Desire

Hello coaches, I’ve been listening to the Empyrean series recently (a fantasy/love story about a war college) and it has brought up a lot of emotions for me. To hear about a close group of friends that spend every day together has made me yearn for my friends. I took some action and reached out to one of my best friends, which felt really good. We have been sending each other voice notes since then, which I really needed. However, it’s also the love story that triggered something in me. For the first time in a really long time, I desperately want a romantic relationship where I feel seen, supported and safe. I had my chances when I was younger but I was struggling during that time so wasn’t really open for these opportunities. Now that I’ve listened to this series I’m like “it would have been so much easier back then when I was at school / uni where you just gradually get to know someone”. I know that this is a love story that’s not necessarily realistic and I know that it doesn’t help me to ruminate on the past. However, I have these feelings of sadness and desire, which I have allowed myself to feel although it is painful. I needed to write this down. I would appreciate any advice. Thank you in advance!

Answer:

It beautiful what a story can bring up for us. Celebrating you for opening this part of you, what a beautiful beginning to another chapter of your life story.

Notice how your brain found this desire for a romantic partner and then immediately wanted to shut it down. Why do you think that is happening for you?

You’ve noticed some thoughts about the past. Whenever we have a “should” it’s just a lie. You weren’t supposed to have continued those relationships in Uni. How do we know that? Because you didn’t.

You have this desire now. If it wasn’t a problem, what would you use it for? How can it fuel you now, today?