Being told someone doesn’t like me!

It really must be the season of friendship, as I have another query on this.
Recently I spent time with a friend I don’t know as well, and she mentioned that one of our mutual friends told her she didn’t like me! It came up after I made a passing comment about not being sure if she liked me much – because she hadn’t invited me to her birthday, and I found out everyone else in our group went, and when I’ve seen her over the past few years, she never seems to want to talk to me?! I had been picking up off vibes for a while but wondered if I was over-thinking it, then it was quite radical for it to be confirmed! Made me think I should trust my gut instinct.
Anyway, it’s quite funny, because we’ve never been very close, so it cannot be because anything that i’ve done to her – it was more the sense that she just doesn’t like me personality wise.
On paper, of course i know we won’t be everyone’s cup of tea! But it is a whole other thing to hear it!
I’m also aware that the person who told me may be creating drama – and it wasn’t from the girl herself.
Recently, I’ve been invited to spend more time with a group that the girl in question is in, and I’m nervous about it – because my capacity for friendship already feels stretched. Wanting more nourishing interactions to support my freelancing etc, and feeling stressed by anything that feels like rejection….
Equally there are other ppl in the group i would enjoy spending time with. And it’s not painful or a big deal to spend time with the girl, I just feel much more wary around her.
Do you have any tips on navigating this? It seems so cliquey for adult friendships!

 

Answer:

What would it look like to have your own back when it comes to deciding how and whether to spend time with this group of people when the person in question is also present? There is no wrong answer. If you couldn’t make the wrong choice, how would you go about navigating this?