Breaking Limitations Part 3

When I wrote all of that I believed it, it all felt good in my body; somewhat neutral. But writing it, believing it and putting it into practice feel like 3 different sections I need to bring together.
I would love to expand on what you mean by ‘Where can you make room for yourself to have a 50/50 human experience of purchasing clothes and the challenges that come along with it for you – room for imperfection and messy, imperfect action?’ – would you have some examples of what you mean?

I took the next steps and ordered the jeans. Sadly, they were the wrong sizes and the sizes I do need are out of stock. So I kind of feel back at square one again, but I know I’m not – I now have data that I need different sizes, it just means I won’t have them for when I originally wanted them and that’s going to have to be ok. But that whole task felt so big I couldn’t face ordering the other items I wanted.

Despite writing that and it feeling neutral, right now it feels huge, like it always does. As soon as something comes up that I either would like to buy or need to buy, it feels weighty. That’s because the process to me isn’t as simple as: see it/want it/need it and get it. If I would like an item or need an item it comes with all this analysis and reviewing – is it the right choice? What if? Etc etc. For example, my Apple Watch has broken and the idea of getting another one just feels like this huge road of decisions and emotions and feelings and thoughts. And I know I can and probably should deal with each one as I get there but I feel the whole road is so long, I don’t see the end of when I have made the decision and brought the item.

It’s funny because Maisie’s latest podcast was about this (which I need to listen to again) and she talks about what are the driving emotions. I feel like I am constantly driven by fear and worry with this. This lack of self-trust. I don’t want it to feel this huge, I don’t want every purchase or decision to make a purchase to feel this heavy.

But even as I write that I know I just need to do it because I need the data. And without the data I can’t build a new pathway. But I just get stuck on what tools or methods I can use to make the purchase – even though I pretty much wrote it down in Part 2 – it feels over complicated. And the more I get stuck in my own head because of decisions or the barraging of thoughts, the harder it becomes.

 

 

Answer:

Check in with your nervous system. Is there a reason buying things might feel unsafe?

That’s a great example right there.  You made a decision and took the action to order jeans (how did this feel?) and then they arrived and weren’t the correct size (how did this feel?). That’s 50/50.  What might be most helpful right now is to really lean into it.  Notice how part of you wants to change some patterns and part of you wants to cling to them.  If you were ok with this being the process, what would be different? Try on some “this is the part where….”

This isn’t some flaw within you.  It’s simply a human being learning something new. How would you define what you want to learn? How can you be kind to yourself as you practice? There is no magic destination when everything feels all better.

How can you rewrite this story about buying things you need or want where you are the hero? Get curious.  See what you find.