Diet culture comments

Hi – for a long time I’ve found other people’s comments about diet culture very activating to my (in recovery) eating disorder neural pathways. I know lots of useful thoughts to use in these situations such as ‘most people know very little about nutrition’; ‘this doesn’t apply to me’; ‘I know what I need’ etc.

I’m sometimes able to shrug off the comments and not dwell on them. I’ve noticed that when I’m feeling vulnerable I get much more drawn into rumination and allow thoughts about restriction to creep in which then create feelings of fear and anxiety. I’m wondering if you can share any advice about techniques for stopping the thoughts in their tracks and instead generating loving feelings towards myself in vulnerable moments like this.

Another aspect to this is that I find it uncomfortable to know that others have had their views about nutrition distorted by diet culture – probably because I feel threatened by it. I think there’s something about allowing other people to be wrong and trusting my own approach without feeling or acting on the need to correct them. This also comes up when I encounter nutrition advice which is intending to be helpful but which doesn’t align exactly with what I’ve found most supportive so far in my recovery – it ends up activating those restrictive thoughts too.

 

Answer:

It makes so much sense that when you feel vulnerable you’re drawn to rumination and that thoughts about restriction creep in. You’re human. Your brain is probably serving up what has historically made you feel less vulnerable and perhaps more in control or protected, even if it was temporary. Just because these thoughts creep in when you’re feeling vulnerable doesn’t mean anything about you, your progress, or your vulnerability. They are thoughts. Shitty feeling ones, but thoughts nonetheless.
In moments like these, compassion and understanding for yourself are so important. Thoughts like, “This is the part where my brain starts to ruminate…” or “This is the part where I start to think thoughts about restriction…” take some of the punch (read: judgment and shame) out of moments that you might think signify something about where you’re headed or what could happen. It gives you the space to be and love You…all of You…the you that feels vulnerable and thinks about restrictions when you confront other’s views about diets and nutrition and the you that says, ‘Hey, remember, that doesn’t work for us anymore. We’re here now, and here is good.”
Maisie has said before that this work is not about self-improvement, it’s about self-acceptance. It’s so true. If you can reduce the level of judgment about where your mind goes just 1%, that opens up 1% more space in your brain for thoughts that generate loving feelings towards yourself. What thoughts can you create that acknowledge where your brain goes with less judgment? They could start with, “Of course I’m…” or, “It makes sense that…” or, “This is the part where…”. Let us know what comes up for you and whether practicing understanding and compassion creates room for loving thoughts and feelings in a submission titled, “Diet culture comments pt. 2”.