Caring for physical need for rest despite my own and other people´s deviating expectations

I have a physical need for rest that exceeds the need for rest of my environment, i.e. my partner and my friends, work commitments can also interfere. To give a bit of context, I have highly sensitive senses (hear, smell, touch) and am sensitive to perceiving other people´s mood. In the second half of my cycle, especially from day 20 onwards, this trait becomes very intense. This sensitivity makes it important for me to retreat quite a lot to rest or recover from an activity, or just to be at peace on my own.
Usually, I need to be alone to rest and rebalance myself. I´m an introvert by nature and do enjoy deep, meaningful and peaceful connection to my partner and friends.

I noted that when I need to rest, I often feel rushed to be back to being more social, sooner. I don´t feel a lot of understanding from friends who themselves have a different internal setup, without major sensitivities or introversion. This is also somewhat true for my partner, who has a much bigger need for quantity of socializing and is not so sensitive to the quality of it. Plus, as a guy, he doesn´t know what it´s like on the inside. We share a deep and loving bond that we both enjoy and cherish a lot.

With my partner, my workaround has been to explain what I need at what stage of my cycle and share the days I´m certainly not social in our shared calendar, so he can anticipate and organize his need to be social or active elsewhere and without me.

When I´m having an intense or prolonged need to be on my own, I´m sensing his frustration about that. Note that he rarely complains about it, but I do feel his disappointment. This feels stressful and annoying to me.
This is the UM:

C. partner keeps asking if I want to join activities, make plans with him or friends, and keeps talking to me (in a normal way that, however, is annoying to me on certain days).
T: Why does he not understand that I don´t even want to be bothered with whatever plans or activities even though I explained it and told him a million times (while I do want to be included for the same things at other times). Every time he bothers me again with the same things.
F: anger, disappointment
S: heat in my stomach and solar plexus, tension in my arms and hands
A: I avoid seeing him when I don´t want to talk. I get pissed off at him not adjusting his behaviour to my (changing) needs. I get pissed of at him not understanding and anticipating what is going on and what I need. I feel hurt that I cannot join for activities that I enjoy at other times or meet people I´d enjoy at other times (but not in that moment).
C: Overall, I am angry and frustrated with him, my focus is with him a lot, and I am not resting as I should. And I have some fomo (fear of missing out), which I blame on him.

IM 1:
T: I will make a detailed list of what is ok and what is not ok when that he can look at each month (lists work for him.)
F: actionable, but slightly annoyed
S: light pressure in my chest
A: I make a list and outline the usual scenarios and what I need from him when I am resting.
C: I have done what I could to provide my partner with material to adjust his behaviour to support me better, if this is what he wants to do.
What I don´t like about this EM is that I´m still feeling “at the mercy of sb else”, so I did another one:

IM2:
T: My need to rest is of upmost importance and there is nothing and no one who has the right to interfere with it. Other people are allowed to have a problem with it.
F: Boundaried
S: strong
A: I may note that there is friction arising in other people, but I don´t make it my problem. It let that go.
C: I focus on myself and rest.

Here, I like that the focus is on myself – as it should be when I need to rest. Having my focus outwards then does not make sense at all. However, I would prefer to add a clear manual for my partner, too. I know that my partner wants to support me even if he does not intuitively understand, so this is worth my time. It does matter to me to create clarity, while I know that I need to respect other people´s choices.
Having said that, it´s not possible to control other people´s behaviour. Moreover, controlling each other is not a quality that I want to have in my relationship.

Dear coaches, I´d love your suggestions here.

Answer:

Whenever you have a thought that is a question, answer it.

Why does he not understand that I don´t even want to be bothered with whatever plans or activities even though I explained it and told him a million times?

What story are you telling about him? How could this story be creating an obstacle to your goals?

You’re right, we can’t control other people, but in a relationship we do have influence over each other’s experience. What kind of a partner do you want to be?