Accepting my body/size

Hi, I’ve just found a new UM that has been rearing its head and is pushing me off track, it’s a bit jumbled in my head at the moment.

C Being clothes size X
T I don’t want people to see me this size
F Ashamed/Embarrassed
A Avoid social situations
A Default to laying on the sofa all the time
A Don’t stay on plan
A Buffer with food/tv
R Stay the same size/Get bigger

I read another AAC on body image and how I shouldn’t try to change from a place of shame but from a place of compassion and acceptance, but I don’t think I’ve accepted the size I am. In my head I’m the same size I was a few years ago and when I see a photo of myself or look in the mirror it pushes me into this model which stops me from making changes.

I’ve tried an IM but I can’t find a thought that would bring about the more helpful feelings/actions.

C Being clothes size X
T ?
F Acceptance/Confident
A Wear clothes that flatter my size
A Go to social occasions
A Stay on plan
R Get smaller? Size doesn’t matter?

I think you’re going to tell me that I’m letting the size I am mean something about me, but it feels like it does reflect who I am, and others will comment/judge me on it. Any guidance on where I can go with this as I feel a bit stuck! Thanks!

 

Answer:

So good to recognize where you are and understand what you believe.

First, what do you think of the result in your unintentional model of R: I don’t see myself?
You aren’t see your worth and value regardless of your size. What do you not see when you focus on your size? What are others missing out on from you?

Second, before going to an intentional model, it is so important to understand why you are in your model. How does it make sense to you why your body is the size that it is? Where do you think focusing on your size comes from?

When we can understand where we are without judgment, then we can show some compassion for ourselves. It might sound like “Of course, I think size is so important, because….” or  “Of course, I am this size. I have done these things to avoid emotions.” Nothing is right or wrong. It just makes sense.

Once you can show yourself that compassion, then you use that emotion to drive yourself to the intentional model. What would you do if you loved yourself as you are? What choices would you make if you believed that you were just as worthy now as you will be when you hit your goal?