Dysregulated due to Political Issues

I have been a part of TFC for nearly four months now. The tools I’ve learned along the way, particularly the thought-model exercise, have helped me overcome many challenging experiences. Although some days its been easier to sit down and do a thought-model than others, I’ve generally found my way around to a centred and grounded place.

However, the events that have evolved in the last week in of my country of origin (Iran) have dysregulated me and I am struggling to bring myself back to a centred place. The combination of negative thoughts and feelings (shock, anger, sadness, guilt, etc.) lead to a lot of behaviours I would normally associate with buffering (doom-scrolling social media first thing in the morning and right before bed, snacking, self-isolating, etc.). I initially decided that the circumstances were unique and in this context, these behaviours aren’t necessarily buffering, as they’re sort of a last resort in desperate times (e.g., can only get real updates on the situation back home via Twitter due to state control of the news).

Now, 10 days later, I’m no longer sure if making exceptions based on this circumstance is helpful as my harmful thoughts and behaviours are persisting and beginning to affect my mental health in a way that makes me feel like I’m sinking deeper into a black hole. As it so happens, I am also recovering from surgery and dealing with big deadlines at work. With all of this in mind, I would like to reach a state where I am more grounded and regulated, not consistently tired, sad or irritable. But I also don’t want to feel like I am abandoning my community by choosing to turn a blind eye. There is a blocking thought that is preventing me from pursuing an intentional thought model – I feel guilt for wanting to feel better at a time when the members of my community are hurting so deeply.

I know I can’t be the only one who has experienced this tension, and would appreciate any insight on how to make room for my grief and sadness without indulging in unhelpful behaviours.

 

 

Answer:

  You’ve done a wonderful job noticing what is happening for you and being intentional and compassionate. We don’t always have to write out models to be managing our minds. The problem you’ve identified is very normal in any kind of grief. There comes a point where you do want to feel better and guilt immediately comes in because we think that it’s not ok.

We want to gently question those thoughts and what we are making them mean. Be open and curious. What does you feeling terrible and acting from this place do for the people of Iran?

 Is this thought true: I am abandoning my community by choosing to turn a blind eye?

How could you taking care of you be the best thing to do? It’s possible to stay in complete integrity with yourself and hold space for the grief and change the way you are dealing with it. What would that look like for you?

Please bring back your models or questions so we can support you through this.