Anger and resentment about a C (part 2)

Hello thanks for getting back to me and so fast and for the questions that helped me think!
I don’t feel necessarily as bad as I used to about having anger and resentment as thoughts or feelings .
I try to welcome them and feel all the feels. What I find tricky is when I act irrationally because of the anger and resentful thoughts and lash out on other people and then I feel so bad and shame and that I’m not living as I’d like or in line with what I value.

At the moment for instance I am having thoughts like I feel out of control. I am trying to come off my antidepressant but for what reason? Because I want to see if I can do without it if I got pregnant because I’m trying to reduce inflammation in my body because I’m trying to see if it might help my ME because I’ve heard people who have thoughts about big pharma and relying on medication 💊 but why am I rocking the boat on something that I think works.

 

Yes maybe somewhere inside me tells me it would be best if I could but I like being able to be more present in my life and be able to distinguish between thoughts and myself and be able to be grounded and open minded and currently I have had more thoughts that have been rooted in confusion and anger and disconnect and numbness and irritability.

Having those thoughts makes me feel calmer and action wise that maybe for me it is still okay to be on my antidepressant but then I have thoughts of you haven’t even tried long enough to see the difference, you’re sticking to your comfort zone but maybe that’s okay too because maybe I value my values more such as kindness but then I have thoughts like what if it’s just my thoughts and if I’m aware of those thoughts I can get through the feelings even the out of control ones and the catastrophising the self hatred and criticism and the harm.

Answer:

 

Thanks for sharing vulnerably with us. The decision to continue with or come off of a medication is very individual and absolutely one to have with your medical provider. We don’t answer medical questions in AAC, but we do love coaching on thoughts about it!

It sounds like you have several thoughts for why you think would like to come off of your medication and several thoughts for why you would stay on it. 

Other people have offered you their Ts about medication and ‘big pharma’, and their Ts go in your C line.

It also sounds like you have some judgement about using medication, so why are you ‘rocking the boat’ on something that you think works?