financial cost ( we were at the beginning all the cost of living stuff coming out in the media and I was spooked). …
Missed opportunities/borrowing tomorrow’s trouble for to day Read More »
The previous week, I took several massive, imperfect actions to get closer toward my goal for 2023 – to move to a new country and to find a job in a new industry. This is a special goal for me because the reason behind it is simply that I want to do this. It’s entirely …
Starting model: C: Job interview with a team I previously worked with (which makes it a bit more personal) T: I’m not good enough to rejoin them F: embarrassed A: ruminating R: more stress, self doubt, not seeing whole picture or all the positives How do I want to feel? Connected and proud New thought: …
I’ve been working in this role for 3 years and it felt difficult throughout. The workplace triggers my greatest fears of not being bold and brave and big enough and I can’t say no to any challenge coming my way even if it turns into invisible work and it doesn’t contribute to my promotion. I’d …
Thank you so much for your input on my first question. Having now watched Module 4 of Harness your hormones, I’ve done the following model for the situation with my colleague: Circumstance: I said ‘I mean… Jesus’ on a work WhatsApp group at at Catholic school. My colleague said ‘please keep this chat civil.’ Thought: …
I recently posted in the community the following: Been here several months and felt so much growth, but today is a test. The feelings of shame around leaving my self assessment tax return to the last minute are real. I know I have the tools to avoid a full on shame spiral, but a lot …
Hi, I’m coming back nearly a month later. I have been wobbling around confidence and anxiety around my work, and I am coming back to an anxiety moment again. I’ve noted that it’s nearly a month since the last time, as I had a hysterectomy last summer. I still have my ovaries, but no idea …
Last summer, after ruminating about this for quite a while, I asked my boss for more responsibilities in order to use my full potential and to keep growing. And I also asked for a promotion. My boss was very surprised by me requesting a promotion as before I had just quietly been doing my thing …
Please can I have some feedback on my models and suggestions for ‘neutralising’ them C: Flexible working request declined. Correct legal process wasn’t followed. T: Fuck! F: Panic. A: Catastrophise, over-think, argue the case in my head, worry about the outcome, don’t get any work done R: Sit in inaction and overwhelm. C: FWR declined. …
Not getting what I asked for at work & fears around that Read More »
I realised my last submission was all over the place (I think it represents how scattered I feel at the moment) so I have done a new one. Just catching up on the winter workshop and now am reaching out for some goal guidance. A lot of Anna’s coaching resonated with me. I realised I …
Hello again, I am working towards my goals that I set in January- I chose the word “Shine”. So far I’ve been really pleased with all the progress I have made regarding my goals. However, I have noticed that lots of the professional aims I have relate to being recognised- winning awards, getting featured etc …
I’ve just started a new job. And I find myself constantly thinking about work. On my lunch breaks. When I’m out walking. When I’m having a shower or making the dinner. All the time. And it’s not causing me anxiety as such but I can feel this is not allowing myself the space to rest and turn …
I’m getting stuck on which goal I should choose. I got to a place last year where I began to make decisions more clearly and knew what I wanted. But after having some time away from TFC I now feel like I’ve gone back to square one and feel scattered again. I don’t know whether …
Hello lovely team. When reading my previous submission I’ve realised how much I’ve achieved. I don’t have doubts about whether what I want and what I do is valid. I’ve started a course to have the basis of what will be my new career. I’m loving it despite it taking a lot of my time. …
I’ve been living life in an activated or shut-down nervous system state the majority of the time for many, many years. It’s come to a head a few months ago when I burnt out and I’ve been on sick leave ever since. I’ve taken time to rest and also pursue things that fulfill me outside …
Motivating myself to do helpful/caring activities Read More »
Wow, well the coaching felt very eye-opening when you asked which part of me I am believing is real – the part with stage fright or the part that is delivering the class. It really got me thinking about what ‘real’ actually is. Objectively the more ‘real’ me is the one teaching. After all that’s …
Sometimes I feel like I’m going around in circles with the same thing regarding my career, and each week I seem to go through the same worries. I really want to start making some changes in my mindset because in most other areas of my life I am feeling pretty good and work feels like …
I am really struggling with being ‘told off’ at the moment. Or that is how my brain is interpreting a lot of interactions right now. For example, this evening I really wanted to spend some time with my husband so I got the kids in bed early (he was at therapy) but I then fell …
I am feeling very stuck about a work situation and need some coaching. I work full time as an accountant but I’ve studied interior design recently and have been looking to get into the industry. I found a local staging company about 6 months ago and I’ve been doing part-time consulting work for them since …
Hi, Thank you so much for the reply which gave me food for thought. I had a think about what was suggested..what’s holding me back from taking action to build self confidence. The things that came up included.. Getting it wrong Looking stupid Not being good enough And being bothered about what others may think …
I got a very juicy one for you. I was doing a model on a specific thing that popped in my mind when I saw a creator I follow on Instagram. This creator is going through very similar things in their life as me, including potentially changing careers to a field I am currently changing …
Hello! New joiner to TFC here. I’ve just changed career. I worked hard to retrain over the past 18 months and I’m 2 weeks into my first full time job in the new industry. I’m enjoying the work and I’m proud of the steps I’ve taken to get to this point. But I’ve noticed that …
Hi, I am excited to use ask a coach for the first time and would love feedback on my one year plan. I’d love to give you some context first: I moved continent in 2021 in order to join my husband for his postdoc in the US. For a year I tried to continue my …
Thank you for your reply. I am working on creating a different story about our move. I am , however struggling with working out what I want . Maisie used the analogy of a rubber duck bobbing around and that sums it up. My head is full of thoughts but I just go round and …
Thanks very much for the coaching on pt. 1 of this question. I spent the week doing daily thought experiments where I would fully commit to either leaving or not leaving and see how the decision affected my thoughts and feelings throughout the day. I also had coffee with two colleagues I trust. Seeing how …
Hello dear coaches, I’ve been feeling uninspired at work for a while now and would like to get some coaching on this. I’ve been in my current role (my first full-time position after studying, although I worked for a few years in a different industry before studying) for about 15 months. When I accepted the …
Uninspired by work – but don’t know what would inspire me Read More »
Hello! I just noticed that I was buffering to avoid certain thoughts and feelings that I have about money. I’m going to charge a client $6,000 for a trip he wants to purchase from me and while I was preparing the link for the payment my brain went in the direction of ” they also …
Since I joined The Flow Collective and set my goals and word for the year, I’ve been on such a high. Full of energy, ready to do the work necessary to reach my goals, and willing to invest money in myself for the first time in a long while. For many years I struggled to …
(first timer asking for coaching alert – and newbie to TFC, joined at Twixmas!) I’m currently solo-parenting as my husband is working abroad for 12 days. Although this is a habit I have when he is around to co-parent, I’ve noticed it more when he is away and I have extended periods of solo-parenting. It …