I couldn’t think which previous submission to add this in to so just thought, why not submit a new one. (I’m CD6 and feeling a bit foggy and don’t have a lot of energy to read back through them all)
On a recent post in the community I spoke about my jealousy towards a friend and previous colleague getting a new job and a fellow member kindly offering me the question of what about my journey can I celebrate and love and learn from. Combined with that, in my recent coaching I was advised to look at how often I’m telling myself I’m stuck.
I started journaling about the aforementioned and then the latter came in so just thought I’d combine it into a submission to expand on.
Thought Download:
If I own it, I know my journey has bought me strength and resilience despite the constant comparison. I’ve always got myself through things – things that at the time I didn’t expect to get through either. I felt stuck in my life before. but I’ve never stayed there. I’ve eventually figured out what to do next, what I want to try or do next, or experience next. I may not have ended up in a place I imagined, but I’ve ended up somewhere I should be incredibly grateful for. I have my own home, a job I’m relatively good at and pays the bills. I’m also felt recently very privileged that I can buy the food I want and I have money to do things, buy things and pay for coaching. I get to go to bed safe every night.
Without all my previous steps I wouldn’t be here. I might be somewhere that’s better or worse, I’ll never know. I’ll only ever know what is in front of me, what I have right now.
Life will always move forward, so I’ll never be stuck despite what my brain says. It wants me to believe I’m stuck to keep me safe, but safe means missing out on my own potential, on new experiences, on new memories. And the more I resist against my brain the more practice I’ll have in moving forward whilst being safe because I’ll learn how to be safe. Some of the proof is already there! I just need to look at the bigger picture sometimes, at my own strength and believe in it instead of believing in the worst case scenario without remembering no matter what I’ll somehow always be okay.
I get caught up a lot on the idea life has to be full of lots of big experiences or I need to be doing big things. I am someone that can get joy and gratitude from the small things (a cup of tea and my book or a nice meal to look forward to etc). I think there’s comparison behind this. Social media showing everyone’s big life moments, resulting in this pressure I put on myself to do, achieve and make something of myself.
I feel this pressure to not waste my days which is why I beat myself up on those days I feel like I’m wasting my days in a job. I don’t enjoy when everyone else is doing something they love and enjoy. Plus they’re making the most of time around work, whereas I feel like I’m not. I wonder how I can sell myself on the idea that my life is enough whether I’m doing small or big things? Is there some not enoughness coming up here?
One thing I can celebrate myself for is I’ve always tried to improve myself. My brain is fighting with the thought, “I’ve always tried”, because it wants to argue back that I didn’t try hard enough in most areas of my life. But in terms of my anxiety and my mindset, I’ve always tried to fight back – to gain control a little so I can live a little. I’ve done the therapy, the coaching, I’ve put that work in, and as long as I keep doing that how will I ever be stuck? Maybe I could look at it that I’m not stuck, I’m just in this place until I’m in another, and maybe I should start being in it more – choose to be present. And moving into that other space doesn’t need to be one big leap. It can be a series of things – like links in a chain. And I need to remember there is no end point. Being unstuck doesn’t mean I come to an end point where I’m not stuck anymore. But like I said, I’ll never be stuck really, I’m only stuck believing my brain when it tells me I’m stuck.
I’d be interested to know how I can utilise them of that when I am in that stuck mindset.
Answer:
What if you start by practicing these thoughts when you’re NOT in a stuck mindset. How could this be easy? How could you start showing your brain that your story is not factual and you can make shifts to it?
When you are in a stuck mindset or you notice you’re inner voice is not being very kind, what do you need? How can you support yourself?
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