Avoiding dating women now I want more commitment – part 2

Hi,
Thank you for your coaching on this. I found it quite a relief to accept that it’s ok and understandable that I still feel some of those fears and negativities, considering all that I went through around my sexuality. There was a lightness is realising, it’s ok to have some of that, and not to judge myself or expect something unrealistic around something that was deeply traumatic.
I also liked that it’s an ongoing process. Because I think I’d found a way to accept myself when I was dating for fun, not looking for something serious. Then this is a new stage, where I want something long-term – and what does that look like with gender and who I date. There does seem to be a different feeling when it comes to dating women and knowing that I’m wanting more. Something is blocking me from going there with them – even when I’m swiping on apps, I pause at women I fancy and can’t bring myself to go there.
I’m not sure how to navigate this moving forwards. Does this acceptance mean it’s ok to choose to date who I feel most comfortable with? Or what if it’s stopping me meeting people who I might be genuinely compatible with? I guess I’m wondering if acceptance can co-exist with behavioural change?
Any advice much appreciated.
Many thanks

 

 

Answer:

Why can’t you bring yourself to go there? Do some journaling around it and see what you find. Be curious and compassionate. How would you answer your other questions? Only you can decide these answers. There is no right way to do this.  I would offer that you allow for some magic in this process. What if you trusted that when your person comes into focus, you’ll know exactly what to do?