Brain adjusting to life changes

Hi coaches – I’ve had some major life changes in the last 18 months, including work, housing and relationships. One area my brain is having particular trouble accepting is my growing awareness of how I feel more regulated in rural environments than in the city where I’ve been living in on and off for the past 10 years.

I’ve made a decision to let my city flat and live for now in the countryside where I grew up. I like my reasons for this decision as they’re about accepting who I am, how I thrive and how I like to work. However, I still have very strong stories in my mind about all the city means to me in terms of identity formation, social life and potential, even though I have little evidence to convincingly back this up. This causes me a lot of stress when I spend time ruminating about the whole decision/situation – which I find myself doing a lot. Basically, although there are a lot of things I love about the city, I know that I function much better outside it and my brain is trying to make that mean a lot of things around how that makes me a loser or not interesting/cool/creative or how I won’t fulfil my potential or feel stimulated outside the city.

Writing this down makes me realise how absurd it is and I know that if I met someone who’d had exactly the same life as me I’d find them intriguing and impressive. I just can’t seem to maintain that thought about myself and end up hating on myself so much, especially in my autumn.

I’d love some help with this. Thank you

 

 

Answer:

Whenever you notice yourself hating on you, especially in autumn, remind yourself that you don’t have to believe everything you think and then just wrap yourself up in some love. It’s ok that your brain hasn’t quite caught up with your decision yet. Brains don’t enjoy change. It sounds as if you like your reasons for moving, and you’ve made your decision, you just need to update the story you are telling.

You can create whatever you want. You just have to be intentional about it until it becomes a habit. It may take time but it could change as soon as you commit to telling a new story.  Give your brain the job of showing you that you are right where you’re supposed to be. What identity, social life and potential do you want to believe you can have no matter where you live? Who do you want to be? How do you want to feel about you? When you know that with certainty, you can thrive anywhere.

If you knew you would be able to create this, how would you feel today?

PS: When we have thoughts like “losers live in the country” that usually comes from 1-3 people in the past who may have said that. Question if you want to keep this thought they offered you.