Avoiding dating women now I want more commitment

Hi,
Something I’ve noticed recently is that since realising that I’m ready for a relationship and wanting that this year, I’ve stopped dating women. I’m bisexual, and my focus has been more on dating men recently.
There have been some – pretty unconscious – thoughts around now that it’s a crossroads, at 30, where whoever I date seriously could be the person I have a long-term thing with, possibly children etc. Then I should choose the ‘easier’ or more socially acceptable path….
There are valid reasons around feeling like this – shame from society, valid safety concerns – I know. But I also feel that this is a shame.
I wonder if there’s a part of not feeling confident in bisexuality here too. Like, if I end up with a woman it proves i’m actually a lesbian (a recurrent fear from my teen years as my mum used to accuse me of it) but if I end up with a man it ‘proves’ I’m bi.
Despite having some pretty challenging experiences around my sexuality in my 20s (coming out to family, being rejected by them; as well as unrequited love for a best friend; and working in a homophobic workplace for 6 years) I thought i’d reached a point of full acceptance with myself, so it was interesting to notice that this is still there – and that I’d overcome it when I was in my ‘ho phase’ having fun dating lots of different genders, but that it’s come back up again now I’m looking for more commitment.
Do you have any tips on navigating this?
Many thanks

 

 

Answer:

What if it’s ok that it’s still there? Perhaps it will always be there. What comes up when you think about that? You have a lot of great questions here. Let yourself explore them. Lean into radical self acceptance just as you are. This is a process, not a destination.