Talking to my doctor about having PMDD

Hi, I am new in the TFC and so excited and like feeling hope and joy about being here :)!

I have a question about talking to your gynecologist about what is potentially PMDD. I have soon an appointment with a new doctor and I am nervous because until now no gynecologist has ever taken my symptoms seriously, which also in turn is the reason I was starting to do research on my own, came across ‘Period Power.’ and here I am :). I have filled in the symptom tracker form of iapmd.org for two cycles and have cycle tracked in my ‘cycle diary’ for more than 2.5 months now, where I gather more detailed info about each day, following the tips from Maisie Hill from the podcast and her book. So I have a lot of data to present to my doctor, but I am worried that maybe this is not the right way to go and it might come across as arrogant, like: ‘hi, actually I already think I know what’s going on, and did my own research, so please have a look’. I am worried, that again, this new doctor will not believe me and so I want to prepare myself mentally well for this appointment, so that I can simply clearly state what’s going on without going into defense but also without ‘backing down’ if I am not believed yet again. Are there recommendations on how to present this kind of data to a doctor without coming across as a ‘I know it all and dr. google has already diagnosed me anyway’ ? Thank you so much, I appreciate some thoughts on this a lot.

Answer:

We love that you’ve jumped in with this submission, what a great first step in your journey here!

So you know what’s going on, you have done your own research, and you do want them to take a look. It’s so important that you acknowledge and celebrate that – you’ve done some amazing detective work to get to this point.

What’s wrong with being a know it all? We use that phrase like it’s a bad thing but you do know yourself the most – you are the expert in you. 

It’s easy to wonder whether what we do will make a person respond differently. But, it is often the case that people will respond exactly the way they have practiced responding regardless of what we do or don’t do to try and control the situation.

What you can do is figure out how to show up being grounded in yourself. Try and answer your own question, “How do I clearly state what’s going on without going into defence and without backing down?” How would you need to feel to do that? What thoughts conjure up that feeling? How do you act when you are coming from that ideal-feeling place? How can you be a rightfully self-assured know-it-all without being arrogant?

If you don’t know about The Model yet, answering these questions will set you up well to create what we call an Intentional Model (basically setting the scene for the the way you’d LIKE to show up).

When you’ve answered your questions, bring your realizations back to us and let’s keep digging in!

(P.S. If you want to learn more about The Model, this week’s self-coaching workshop will help, and module 5 of Harness Your Hormones is where you’ll learn about Intentional Models)