Early pregnancy anxieties

I had a miscarriage last year and have recently found out I’m pregnant again after wishing for this for almost a year.
I’m feeling worried about the pregnancy, I don’t want to lose another baby and go through that suffering again. I find myself going through fluctuations of anxiety usually around whether I feel my symptoms strongly. If I feel normal I worry that I am going to lose the baby, if I feel sick/tired etc I feel okay and less worried.

I don’t know exactly what I want to feel. I think it’s normal to feel this way but isn’t very settling/easy for me or partner.

Answer:

Pregnancy after loss is a unique experience. The thing we’re supposed to be excited about is actually so anxiety inducing. There are two main issues we often see:

Your nervous system is actually activated by being pregnant. As you said, your experience shows that this could potentially bring suffering. Our brain doesn’t see the difference between emotional and physical suffering (thought miscarriage can bring both) and so there will be a reaction.
We think it shouldn’t be like this and judge ourselves. For example “why can’t I be happier? Why can’t I be more excited?” are questions that can come up.

Can you see how it makes a lot of sense that you’re hyper aware of symptoms? That you are worried?

If you could wrap yourself in the biggest blanket of compassion and understanding…what would you do? How could you best support yourself physically, emotionally, and in your nervous system? What extra suffering could you put down if you just allowed this pregnancy after miscarriage experience to be what it is?