Difficult conversation with a friend

One of my best friends ended her relationship with her boyfriend in March. Her boyfriend and I have also been very close for a long time and I would like to maintain a friendship with him. He has since moved on to another relationship. My friend is finding it difficult that he has moved on.

I recently had a conversation with my best friend about my desire to continue being friends with her ex boyfriend. She said she would find it uncomfortable and it would have consequences for our friendship. I want to maintain a friendship with both of them, but I feel very sad that this will likely affect my friendship with my best friend. I want to feel okay that she feels uncomfortable (since by seeking a friendship with both of them I am following my gut feeling and values), but it is difficult. Any advice would be most welcome! Thank you.

 

 

Answer:

What would love do? Love for the ex-boyfriend, your best friend and you? Love is always the best place to come from when we’re showing up in our relationships. You already believe that you can maintain both relationships. Your bestie does not. That’s ok. She’s allowed to think whatever she wants. Love her right where she is.

Notice that your brain wants this to be an all or nothing one time choice you have to make. That’s not true. When you notice thoughts like that coming up, question them. Stay present and do what feels most loving today. Know that things may evolve in the future. You’ll find peace knowing that no matter what, you have been in integrity with yourself through it all.