Cycle seasons models – loosing energy loop

Dear coaches, I joined the FC recently and just worked through the harness your hormones. And this is my first Ask a Coach and english is not my mother tongue, hope I’m comprehensible.
I’m doing the cycle tracking more and more regularly since half a year and my main aim is to figure out where I tend to loose most of my energy. Because I consider myself as an energetic but also highly sensitive person and I can’t keep my energy on a level where I feel more than just functioning.

So in order to know my relations I have to my inner seasons, I made for each cycle season a model with the first thought which came to my mind.

I started with my autumn:

C: Autumn
T: There is still so much to do.
F: driven
A: I do to much, I don’t slow down, I’m walking through my environment with no filter, everything has the same priorities, I go to bed late, I eat unconsciously, I find it hard to take pause
R: I’m exhausted

so I go already exhausted into my winter…

C: Winter
T: I cannot offer what is desired
F: insufficient
A: I overstrain myself, I judge myself, I look at myself through the eyes of someone else, I project on others my discontent I have about myself
R: my needs are not covered, I cannot respect the needs of others neither can I receive love and appreciation

my winter ends with unfulfilled needs, and me feeling insufficient, I think my estrogen rises quite early, at day 4, and my body tells my mind to hold my horses…

C: Spring
T: I don’t know what is most important, where to start.
F: overwhelmed
A: I start lot’s of things, or start none of them really, I act unintentional
R: missing clarity and structure

with this missing structure I start my summer or not even notice it…

C: Summer
T: I’m missing energy.
F: powerless
A: I plan less ahead, I tend not to set goals or challenges, I don’t trust my body completely to take powerful actions.
R: I experience less inspired actions, I don’t feel my energy

and with this feeling of a „lost summer“ I go into my autumn, trying to get things done, out of a position of lack instead of abundance.

I think while reading my unintentional models – they sound much more worse as it actually is, there are also lot’s of good moments and also powerful moments, but still the models feel honest and I needed to be honest with myself, to show myself that this is not the way I want it to be.

I’m at day 3 right now and I made myself pieces of intentional models to make some progress in breaking this energy-loosing-loop through my cycle.
And I started with feeling through the insufficient feeling today and I’ve set my intention for this cycle: „what brings me joy?“

My intentional models in T and F:

Winter
T: I’m enough.
F: loved

Spring:
T: I know what I want.
F: clear

Summer:
T: I know I got infinite access to energy through inspired actions.
F: energised

Autum:
T: I allow myself to slow down.
F: calm

I try to put progress over perfection and just have a go with my models and keep on modeling 😉
I don’t expect to get feedback on all the models, as there are too many!
All of these thoughts just bubbled out at once yesterday and I didn’t expect any of this in the beginning.
So I figure what I’m looking for is a guidance where to hold on, focus on?

Thank you for your precious time 🙂

 

Answer:

Thank you for bringing your insights into AAC. It’s always wonderful to see the work that you all do with your awareness of yourselves. Have you given yourself a high five for your insights that you’ve already cultivated? If not…please do so now!

Let’s talk about what to focus on next. A wonderful member of TFC recently said that they don’t want to expect themselves to “make the quantum leap from being unkind to being a serenity saint”. So let’s hone in on your idea to value progress over perfection. How can you do that in this coming cycle? If you find that you’re not fully living in your intentional model thoughts (which is okay!), what thoughts could you think that will support you as you’re on your way there? Things like…

• I’m learning to…

• Maybe I’m a person who…

• It’s possible that…

This not only gets you off the hook from getting to where you want to go in one massive leap, it creates space for you to have compassion for yourself when you notice that you’re in your default thought patterns.

Nice work. Come on back for more coaching!