Detaching the thought from the person.

I recently dated someone who I have learned a lot from. Things he said to me like compliments or just general statements he made I am now using as thoughts almost daily and it has helped me tremendously as I am navigating some difficult times at the moment.

The issue is that even though we are not dating anymore and I don’t want to date him, when I think the thoughts I automatically think of him (and question whether or not I made a mistake in my decision not to date him).
This seems odd, because I have borrowed many thoughts from community members in the FC and learned a lot from Maisie and the other coaches but I would never think that now I owe them something or like I have to stay in the FC until the end of time because of it. I just take the thoughts and move on with my life.
Somehow it seems different with this dating situation.

Thanks for your coaching.

 

 

Answer:

Why do you think it is different?

Why is it a problem that you think of him?

What are you making it mean about you? What are you making it mean about your relationship with him?

Celebrating you spending time with a human being who offered you some really useful thoughts and you using them and believing them. How cool is that?