Career Confidence

Hi Flow Collective,

I’m looking for some coaching for my career.

I am ruminating a lot these days about my career and I have a lot of stories floating around that are at play, probably aiding in the ruminating. It’s affecting my self-confidence and my relationship with my partner.

I am also blaming my upbringing and society for where I am at in my career and the blaming is not making me feel very empowered.

I have a murky past with my career. I am an abuse survivor so I have had a lot of struggled with setting boundaries with past bosses and letting other’s mistreat me. Sometimes I couldn’t even recognize where I needed the boundary. Other times, I would call-in-sick and avoid work entirely rather than tell other’s how I was feeling. I ended up leaving my job in 2019 after hitting severe burn out. That sparked a long healing journey and I am so very grateful for that. My partner supported me and shouldered a lot of responsibility to make that possible.

But now I’m ready for a change. I want to create something for myself that is always going to be there. Something I can pour my time, energy, and devotion into. I feel like I have so much to offer and I’m just a sitting duck failing to launch. I really want financial independence and I want to wake-up in the morning knowing I have money in my own bank account and tasks I have to do! I have so much harmony in other areas of my life; my health, my creativity, and it does ebb and flow but I am devoted to showing-up for it. And now I want to show-up for my career.

But… I’m struggling to believe in myself. I don’t really know where to look in my life for reassurance that I’m going to figure it out. I am trying to talk to myself kindly about it but mostly I am such a bully. If I’m not calling myself down and diminishing my past accomplishments and success I am blaming someone else for getting in the way of my success.

I don’t know how to change my self-belief. Do you have any ideas?

 

 

Answer:

How has everything you’ve experienced prepared you for this exact moment?  A thought I adore is: I am stronger and more resourced than I’ve ever been.  How is that true for you?

It looks like where you’re getting stuck is thinking that you have to have the self-belief first, then take your first step. Why does it make complete sense that your brain thinks you need to know you’ll succeed in reaching your goal before you start? What is it protecting you from? (this is where all the ruminating comes in).Do some exploring and see what you find.  Then ask yourself: What if that’s not true?   You don’t actually need self-belief at all. It’s nice to have, but what other emotions could get the ball rolling? Put your dream in the result line, and brainstorm the emotions you want to use to get you there.  This is going to be fun! Bring back any more questions or models you want more coaching on.