“So helpful to discover that fear. Now, let’s also follow your list to flip the script on this question. What would it look like to put your energy there? What’s the best that could happen?” – Aha. you’re too good. Very good idea to use the goal in the RIGHT NOW! SO……. flipping the script on that one could look like “Surprising! It could be a right success. Imagining the best case scenario is how I make sure I feel supported in my plans and in myself, and not just picking away at them. Because imagingin the ‘worse’ makes me a bit panicked and obsessive, leaving space for me to miss out on the beauties that do arise and to embrace the unpredictability of life with lightness.”
“As with all things we do, this is a practice, not a destination we reach someday.” – good point, and an immediate show down of my fix-it-fix-it-now do-do-do mindset.
“How can you be playful, light and curious as you explore how you brain wanted to go right back to a little bit of a doom spiral?” – when i feel the pull of doom spiral, or i’m in it, i can’t see how to be playful light and curious. i’d need to have a pause first, and a calming down mechanism. and then inject a bit of fake it till make it playfulness/ lightness/ curiosity…
“Where else do you notice this pattern?” – everything… housing, employment, people in my life, world issues, world outlook.
“What do you think that’s about?” – i think it is this…. my mum and dad are quite blazE laissez faire. as a kid and teen, i would feel really worried about something and they didnt seem to care at all. but sometimes/ most times?/ i dont know how many times, my worry came true, we were not prepared, and so we felt the consequences. So i learned to predict what would happen and prepare myself for it mentally (or actually practically if i was able to mitigate anything). But i have another idea…. Maybe i was super anxious as a kid, not just as an adult. So my perspective of risk, worry, the weight of consequence etc were disproportionate to the reality. I guess a good way to know for sure would be to ask siblings.
“How can you love this part of you?” – the doom spiral part of me? aw. that’s sad. i just feel bad for a Me who is in doom spiral. it aint a pretty or comfortable place to be. So i guess it brings up for me care, protection, empathy.
Back to you! Thanks coach
Answer:
Perfect timing. Always. Love all of this exploration for you. What a huge win to be able to find all these insights. It definitely could be interesting to ask your siblings their opinions and observations. As always, they will see their life and you through their own lens. You get to decide what input is useful and what is not. How could you define the purpose of this conversation for yourself? What result do you want to create for you? How can you care for and support yourself in the process of getting feedback?
I would also offer that if you’re not sure yet about loving the doom spiral version of you, think about that younger version of you who may have felt super anxiety. What did they need? How can you care, protect and empathize with them?
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