Crying a lot every day

Hello coaches!

I loved Maisie’s podcast on Emotions this week.

I’ve always considered myself an “emotional” person. I’ve always cried a lot when things are difficult and when I’m overwhelmed or panicking. In the past, I have often cried in situations where I wish I could hold it in because I feel like it’s inappropriate to cry (such as professional situations). I would be so angry at myself, get embarrassed, and call myself weak.

In recent years, I’ve A) not cried so much in “inappropriate” situations and B) not been so mad at myself if that did happen (yay!). I’ve accepted that part of my personality is that I am sensitive and that’s not a bad thing. However, I’m writing now because these last six weeks, it feels like I just can’t stop crying. I’m crying multiple times a day, and my body and brain is exhausted and drained from it. I’m under a huge amount of work pressure and I just wish it would stop. The reasons include a gigantic heartbreak and some other big things that happened. I know I’m still in grief (of the relationship) and I am honouring the emotions (loneliness, sadness, anger) when they come. But at this point, I just wish the endless crying could abate a bit, because it’s making it really difficult to meet deadlines, look after myself, etc. I was trying to implement the Hard Day Protocol, which is great if it’s a couple of days a month or something, but with how I’m feeling, I’d be wanting to do my Hard Day Protocol every single day.

Grateful for any advice you have. I’m also brand new here, so I’m just getting to the module on Self-Coaching now!

Answer:

It seems like a big part of this will probably cultivating a keen awareness of what happens for you as your emotions build to the point of tears. When you can identify how things progress for you with specificity, you can start to see where you can gently derail your default response and tend to your nervous system by moving, mindfully breathing, being comforted or finding glimmers of good around you. Whatever works to help you climb the polyvagal ladder towards safety.

What are physical signs that you are escalating to that point? Think about where your body starts to tighten or ache, and maybe what happens to your heart rate. What happens to your emotions and your brain? When you notice what’s going on (with compassion…always with compassion), what options do you want to have available to you as thoughts, feelings, and actions? What result would you like to create?

Your body is looking for a release, and wants to do it safely. You can give that to yourself. You just have to know when to pull your parachute cord and what to do after the parachute deploys. Watch the Creating Safety and the Somatics webinars as soon as you can (found in the Cycle Toolkit and the Bonuses tab in The Flow Collective member portal respectively). These will be so helpful for you! Come back when you’re ready for some more coaching.