Doubting freelance career after time away / no results recently

Hi,

This month, I’ve had quite a ‘slow’ start to my working year as a freelancer. Although this is probably an unfair statement in itself…! I have done some shifts for a magazine that I do regularly. But outside of that, I’ve been focussing less on direct freelance actions.

Instead, I’ve been spending time getting organised, blitzing various life admin tasks that had built up, building structures and systems for my work (which were sorely needed), sorting emails that had also built up… As well as coming up with visions for the year – including going on a solo trip which helped with this! And making a start in building habits in some key areas: health (including processing news about a recent diagnosis), connection with others, and making it a routine to post more on my Instagram, plus launching my Substack newsletter.

A big part of this ‘slowness’ has also been about rest and recovery from what I’m realising now was a huge year of change for me in 2024. And I’m feeling the positive effects of this re-energising.

A theme last year that popped up a few times was also burnout – and allowing work to take over everything when I first went freelance. So, all of this ‘indirect’ action to create the life I want around freelancing – before then introducing it – has been very intentional. I wanted to have space to get these habits and structures in place to avoid the all-consuming approach to freelancing I took previously.

However, the flip side of this is that money has been tight this month – and I’ve actually dipped into savings to support myself, as I can’t live off the part-time magazine work. I’ve sent a couple of pitches this week, but not really gone for it casting the net wide yet – and had some rejections already.

And, I think that the self-doubt is starting to flood in again! About whether I’ll ever get another commission… (dramatic) and what I’m doing in such a precarious, hard, high effort, low pay line of work…….. (Even though, BTW, there is so much that I love about it – and the idea of going into a full time job working for someone else after my taste of freedom fills me with horror right now)!

But I guess my faith is feeling shaken right now and the doubts are creeping in, especially fuelled by money worries.

Plus, the more to do lists I’ve made the more overwhelmed I feel by it all… like its this mammoth, impossible task…

Do you have any tips on managing these fears so that they don’t stop me going for it and giving this my best shot? I really would like to give it another chance this year, and see how sustainable I can make it, in terms of energy and money.

Thanks so much!

 

 

Answer:

Interesting that your brain thinks the only two options in this moment are not covering your bills with part time/freelance work or going in to a full time job. What other options do you have?

Doubts are to be expected. If you listen to them with compassion, what are they saying to you?

If going for it is what you want, bring the fear with you. There’s no courage without fear. The only problem is your brain making it a problem.

What would you say to January 2024 you knowing what you know now?

What would January 2026 you say to you now?