Bringing back the fun

Hi there AAC,

I’m in a period of intensive work at the moment. I’m a theatre director, and I’m opening three shows back to back in 3.5 months. I’m bang in the messy middle of this period – and I had some amazing coaching from Maisie at the beginning about how to create spaciousness, which has been massively paying off. I’m also super proud of how I’ve been taking care of myself during this period. I’ve managed to not get ill, and nourish my body and soul. I’m also managing to take less responsibility for others’ emotions – something that has been truly transformative. So far, so good.

The thing I want coaching on is this. Within this intense schedule, I’ve really struggled to find the fun. When I’m not in rehearsal, I’ve basically been exercising, cooking myself nourishing meals to take to work with me, and reading books for my downtime. All these are things I love but life is feeling extremely regimented and I’m worried I’m missing fun and spontaneity. Here’s the unintentional model I came up with:

C: My work schedule at the moment
T: I don’t have time for any fun
F: Oppressed
S: Flat heaviness in my limbs
A: Refuse invitations to parties and events from my friends and housemates because I’m too tired
Don’t make social plans because work involves people all the time and I need alone time
Funnel all my free time into self care to make sure I can operate at this intensive work pace
R: I live inside quite a rigid structure

I know the reason I feel the fun is lacking is my THOUGHT – but I also don’t think I can change the circumstances. I have a few things to look forward to, but all this has got me feeling kinda existential about my work. If it requires this level of effort (for not great financial remunerations – that’s another model) – is this what I want to be doing with my life? Help! I realise this is not a super structured question but I’d love to get some coaching. Thank you!

Answer:

You are showing up perfectly. No apologies needed here!

You can always change the C if you want to. I’d be willing to be that nobody is saying you can’t quit tomorrow (except for you, of course!) – although there would probably be some consequences that you might not want to weather. That being said, this is why we work on the T line to settle into the outcome.

First of all, it sounds like you’re having some insights here – namely, this is not how you want to be working for the rest of your life! What a great realization to have! If you don’t want to change your C line now, and you want to create space for fun and spontaneity that feels good to you, in what ways could this be possible that your brain has either not thought about, or has dismissed for whatever reason?

While it’s true that this might be a phase of intensity in your work life, you are learning through it, and you can experience it in a way that feels sensible, truthful, and authentic (and dare I say…good) to you. And you can work to find a way to incorporate what supports you in creative, unorthodox ways. Lastly…congrats on the shows!