A defensive response over last minute requests

I’ve observed that I’m allergic to last minute requests, and thanks to the techniques learned in the collective, Now that the work is out of the way I’m very curious about this response, in hopes I can learn to have a better mindset. This is a growth goal that would like to work on.
When I get a last minute request which is a very common thing in my work field, the first thing I do is react, not think. I react, I get defensive – “it will be on my terms because I’m doing you a favour.” There’s a sassy, non-compromising attitude that takes over. The request can be simple or complicated and regardless it will feel unfair and imposed. I had a go at a simple model (this is the person that didn’t like models and here I am making one, what a twist!):
C: I’ve received a last minute request.
T: How unfair and disrespectful.
F: Annoyed, slightly upset.
S: Tighten chest, unrestful, yucky!
B: I “bark” at and build resentment at the person who made the request, I talk shit, I overthink it.
R: Become defensive and unhelpful and work through the last minute request with a negative mindset.

I would love to change the T line so that I can pause instead of reacting negatively. What is a better response to C? examples I came up with: “Challenged accepted”, “let’s see how quick I can get this done”, “a chance to proof myself”, “a chance to be helpful”…

Thank you for the help!

 

 

Answer:

Hooray for doing a model! The best part really is how it makes you stop and think and look at what’s happening. For an even clearer model, I would offer that you take another look at your C line.  Make it only the facts. “last minute request” is full of negative meaning to you so it will be difficult to ever get a thought that helps you.  Because you also have the thought “I’m allergic to last minute requests.”   For example C: Received email from John on Thursday at 4 pm stating a response is requested by Friday 9am.

That is a fact. you could prove it. It’s indisputable.  “last minute” is too subjective. This doesn’t mean you have to change how you like to operate. You don’t even have to change how you feel But separating out thoughts and story can help you get ahold of some of the suffering you are creating for yourself. Try doing some exploration around what last minute means to you, and what being fair and respectful at work should look like in your opinion.  No judgement, just curiosity.  See what comes up and come back for more coaching.