ending a professional relationship pt II

Hi there,

thanks for your help. I think I have already made the decision. When we had the discussion about the invoice/ additional fees, I didn’t suggest how to handle this in the future. Knowing myself I will always suggest a solution for the future, if I do want to continue the relationship.

I think what I am battling with is the timing. I don’t want them to think that I am throwing away the cooperation over the invoice situation.
You asked me why my brain wants to end the relationship in the same conversation as getting on the same page. Truth is I don’t really want to have this conversation at all. We had a misunderstanding about whether or not I have to pay a certain fee or not. In my opinion the fee was never discussed before, while they are sure that they have brought it up and would be entitled to charge it. They already told me, since there is no written agreement on this, they will not put it on the invoice. However, that’s not the only thing that this conversation will be about.

They have mentioned to me that they felt the tone in that I have declined to pay was too harsh and not appropriate to the situation. I don’t agree. They have mentioned that both of us should feel comfortable in this cooperation (and apparently because of it they currently don’t) and asked for my view on this.

To me it seems that the situation is unnecessary emotionally charged and that they are overstepping a line. Afterall this is a professional relationship, we are not friends. It’s just a simple misunderstanding about a fee, but it seems that the whole “relationship” needs to be discussed because of it.

I don’t really want to do that. 1. Because I think it’s unnecessary and there is some overreaction on their part and 2. Because I don’t want to continue the cooperation.

I think I probably should, out of fairness and the good cooperation we have had so far. We don’t have any formal contract or anything, so I can just give them a heads up, that I am not booking any further sessions. I want to end this on good terms and also be honest with them.

What’s wrong with doing what’s easy?
I’m struggling to see what would be easy in this situation. Probably not overthinking it and just sending them a short email. I am worried though that this will lead to a bigger discussion or that I will be on edge regarding whether or not (and what) they will reply. Also that they will have certain thoughts about me (that don’t mean anything about me..)

 

 

Answer:

 

The great thing about being an adult is that you don’t have to do anything you don’t really want to do – the subtext here is that there are consequences to everything we do, both good and not so good, intended and unintended.  If you want the relationship to end cordially, what do you think you have to do to give yourself the greatest chance of making that a reality? How would you have to feel to do those things? What would you have to think about yourself or the situation to create those feelings within you?