Being unaware of my own emotions in a potentially hurtful situation

Hi coaches!

I recently broke up with my boyfriend. The first time I saw him after the breakup, he tried to be super honest with me (honesty was one of the reasons I ended the relationship) and told me that shortly after the breakup he made out with another girl in a club and went home with her. He told me all about his walk of shame out of her flat the next morning and how she’d asked for how long he’d been single and how bad she felt about him doing this to his ex girlfriend (aka me) so soon after. I laughed about it.

Reflecting on the situation, I see myself sitting there, laughing, the tone of my laughter being slightly off, from the perspective of an observer. I tried to figure out what I thought or felt in the situation. Everything is blank. There is nothing but the kind of “third person perspective” memory.

I know I still care about him. Therefore, there must have been some sort of emotion I am not able to process. Being unaware of my own feelings in a situation where the “normal” reaction in my opinion would be rage or hurt or something like that is really scary.

I’d appreciate any advice/input on how to deal with this situation!

 

Answer:

Start by exploring what you want. What are the questions you are trying to answer for yourself? When you say you want to know how to deal with this situation, what do you mean?

There may be some unprocessed emotions, so what? Why is everything being blank in your memory bothering you so much.

Start with a thought download, answer some questions and come back with what you want to create for yourself around this situation. Give yourself loads of compassion. Why is it completely understandable that you reacted this way in the moment, and now?