Approaching dating and romantic sexual relationships

I had some coaching today on the VIP call around work focuses which I am also applying into other parts of my life. Maisie made the great point about speeding up and this not being a problem as well as what speeding up now means for me. Speeding up is something I am identifying as part of who I am stepping into.

This has brought up some thoughts around dating. I came out of a long term relationship last year.

My current circumstance is exploring what I want next around romantic and sexual partners by working with thoughts and feelings that come up with it.

The thoughts and matching feelings that have come up as a result of this coaching:

T: People won’t be able to keep up with me F: Stagnation
T: I will leave people behind F: Fear
T: The right people will stay with me on the journey F: Release, trust, nervous
T: The right people will want to be with me F: Release, trust, nervous
T: I will regret not making more time for dating. F: Anxiety, urgency.

One of my close friends even echoed back to me point I few months ago around doing what I want and love and attracting through this which really resonated. I felt I have been able to give myself permission to ‘stop looking’ but practising detachment is something I am currently focusing on noticing still and where I get hung up around fixating on relationships. I have also realised, it is specifically intimacy within a relationship I am looking for after not having it for a long time.

The coaching I would like is around stepping into the confidence of forging my own path and trusting something will come along. I seem to be making it a problem that I am not making time for dating which is where I think some frustration lies, but equally highlights my priority now really is me.

Answer:

What does your brain think putting yourself as a priority means for a romantic relationship? See if you find any all or nothing thinking there. You may also want to explore your beliefs about time. How long does it take to find a partner? How long does it take for them to “come along?” What is a powerful way of telling the story of you and your relationships in this moment?