Disappointed in self – Part 3

Hello Coach
Thank you for your insight. I am catching up with this coaching you gave me quite a bit later. The focus is a lot on self-love, self-compassion and self-trust. Massive topics for me that underpin most every of my struggles.
“One of the most loving things we can do for ourselves is to own our choices.” – But how to know which is right or wrong? Of course many of them were valuable to me and I chose each of them in the moment, but with hindsight of the impact all of them together had, I surely would have chosen differently…
“What would be different if you trusted your choices?” – I believe I trusted myself in each of those choices. I consciously decided all/ most of those, knowing my energy struggles. The issue seems that, in reflection, I cast judgement and mistrust on those decisions because I see where they all brought me to today.
“How do you feel when you tell those stories of how you are going to make your condition worse and how you compare yourself to a smoker?” – Slapped into reality like Get your sh** together, this is serious. It may be invisible and you can pretend it’s not really there but it IS and THIS IS ME REMINDING YOU! I see it as a positive thing in that respect – like it keeps me in check.
“The past is done, we can’t change it. The future is unknown, it’s not useful to imagine it in a terrible way.” – Yes the past is done, but i have a chance to change my future behaviour. I.e. i’ve smoked all i’ve smoked so far, but i have the opportunity to stop that smoking now.
How can I remain present while still taking these future risks seriously, and making present-time decisions that respect that? E.g. it’s easy in the present to say YES to renting the house you would most like but what about your pension or a rainy day down the road ?
OK i am noting your questions:
“How could you redirect your brain back to the present when you notice it wanting to wander?”
“As you choose where you put your energy, how could you be more intentional hour by hour, day by day?”
But for now these seem irrelevant because i’m stuck in the : BEING PRESENT IS A RISK state. So can we work on those bits and you can bring this in later if applicable?
OK this is a big one, thank you coach i look forward to your answer

 

 

Answer:

 

We’re so happy to revisit this with you and dive back in. You’ve had some time to do some introspection, and a deep and good one you have done!
What stands out to me in this follow up is that you say being present is a risk. Why is that? Tell us more about it and we’ll continue coaching.