Dealing with sudden setbacks/bad things happening!

Hi there,
As of yesterday evening I have been told that my job is in serious jeopardy. I will likely find out friday/monday for certain, but it looks like my department is being shut-down with almost immediate effect. Aside from the practical aspects of looking into redundancy issues etc. I would love some focussed advice on how to deal with my emotional state at the moment. This situation really plays into all my feelings of “not enough-ness” and shame and I already feel like Im struggling to keep family/home-life on track with this upheaval.
Is there an “emergency protocol” anyone can suggest in terms of what I could do each day in order to try and protect my own mental state and those that I love? I seem to be hovering between feeling incredibly actived and then wanting to just go to bed/shut down at the moment! I am going to try and take some time today to write down my feelings on all of this, although that will be difficult, but I feel like a need a few “rocks” in place for the next few weeks in order to get me through. My Spring Goal was to try and take “exquisite care” of myself and practice self-love, so I’ll think about that too. Any advice would be really really gratefully received.

 

Answer:

Let’s take a look at your model and go from there.

C: Department may be closed, and job ending
T: I am not enough
F: Shame
A: Going between shutting down/going to bed, being activated, spinning about worst case scenarios, judging myself for how I am managing family and home
R: I don’t see that I am enough. Worth taking care of myself.

The importance of seeing this model is to understand it before trying to go to a more intentional model.

The first thing to do is recognize what you are feeling, and process it. When we try to push it away to keep moving forward, it does not go away. In fact, it slows us down from moving forward. Taking the time to recognize what you are feeling, seeing the thoughts creating it, understanding why it is there, and processing it will help you move forward. This is where self- love comes in. What does it look like to love yourself for having these feelings?

Next, we can begin to look at the model and challenge it. What does it mean to be “enough” in this situation? What does closing down a department have to do with you? In what ways are you enough?

Approach these questions with love and tenderness for yourself. This practice of processing and challenging may be something that you will have to do multiple times as you allow all the emotions to happen. Know that nothing is going wrong. You are having the human experience.

Bring back what comes up for you for more coaching, we’re here to support you as you navigate this change.