Boundaries at work

Hi
I’ve been working in my sector for over 10 years, 2 years ago I burnt out, took time off work and was quite unwell. I’ve been back in work for a while but still find that I’m less able to get involved, be confident and stay motivated in work. I work with people and in the past experienced vicarious trauma and overextended myself for others at the sacrifice of my own health and relationships. I’ve been thinking about leaving the sector for a year or so but worry that this is coming from an activated nervous system. I still feel I am in an activated fight or flight place a lot of the time at work, feel unsafe in my team and not competent.
During the Autumn Workshop I reflected on whether my wanting to leave is because I have an unregulated nervous system and I’m still in the process of healing, but then I question whether maybe it’s the fact that I want to leave and I’m not trusting this which causes my bodies reaction to pushing against this instinct and staying there.
I recently moved jobs and now work in a smaller team with less demand and really do have the opportunity to create my role as I want it. I don’t want to walk away from this without giving it a chance.
So I’m thinking that if I spend the next few months trying to regulate my nervous system at work then I can make a decision from a grounded and connected place in Spring.
So with a goal ‘create a regulated nervous system at work’ I start to think that boundaries are important, in the past I have struggled to prioritise myself, believe in myself and trust that I am good enough. So thinking that this is where the work needs to come from here too, which is where I’m getting a little stuck about rocks, thinking;
– set time aside in work to reflect and regulate
– thought work around feeling good enough, have intentional thought to use
– allow time in morning to ground and do things that make me feel good

Any feedback about my reflection or any of the above and how the goal and rocks fit would be great
Thank you for your help 🙂

Answer:

You can leave a job simply because you want to. You don’t need any more reason than that. Giving yourself permission to leave at any time might seem like it would keep you in indecision but the opposite is true. There is freedom in knowing you’re not stuck. Since you’ve chosen to stay and you like your reasons, this is a great opportunity to experiment and grow towards being a person who knows how to thrive in any environment and also knows that they can choose the best environment for themselves confidently.

Your goal looks good, you may want to think about what that will look like for you. Does it mean you never feel an activated nervous system or that you know what to do when you feel something happening? Create a vision of how you’ll show up at work that you can keep in mind as you go through the next few months.

The other thing I would offer is that your rocks include taking time to do them. When someone is already feeling somewhat overwhelmed, having goals that look like more tasks for the to-do list can seem impossible and it’s easy to tell yourself you’re failing.  How could you find a way to make your rocks easily fit into your life? What if it doesn’t take time? What can you think on the days you aren’t able to make time for your rocks that will help you keep going?