Casual date that doesn’t feel casual

Hi,
I went on a date this week with someone new. We were chatting for a few weeks then it came up that they’re not looking for anything serious. I am, but also work is my main focus atm and I thought it would be fun to go on a casual date in the meantime… Also over message, I wasn’t like wow he’s amazing, so I didn’t think I’d have issues with it. There was a couple of things that I’d deemed red flags on his profile, too, like he’d lied about his age by one year (no clue why despite asking him), and where he lives (I’m in london and it said he was so but he’s not).
Then we met, and it surprised me because we got on very, very well. I felt a very strong physical AND mental / emotional connection with him – the latter part was the surprise, because I find it less common to get both. I really enjoyed the date, he seemed to also. And want to see him again.
But I know that he just wants ‘casual’. The thing is it didn’t seem at all casual to me.
There is a part of me that wants to cut it off now to protect myself from getting feelings for someone who isn’t emotionally available to me. There’s another part that wants to keep getting to know him ‘in case’ something changes – which I’m well aware is insane. And there’s another part that just wants to enjoy the ‘casual’ sex for as long it feels fun to me! But I hate the uncertainty, even though it’s always the case in any form of dating.
Any advice in navigating this?
Many thanks

 

Answer:

 

First of all, you don’t have to pursue anything you don’t want to pursue in any venue of your life. And, you’re also allowed to change course if you find yourself drawn to do that and you like your reasons. There are a few curious thoughts emerging in your submission that we can explore, and I’d like to start by exploring hating uncertainty in dating. Why do you hate it?