Delayed start to a new job

Hello coaches

I worked in a school role up until August this year, it was a really challenging role that I couldn’t wait to finish, for whatever reason I stuck at it, mostly so that I would have the summer holidays off and paid for.

During this summer holidays I applied for a new job recommended by a mutual friend. The process took all summer with small bits of admin and at one point I didn’t think it was going to happen. I had given my notice at my previous job role and with the prospect of a new job with less hours and more money I was feeling excited.

However the whole process has exhausted me and I have now had nearly 8 weeks off, nearly all paid for thanks to my previous job. I have some guilt and shame surrounding the amount of time I had off when I could have taken an extra job however that isn’t what I want coached with today.

My new job hasn’t been the best at communicating and I was hoping to be starting this week, last week my agent told me she was hoping to get me started in my new tutoring role next week once she matches me to an appropriate student. She’s asked me to stay patient and that it’s just a waiting game.

I am doubting my decisions and worried this isn’t even going to be a full time role and realising how much I have been relying on this job financially, I believe I am catastrophising and looking at the worst case scenario.

I also am feeling shame for having another week off work and what this means about myself and how others view me whilst not working.

I’m unsure what model to be in, whether to trust myself and the process with the result it’s all going to work out and be fine.

Or a worst case scenario approach of, okay what’s my plan B if this doesn’t work out.

Or is it worth doing both?

Thank you

 

 

Answer:

What does your inner voice say?  Check in with your nervous system first. What danger is it sensing in your life? How activated are you? How is it affecting you right now?  What would be different if you recognized that you’re experiencing some fight, flight or freeze responses at the moment?

The brain hates the unknown.  How can you support yourself exactly where you are in this job transition?

As for your self judgement. Give yourself some love.  Do a bit of exploring if and when you are ready. There’s no rush.  It can be interesting to ask: Who told me that it wasn’t ok to have 8 weeks off paid?  Who told me that having a week off at a new job wasn’t ok?  What did they say? Very often there are 1-3 people who have offered you some thoughts.  Once you can see them, you can give yourself some love and understanding, and then start the work of choosing which beliefs you want to keep during this season.  We’re here to support you. Bring back any questions or models that you find.