1st self coaching model

Hello, this is my 1st self coaching model, I have just joined the flow collective having listened to Maisie’s podcasts for 3 years, I have taken the plunge and am SO excited and nervous! Any feedback would be appreciated

C: MIL responded to my comment that my 62 year old friend, colleague and gardener had decided to retire as she had a flare up of arthritis in her knee. MIL pulled a face a stated she was young to retire and that most gardeners would continue working well over that age.

T: why don’t you care about others

F: Fear

S: sinking feeling, cold water feeling over body, rushing in chest

A: became defensive, angry, protective over self and family, want to shut her out, I became rude and reactive, cross with husband, over eat, ruminate at length and find all other thoughts to back up her perceived selfishness

R: spend lots of time ruminating, creates problems with my husband, causes bad air in the family, make myself more angry and fearful

 

Answer:

 

WELCOME! Way to dive in. To start, we’ll talk about how to clean up a really good first go at doing a modeling and I’ll ask you one question that will help you dive in a little bit deeper.

In your C line, get curious about how you could make this more factual. It could even sound like, “Mother moved lips and eyes, and said:…”

Secondly, try turning your question in the T line into a statement. What would that be? For example: She doesn’t care about others.

Third, double check on your F line.  Do you still feel fear when you think the new T? If not, what feeling comes up? If you need to change your S & A lines in the model because your F line is different, that’s great! If not, make sure that the actions you have listed do come from a place of fear.

Lastly, check in on how your R line connects to your T line. While the R lines you currently have listed here might all be true, I wonder what thoughts they are connected to and whether they all belong in this model. My suggestion (take it or leave it) is that you look for, and act in ways that confirm your thought that she doesn’t care about others. How does that land?

Once you’ve gone through this model and rewrite it, notice what comes up for you when you read it back. What do you make it mean that your mother doesn’t care about others? What do you make the model mean about you? Come back with your updated model and the answers to these questions and we’ll keep digging into what comes up…