Drinking wine to relieve stress

I drink wine at home most nights after the kids go to bed. I would like to have more nights without alcohol but haven’t been able to achieve this so far. I have long wanted to drink less frequently as I don’t like feeling so dependent but it hasn’t been a big deal. More recently it is affecting my sleep more and more due to waking in the night which of course affects my mood and everything the next day. I am aware that I use alcohol to relieve stress and overwhelm of working with two kids with health conditions which need to be carefully managed- it’s a lot to juggle. Even when I am not dealing with particularly stressful things in my life I feel the need to have a drink after the kids go to bed simply to unwind and relax and because in the moment I enjoy it.

I have made some really positive changes to my life since joining the collective by reflecting on what I do and using thought work- notably eating more nutritious food which has had a wonderful impact on my health and feeling nurtured and also managing my workload and knowing I will do what needs to be done. But with this I haven’t really made any headway on shifting my behaviour even though I feel I have an awareness of what I’m doing. How might I approach this?

 

 

Answer:

Don’t downplay how important awareness is. That’s such a big step. Celebrate yourself. Also celebrate the desire to make a change. Often we don’t allow ourselves to be proud until we have achieved “the thing.” What if you could start be already being proud of yourself? You are amazing.

If you’ve already made some shifts in your eating, what lessons have you learned that will help you drink less? Explore what’s worked for you, what tools are best, and how you’ve set yourself up to succeed.

Understand that your body is used to this drinking at night cycle. At this point it believes it needs it and it will give you signals. The way we change these patterns is to allow this desire to be there, but we don’t answer it. Let your brain freak out a bit, and get louder. You still don’t have to answer it. Expect it to be uncomfortable.  Get good at uncomfortable. A great thought to use is “I’m becoming a person who….”  Who do you want to be? What do you want your evenings to look like? Start by creating that vision. Come back with any questions or models for more coaching.