Beating myself up for gaining weight during time of work being main priority

Hi
I recently came out of a very busy work period – and I’m logically very proud of the wins (including finishing my book proposal)! But my brain has been coming up with some mean things… about the things I haven’t done, while prioritising these work goals.

1. Guilt about being less available to friends in the process
[I just did an ask a coach on this about not having new years plans and making it mean something about this disconnection] – but yes, there’s a guilt around putting myself first so confidently and ambitiously and ruthlessly!! And being less available to others along the way. Which looks like seeing them less, and replying to messages slower. Not deliberately, but it’s like I’ve emerged and realised all of this.

2. Beating myself up around gaining weight in the process
I have gained weight recently and this year overall I think. I do have a tendency to stress eat! But it’s also been to do with being out of routine – at points, I was going on short breaks to work by the sea for long weekends, to finish the book proposal. So I wasn’t cooking as often, or going to regular exercise classes. I’ve been out of routine for a while and had less time to think about all of this.
I think it’s so sad that my initial feeling was this. That after such a huge win, my focus was that my body had changed a bit.
I noticed it come up with someone I was dating recently, and feeling more self-conscious about my body changing and whether they’d find me attractive anymore.
BTW: I don’t think the changes have been that radical at all! But I would like to love my body for carrying me through this intense time of levelling up and be kinder to her… And not let this distract from the very real wins of this time!

I would also like to find a way of staying active while going through intense work periods in future and making it a priority in a way that feels kind not punishing.

Any tips much appreciated!
Many thanks

 

 

Answer:

Our brains are so helpful, always looking for problems to solve. How does it make perfect sense that after you’ve finished your book proposal you start noticing other places in your life that seem like they need attention? How can you listen to what your inner voice is telling you? Listen to your heart. Then start small.

What is one very simple way you could love you and care for your body today? What is one small way you could attend to your relationships? I love your idea to lead with kindness. What would kindness do?