Confusion about Autism Pt.2

Thank you so much for such a understanding reply.

I have written my Why’s for persuing an autism assessment. They are as follows:
1. If I am autistic then I definitely want to know about it.
2. It would provide an explanation for certain struggles I experience that are making life quite difficult. It would also explain a lot of the past and how my life has ‘panned out’.
3. I will feel seen, validated and understood if I am diagnosed.
4. I will be able to explain to others why I need things a certain way, or why I find certain things difficult.

Do I like these reasons?

I think I like them all. However, I think I shouldn’t need to be diagnosed with autism to have #2, #3 and #4.

If I don’t have autism, I am still entitled to these 3 things. So should I pursue a diagnosis for these reasons?

Answer:

I love the awareness that you have around not needing them to be diagnosed, and still being entitled to to the last three things on your list (I believe those things for you too!). Why you choose to pursue the diagnosis is up to you. That being said, you don’t need more than one reason to want or pursue something. Since your #1 reason was the outlier on the list of things you think you shouldn’t need to be diagnosed with autism, let’s focus on that.
When you think, “If I am autistic, then I definitely want to know,” what emotion do you feel? How does your body feel (this gives excellent feedback!)? What kinds of messages do these emotions and sensations send to you about pursuing getting a diagnosis?
You’re allowed to do something just because you want to. Wanting is a wonderful experience, and something that we are conditioned to have to justify or explain or sell to ourselves and others (especially if we’ve been socialized as women). But we can want simply because.
Maisie has a podcast episode (#90) that is titled Practising Wanting. Have a listen and see what resonates with you. Come back with part 3 when you’re ready for more coaching.