Hiya coaches, I was wondering if you can help me with this reoccurring block I have with going into places/spaces of people I don’t know.
I have taken part in a neighbourhood group a couple of times in the past 5 months. I have wanted to go more and the people are lovely, but most of the time I was busy but I also stopped myself from going through self doubt.
It’s a bit embarrassing but I even went all the way there once and didn’t go in as it was full of people I didn’t recognised.
Sometimes I’m super sociable, but other times I feel afraid that I will say something stupid of act awkward..eventhough I know that everyone does that from time to time..and even more i like seeing that people are human.
I’m not sure how to make this into a model, but maybe

C: Not going regulary enough or at all to a neighbourhood group
T: I’m going to make a fool of myself and they won’t invite me back
F: anxitey
A: I don’t go, tell myself I always do this, tell myself that I should just get over this, feel shit for not following through with plans, feel like I will never be able to form new connections with groups of people and the older I get the more stuck in my ways I will be
R: I don’t go

Thanks for your great work..any help will be much appreicated

Answer:

You did a wonderful job at putting this into the model, and I’d like to take a moment to refine it a bit.
C: Neighborhood Group (this is factual, so omit any language that is subjective)
T: I’ll make a fool of myself (keep one thought in the T line)
F: Anxiety
A: I don’t go, tell myself I always do this, tell myself…
R: I treat myself like the fool I think others will judge
Do you see how this is a little more specific to what you’re experiencing? How does it land for you?
When you think about how you’d LIKE to show up, what emotion(s) do you think would inspire you to attend the neighborhood gathering? Try and go beyond confidence…for example, willing, courageous, brave, trusting? What might move you through the door? Can you identify any thoughts that would create that feeling for you? When you have your answers, come back with what comes up for you having created them in a part 2 of this post.