Accepting body shape

Hi there, I have a history of disordered eating in my teens and twenties but got over it eventually. 10 years ago I decided to no longer obsess over food, and that has worked for me. I now eat well and regularly, and I exercise moderately. (Yay!)

However, I can’t seem to let go of this life-long and unhelpful dream of being thin and toned, while at the same time I don’t even want to be thin and toned – I want to be healthy and strong (which I am). I definitely don’t want to change how I eat, and I don’t want to exercise excessively (been there, done that).

 

I believe that this dream is the reason why I haven’t done any work on accepting my body shape, even though I am aware of some tools for this. Not accepting my body shape has been causing me some pain. I know what the dream is giving me and what I think I’d give up if I let go of it: a potential future where I am thin and beautiful (although I don’t even care about this much, and also I know it’s just a thought). I also know that all of this is due to conditioning.

 

I listened back to a previous coaching call on the same topic (24. Micronutrients) which talked about postponing a goal – so maybe I could postpone this underlying dream of being thin and toned, maybe indefinitely, as I know that it isn’t serving me.

My models are about the goal I’ve set for the next 90 days. I think they look ok, but you never know! And how could I take this deeper? Many thanks!

 

Unintentional
C: I set a goal of accepting my current body shape
T: I must let go of my dream to be thin and toned
F: panic; anxiety; resistance
A: buffer – scrolling, online shopping
A: not do the body acceptance exercises I know of
R: I don’t accept my body shape

Intentional

C: I set a goal of accepting my current body shape
T: I am on a path towards accepting myself
F: determined; trusting in myself; excited
A: do thought download
A: work through a few coaching models
A: do the body acceptance exercises
R: I accept my body shape

Answer:

Great job on the models. For the first model, another R to consider is “I give up my dream to accept myself.” What do you think? 

Why do you have that dream of being thin and toned? Many times we want something because of how we think it will make us feel. For example, if you imagined feeling confident if you were tone and thin, then that is what we want. The next step is to ask why you would feel confident. The answer is the thought that creates that feeling. For example, if the answer was “I would believe that I am beautiful,” then we would know that is what made you feel confident. It is not what your body looked like. It would be what you thought about your body.

Once you understand what you would believe about yourself if you had that dream body, can you choose to believe that thought now?