Book chapter panic – part 2

Hi, thanks for your coaching on this.
It is refreshing to think that this is just going to be part of the process of writing this – and possibly even step one of getting started. (It has certainly been the case of much of the other writing I’ve done in my career, which is oddly comforting!)
If I knew it was part of the experience, I guess I’d be able to be in it more, without believing that this means I’ll never do it. And treat myself with compassion and gentleness and kindness.
I do want to run away from it when it’s happening. I also have reached out to other people, which has been helpful and comforting. But I wonder if there’s still a bubbling panic in there still, which I’ve tried to squash but hasn’t gone away.
I’m not sure what showing up for myself would look like really. I thought it was seeking support from others, doing kind things to regulate my nervous system, being curious and playful with it (all of which helped this week). But now the panic is back again.
I wonder if it’s specifically part of the process of getting started with it (as I’ve had 3 days away from the book for other work).
I’m starting to get panicked thoughts like: “what if I just never submit it?” / “i’m missing the opportunity” / “i will let this pass me by and no one will notice” / “it’s over” / “i proposed this great idea but i can’t actually deliver on it”… and I just feel the panic rising like I can’t breathe.
At this point, I just want to write something that I can submit, because that’s better than not at all. I’ve done a word vomit stage of the chapter content. But it feels like I have a long way to go.
I have 4 days free now to work on it, and would like to give myself the best chance. To have a fuck it mentality! Of, well, if the alternative is never submit anything, then let’s just write something bad, and see how much is possible during this time…. Its all to play for.
Do you have any other advice on managing my mind in these next stages of the deadline?
Thank you

 

 

Answer:

Yay for a word vomit! And look at what this project is bringing up for you. Although it sounds VERY uncomfortable, it’s the uncomfortable that comes with taking action and that’s pretty cool. You know you best. What values do you hold dear that will help you move forward? What kind of person do you want to be. Embody them now.  Think about future you, who has the book finished. Or even future you that has a chapter.  What do they have to say to you now? Listen.