Trying to understand why I feel sad

Hi lovely coaches! I’ve had a weird weekend and cried a lot both days. I’ve done two models here. The second one seems nice but I can’t get there as I know my thoughts create feelings so the sadness and tears are due to some thought. I struggle to be open to my partner about it. How can I figure out why I’m feeling like this? Deep down I suppose I’m afraid I’ll always feel like this. I’ve done thought downloads. My heads all over the place atm. Thanks for any help.

C crying a lot (felt off all day, pretty much knew it was coming, eventually did some yoga and let the tears come)
T I don’t know what’s wrong with me
F nervous, out of control, unsafe
A hug partner
don’t talk about it to partner or anyone
journal all the things it could be to see which feels right
spend time thinking about negative aspects of my life
google ‘can you be sad for no reason’
R eventually stop crying
try distract myself with going out, TV, changing the topic
continue thinking about why I am so sad
same thing happens the next day

C cry
T my body needs to cry
F grateful that I can express my emotions, kindness towards myself
A hug partner, stay in bed, drink tea, journal to see what thoughts come up, move on
R experience an emotion
give it time and space to see what comes up
continue with the rest of the day or cancel plans

 

Answer:

 

Thank you for bringing this and your vulnerability to AAC. You’re asking some good questions and doing some important exploration of yourself.

 

In your UM, your T and your R are not connected. There are quite a lot of actions in your R-line, in fact. I would guess that the true R is that you are gathering evidence to support the idea that there is something wrong with you.

 

What if there’s nothing wrong with needing to cry without a reason? Do you need to know why you feel happy when you feel happy? If not, why is your expectation with sadness different? 

 

What if you don’t need to know why you’re sad to be able to step into your IM? What happens for you when you consider the possibility that it’s okay to think both, “I don’t know why I’m crying,” and “My body needs to cry” and let the tears flow?

 

Let us know how this lands, and come back for some more coaching!