Choosing not to date right now

Hi,
I wanted to check in about where I am with dating right now. I know I would like a relationship in the near future. And in many ways I’m more emotionally available than ever, especially in terms of the skills I’ve built around doing healthy relationships. (I’m excited to see how different my next relationship will feel as a result of this!)
However, my work is my main priority right now. As I enter my second year of freelancing, I am re-booting and changing things to make it more financially sustainable – and this is absolutely my priority, especially because of the money element.
It means I have both less time and energy to give to dating.
Plus, I feel disillusioned with dating apps, and actually much happier not using them right now.
And instead I prefer the idea of getting on with business stabilisation, while remaining open to organic interactions that might come up, especially with more options for this in summer, going out etc.
However, I wanted to check in with myself, that I’m not taking a – classic – black and white approach with it. I have a tendancy to do this with work and dating specifically, of not thinking I can do both at the same time. And I don’t want to stop myself doing something or make unecessary rules from a punishing place.
So there might be more of a grey area where I can use apps when I feel like it, but it’s also if I don’t.
And, if I’m honest, I just don’t feel like dating right now, and that this break is doing me good and honouring my needs.
When I do date again I want it to feel fun, after things feeling so heavy and serious in recent years – lots of rejection, mistreatment, frustration etc.
So I think a pause and reset is exactly what I need right now.
Is that ok? (Part of me is scared of putting dating off for too long and not meeting someone…)
Thank you

Answer:

Of course it’s ok. You get to do whatever you want. I notice one thought error that you might want to play with: Dating/Being in a relationship is an energy drain.

Is it true? Is it useful? Who would you be without that thought?

As long as you believe the story your brain is telling you about dating, you will notice that you stay stuck in this cycle. Pausing might be exactly the choice for you. But be aware that this is the model you’re in. (as always, adjust anything that doesn’t resonate with you.)

C: I would like a relationship in the near future

T: Dating is an energy drain

F: disillusioned

S: ?

A: question app use, question myself, spinning thoughts, want to take a break, fear of the unknown

R: I spend my energy thinking about dating.

What do you think? What model would you like to be coming from if you decide to take a break?